


To Find Somebody

by Samunderthelights



Category: Vikings (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Boys In Love, Don't copy to another site, Drama & Romance, F/M, Falling In Love, Family, Family Drama, Friendship/Love, Getting to Know Each Other, Happy Ending, Light Angst, Living Together, M/M, Main pairing is Bjorn / Halfdan, Sharing a Room, Slow Romance, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:53:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 46,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27382243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Samunderthelights/pseuds/Samunderthelights
Summary: After ending his relationship with Torvi, Bjorn needs a place to stay. His first thought is to move into Ragnar and Athelstan's cottage. But when he asks them for their help, he finds out that they have already rented out the cottage to a young man named Halfdan.
Relationships: Athelstan/Ragnar Lothbrok, Bjorn/Halfdan the Black, Torvi/Ubbe (Vikings)
Comments: 15
Kudos: 53





	1. Chapter 1

Bjorn is in the bedroom, packing his bags, when Torvi comes in, her eyes still red and puffy. But she has stopped crying, and she is calm and composed. Bjorn had always admired her strength, and in this moment, he is grateful for it, because he knows he wouldn’t have been able to comfort her, or tell her the right words to try and calm her down.

“You don’t have to leave.”

“I do,” Bjorn says, as his ex sits down on the bed. “I can’t stay here, not after…”

“Where will you go?” Torvi asks.

“I’ll go back to my father’s place. He has the cottage, so… I’m sure he’ll let me stay there for a while.”

“Please, Bjorn…”

“There’s no point in me staying here if we’re not together,” Bjorn says, but he can tell that the words are hurting Torvi, so he stops packing his bag, and he sits down with her. He takes her hand in his, before letting out a sigh. “I am sorry. You know that, don’t you?”

“I know. But just because we can’t be together anymore, that doesn’t mean that we can’t be friends.”

“You still want to be my friend, after what I told you?”

“I don’t want to lose you,” Torvi admits, and Bjorn can see the pain, the hurt in her eyes, no matter how hard she is trying to hide it. He gives a small nod, before bringing her hand up to his lips to kiss it.

“You’re a good woman, Torvi. You will find a man who can give you the love you deserve.”

“So will you,” Torvi says, and Bjorn can’t help but smile. “Too soon?”

“Perhaps a little.”

* * *

Just this morning Bjorn had come out to Torvi, and after a relationship of many years, they had decided to end their relationship. It feels like his life has been turned upside down, but as he drives onto his father’s land, and he sees the villa, it feels like a calmth washes over him.

He gets out of his car, and goes over to the villa, where he can already hear his brothers laughing and shouting at each other.

He knocks on the door, and after a moment, his stepfather opens the door, a worried look on his face, clearly not expecting guests at this time of night. But when Athelstan sees Bjorn, he gets the biggest smile on his face.

“I didn’t know you were coming. Come in!”

Bjorn gives his stepfather a big hug, by now towering over him, but still remembering when he was just a boy, when he hadn't liked him at all, and he had even called him names and threatened him. But as he had grown up, he had grown closer to Athelstan, he had even come to think of him as family. And by the time his father and Athelstan had fallen in love, and they had actually gotten married, he couldn’t have been happier for them.

“What are you doing here?” Sigurd asks, when he sees his brother. “Where’s Torvi?”

“Did she kick you out?” Hvitserk laughs. “Did she finally realise she can do better?”

Ragnar comes into the living room, and when he sees his son, he gives him the biggest hug.

“We’ve just eaten, but I can make you something. Do you want a sandwich, or pasta, or…?” Athelstan begins, but when he sees the look on his stepson’s face, he stops, a worried look on his face. “Is everything alright?”

“What have you done?” Ivar asks. “Are you in trouble?” His eyes light up, at the thought of his brother getting into trouble, and Bjorn wants to snap at him, but he decides to let it go. He isn’t worth the energy.

So he sits down in between Ubbe and Alfred, while Ragnar and his husband sit down on the other couch.

“What’s wrong?” Ragnar asks. “Is Torvi okay?”

“She’s fine. We both are. But we ehm… we have decided to end our relationship,” Bjorn explains, for a moment wondering if he should tell the reason why. But when he feels his brother’s eyes burning a hole in him, he decides this isn’t the time to tell them. Not like this.

“What happened?”

“That’s between Torvi and me,” Bjorn says, and by the look on his face, his brothers know not to pry any further. But Bjorn can see the worry on his father’s face, and he knows he will have to tell him something. “Nothing happened, and we’re still friends. So…”

“Are you okay?” Ragnar asks, but Bjorn just nods, not ready to talk about it just yet.

“So why are you here? You could have called us to tell us that, or you could have sent us a text,” Ivar shrugs. “Why are you here?”

“Torvi kicked him out,” Hvitserk realises, and Bjorn sends him a warning glare. “That is why you are here, isn’t it?”

“You’re here for the cottage?”

“I know it needs a lot of work, but…”

“We fixed it up over the summer,” Ragnar explains, but by the guilty look on his face, Bjorn can tell that there is more to it.

“Did one of you take it?”

“I wish,” Ubbe says. “They decided to rent it out.”

“So someone else is living there?”

“Not yet,” Ragnar admits. “He’s moving in tomorrow morning. If you had told us last week, then maybe…”

“It’s fine,” Bjorn quickly says, trying to show a smile, but he can’t hide his disappointment. The cottage had been empty for as long as he can remember, so he had assumed that he could move in. Now that he can’t, he has no idea where he’ll go.

“You can move in with Lagertha,” Ivar suggests. “I’m sure she won’t mind.”

“What? You want me to live with her at the pub?” Bjorn asks. “You know how small the apartment is.”

“Well, there’s no room for you here.” Ivar shrugs, before getting up, and leaving the room.

“Ignore him. We’ll figure something out. Hvitserk and I can put another bed in our room,” Ubbe suggests. “It’s only temporary, right?”

“Of course.”

“Tonight you can stay at the cottage, then we’ll figure it out tomorrow,” Ragnar says. “Let’s not start moving things around tonight.”

* * *

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Ragnar asks, when he is walking Bjorn to the cottage, after they have all watched a movie together. “You were with Torvi for a long time, so…”

“I know, but we can’t be together anymore,” Bjorn says, and he almost tells his father the reason why. But he can still see the hurt look on Torvi’s face, and he doesn’t think he can handle seeing that look again today. “We’ll be better off as friends.”

“Are you sure? Can’t you go talk to her, fix things?”

“No, dad,” Bjorn sighs. His parents had only been teenagers when he was born, and Bjorn had always felt lucky to have young parents. He had always been able to talk to them about anything and everything, even after the divorce, and Ragnar had gone on to marry Aslaug, and he had started a new family with her. His father had never abandoned him, and he had always been there for him. But no matter how many times his father has told him he will love him, no matter what, he still can’t get himself to talk to him now. He just isn’t ready.

“You know I’m here for you, don’t you?” Ragnar asks, as though he has read his son’s mind, and Bjorn can’t help but smile. “And so is Athelstan. If you want to talk…”

“I know.”

“I’m sorry about the cottage. If I had known, I never would have rented it out. But it was just there, and… I wasn’t going to let your brothers have it,” Ragnar explains, and Bjorn can’t help but laugh. “You know they would tear the place apart.”

“They would.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. I’ll find a place. But this guy who’s moving in, do you know him?”

“Not really.” Ragnar shrugs. “He overheard me telling your mum about the place, at the pub. He asked me if it was still available, I told him it was… he hasn’t even come to see it.”

“Do you trust him? What if he’s…”

“I’m sure it’s fine.”

“I’m sure it is,” Bjorn laughs, shaking his head, as he looks up at the cottage, which is looking much better now than the last time he had seen it. “Thanks, for letting me stay here tonight.”

Ragnar gives his son a big hug, before turning and going back to the villa. Bjorn goes into the cottage, and he can’t help but smile when he sees how the place has been fixed up. It had been falling apart before, but the living area looks, and smells, new, the kitchen is still shiny and clearly hasn’t been used before. And when he goes upstairs, he finds a brand-new bathroom, and a king size bed, the sheets still crisp and clean.

He almost feels guilty for using the bed for the night, for taking the newness away for this stranger whose home this will be. But after taking a shower, exhaustion hits him, and he can’t deny that the bed looks more than just a little inviting. So he gets in, and he flips on his stomach, so he can look out of the window, which is overlooking the abandoned stables, and the woods.

He grabs his phone, and he rings his mother’s number, although he knows that she is probably at work at her and Ragnar’s pub right now. But he is surprised to have her pick up, and just hearing her voice, it makes him feel like things are okay again.

“Mum!”

“Bjorn, are you alright?” Lagertha asks, obviously worried as to why her son is calling her in the middle of the night.

“I ehm… I told Torvi.”

“What did she say?”

“We ended our relationship. So I’m at the cottage now,” Bjorn says. “But I can only stay here for the night, because…”

“Then you can stay with me. I know the apartment is small, but we’ll find a way to make it work. We’ll…”

“Thanks, but I can stay with Ubbe and Hvitserk.”

“Are you sure?” Lagertha asks. “You are always welcome here. I don’t care how old you are, you are still my son, and you will always have a place in my home.”

“I know.” Bjorn smiles. “But I think I’ll stay here for a while. Being around my brothers, it’ll help me take my mind off things.”

“Was she upset with you?”

“She was hurt,” Bjorn admits, and he flips onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. “But I can’t be with her, mum. Not when I know I’m gay.”

“You did the right thing, Bjorn. I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but it wouldn’t have been fair on either of you to…”

“I know,” Bjorn quickly says, and he hears his mother sigh. “Do you have to get back to work?”

“I do. Will you be okay?”

“I will. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Lagertha says, and Bjorn hangs up the phone. He can’t help but think about Torvi, about when they had met. He had only been twenty then, and he is almost thirty now. He thought he had had it all figured out then, and within weeks of meeting Torvi, they had moved in together, and their lives together had fallen into place. But over the last year or so, he had started to question not only their relationship, but himself. He had confided in his mother about it, and she had told him to go figure things out, before it’s too late. Before he would be stuck, living a life that wasn’t meant to be his. Before he would be wasting not only his life, but Torvi’s as well.

He had listened to his mother, and as he had stopped fighting his feelings, and he had given into his doubts, he had grown to realise that, as much as he loved Torvi, something about it wasn’t as it should be. He longed for something different, something more. He knew what was missing, what it was that he was looking for, and after the longest time, this morning he finally built up the courage to speak the words to Torvi.

But now that he is here, he feels like this should be the beginning of something else, something new. A new part of his life. But the thought of having to start over, after being with someone for such a long time, it fills him with nothing but dread.

* * *

Bjorn is still feeling exhausted when he wakes up the next morning, but he knows he can’t stay in bed any longer, because whoever will be living at the cottage, will be arriving soon. So he jumps into the shower, and he gets dressed, before going over to the villa for breakfast.

“What time was this guy supposed to get here?” Hvitserk asks. “Can’t you say that the place burned down, and let Bjorn have it?”

“We can’t,” Ragnar laughs. “And he should be here any minute.”

“No sabotaging,” Athelstan laughs. “Even if it’s for your brother.”

“Don’t worry, I don’t want him here anyway,” Ivar snaps, before leaving the table, and storming out of the room.

“Ignore him,” Sigurd tries, but Bjorn gets up, and he goes after his youngest half-brother, and catches him on the stairs up to his room.

“Why do you still hate me, huh?”

“You know why,” Ivar spits out. “You kept me away from my mother!”

“You think she cares for you? She left you!” Bjorn can hear himself say, even though he knows it isn’t fair, and he knows he should be better than that. But he is sick and tired of Ivar hating him for something that happened years ago.

“She wanted to see me, and you kept me from her!”

“Guys,” Ragnar tries, as he joins them. “Ivar, you know what really happened. Your mother only came back for…”

“Don’t say she came back for you. She came back for me!” Ivar spits out, his eyes filled with fire. “She came to get me!”

“Ivar…”

“No, you did this. Both of you!” he cries out, before storming up the stairs, into his room.

“He doesn’t hate you,” Ragnar tries. “He just…”

“He wants his mother,” Bjorn sighs. “I didn’t keep him from her, she…”

“I know, Bjorn. I was there, remember?”

“Yeah…”

They both hear a car outside on the gravel, and they look out of the window, only to see an old, small car stopping. They go back into the kitchen, where the others are still having breakfast.

“He’s here.”

A nervous tension can be felt in the room, and when the stranger knocks on the door, Athelstan has to compose himself for a moment, before going to open it.

“You must be…”

“Halfdan,” the stranger says, as he shakes Athelstan’s hand. “Nice to meet you.”

“I’m Athelstan. You’ve already met my husband, about the cottage?”

“Yes.” Halfdan flashes a nervous smile. “We ehm… we met at the pub.”

“Halfdan, it’s good to see you again,” Ragnar says, showing him a big smile, but Bjorn can see that now that this stranger is actually here, he is actually nervous about him moving into the cottage. About him living on their land, about him living so close to the family, when they don’t even know him.

“Am I early?”

“No, not at all! Let me introduce you to the family,” Ragnar says, before quickly introducing his stepson and his sons, except for Ivar, who is up in his room, to Halfdan. Halfdan gives a nervous wave, and Bjorn can’t help but smile, because he can imagine how overwhelming it must be to come into their household.

“I’ll show you the place. I think I left my phone in there,” he says, before leading Halfdan out of the villa, into the fresh air. “Don’t worry, they’re alright once you get to know them.”

“Oh, I…”

“Except for Ivar, he’s moping in his room right now. He’s my youngest brother,” Bjorn explains. “Just try and avoid him, and you’re good.”

“Right…”

“I’m Bjorn.”

“Halfdan.”

They shake hands, before they continue on to the cottage.

“So… I stayed at the place last night, so it isn’t as new as it was before. Sorry about that,” Bjorn explains. “I actually came here last night, thinking I could move in, only to find out you had already taken the place.”

“Oh…”

“Don’t worry,” Bjorn laughs, when he sees the nervous, overwhelmed look on the stranger’s face. “My brothers are letting me stay in their room. I still have a roof over my head.”

“I’m glad. I would hate to have put someone out on the street,” Halfdan says, a shy smile on his face.

“So, what do you think?” Bjorn asks, as they look up at the cottage.

“It’s great.”

“Just wait until you see what it looks like on the inside,” Bjorn says, before leading Halfdan into the cottage, and just seeing the look of awe on Halfdan’s face, it brings the biggest grin onto his face. “What did I say? It’s better than what you expected?”

“Didn’t your fathers fix this up by themselves?”

“Oh, Athelstan isn’t my father,” Bjorn explains. “Ragnar had me with his first wife, then my brothers with his second wife, and then he married Athelstan, so…”

“I’m so sorry! I just assumed he…”

“Don’t worry.” Bjorn smiles. “Athelstan is family, just not my father.”

Bjorn grabs his phone from the table, and he sees a missed call from Torvi. He sighs, but Halfdan notices, and he smiles.

“Girlfriend trouble?”

“Ex-girlfriend. We ended our relationship yesterday,” Bjorn explains. “That’s why I came here.”

“Oh…”

“I should probably show you upstairs,” Bjorn says, trying to change the subject. The last thing he wants, is to tell this stranger about Torvi, and yet, he wouldn’t mind spilling all right now. To tell this stranger all about what he has been through over the past year, what has happened yesterday, what he has told her, perhaps it would take a weight of his shoulders. Perhaps it would make him feel some kind of relief.

But instead, he keeps quiet, and he takes him upstairs, and he shows him the bathroom, and the unmade bed, which makes him feel a little embarrassed, now seeing it left like that. But Halfdan doesn’t seem to mind. Not at all.

“This place is so much better than what your father described.”

“Yeah?”

“What if… and don’t take this the wrong way, but if you need somewhere to stay, I don’t mind sharing the place with you. It’s big enough for two, isn’t it?” Halfdan suggests, and Bjorn can’t help but smile at the stranger’s kindness, but when he sees the king size bed, the one bed, he shakes his head.

“I don’t think they intended for people to share the place. And I don’t fancy sleeping on the couch. At least my brothers are offering me a bed,” he laughs.

“We can take this out, put in two single beds,” Halfdan suggests. “Or we take out the couch, put in a bed downstairs. I don’t mind, honestly. This is your father’s cottage, you should be able to live here.”

“You’re not just saying that because you want me to pay half the rent, are you?” Bjorn asks, but he is only teasing Halfdan. “Are you sure you don’t mind sharing?”

“As long as you don’t kill me in my sleep, I think we’re good,” Halfdan says, and by the smile on his face, Bjorn can tell that he is finally starting to relax.

“I think that’s fair enough.”

They shake hands, before leaving the cottage and going back to the villa. But when they get there, Bjorn can feel his stomach grumbling, because he hasn’t actually been able to sit down for breakfast yet.

“How about we go into town for breakfast?” he suggests, and he can see Halfdan hesitate for a moment, but then he sees a smile form on his face, and they get into his car. “So, what made you want to move out here?”

“I needed a change.”

“From?”

“Everything,” Halfdan admits. “My brother, he ehm… he has been involved in all kinds of dodgy things for as long as I can remember, and I have always tried to follow in his footsteps,” he explains. “I’ve always tried my best to do as he does, make him proud… but I’ve never actually done anything for myself, or tried to figure out what I want… who I am. You know?”

Bjorn is taken aback at the honest and open answer from this man who he has only just met, and it makes him jealous, it makes him wish he could be this honest and open with people he doesn’t even know. For a moment all he can do is stare at Halfdan, but when Halfdan is met by silence, a blush appears on his face.

“Sorry…”

“No, I… I get it,” Bjorn says, and he flashes a small smile.

“You do?”

“Yeah. I do.”

* * *

“Did you grow up around here?” Halfdan asks, when they are at a café, having breakfast.

“No, we used to live on the other side of town, and when my parents got a divorce, my father and his second wife, Aslaug, they moved into the villa. So my brothers grew up here. But I lived on the other side of town with my mum, until I moved in with…”

“Your ex?”

“Yes,” Bjorn sighs. “But that’s…”

“A story for a different time?” Halfdan suggests, and Bjorn can’t help but smile. He has gotten so used to hanging out with Torvi, or with Torvi and their friends, that he had almost forgotten what it’s like to spend time with someone else, without her being there. He had almost forgotten what it’s like to meet someone new, and to let them into his life, what it’s like to get to know them.

“You’re not from around here, are you?”

“I’m not, but my brother has… business, here in town. So I’ve been here many times, especially over the last few months,” Halfdan explains, an embarrassed look on his face. Bjorn can tell that he is embarrassed, having been involved in his brother’s criminal activities, and he feels sorry for him. He wants to tell him that it’s okay, that he isn’t going to judge him, and neither is his family, but he doesn’t want to make him feel uncomfortable, so he keeps the words to himself.

“Is that why you were at the pub?”

“No. I came to the pub for a drink, nothing more. I had actually just told my brother that I wasn’t going to work for him anymore. But he had taken me to your… it is your father’s pub, isn’t it?”

“It’s my parents’ pub, actually.”

“Right… well, my brother had taken me there a few times before, and I remembered it, so… Sorry, I’m confused now. Your parents, they own a pub together, but they…”

“They divorced when I was a kid,” Bjorn laughs, when he sees the confused look on Halfdan’s face. “Then my father moved into the villa with his second wife, Aslaug, they had my brothers, they divorced…”

“So I did get that part right.”

“Then my father and Athelstan got together,” Bjorn explains, and Halfdan nods. “my mum lost her job, my father hated his job, so…”

“So they…”

“Bought a pub together.” Bjorn shrugs, only when he says the words, realising how odd it must sound to others. “They’re still best friends, even though…”

“Your father is now married to Athelstan?” Halfdan asks, and Bjorn nods. “And Aslaug?”

“We haven’t seen her in years. She left when Ivar, my youngest brother, the one who was hiding in his room?”

“Yes, I’m still following,” Halfdan laughs.

“She left my father when Ivar was just a few years old. She met some guy, and one day she just packed her bags and left.” Bjorn shrugs.

“What about her sons?”

“She never cared much for them. When I was there, my father would be playing games with us, we’d go into the woods… he’d be spending every moment of his time with us. She was always on her phone, or up in their room, she never cared. But when she left, my father offered to share custody,” Bjorn explains. “But she only wanted to take Ivar with her.”

“Why?”

“Who knows? But my father wasn’t going to let her take him, not without a fight. When he told her that, she left. She never called again, never sent a birthday card to any of them, she just… she was gone, just like that,” Bjorn tells, and Halfdan sighs. “Until my father married Athelstan.”

“What happened?”

“She heard about it, and showed up the night before the wedding, trying to convince my dad not to marry him. I knew why she was there, so I kept Ivar away from them, but… he saw her storm out and leave. He is convinced she came back for him, not for my dad.”

“Did you tell him?”

“We tried to explain, but…” Bjorn shrugs. “He hates me, he blames me for it.”

“Poor kid,” Halfdan says, and Bjorn can’t help but smile. “To grow up without a mother, because one day she just decided to leave?”

“Just wait until you meet him, then decide if you still feel sorry for him.”

“He’s angry?”

“Angry, full of hate. He lashes out…”

“Wouldn’t you?” Halfdan asks. Bjorn just stares at him for a moment, before staring down at his plate, realising the food must have gone cold by now. “I’m sure he’s a good kid, deep down.”

“Well, he knows how to hide it well.”

* * *

“What are you two doing?” Ragnar asks, as he comes up to the cottage, and he finds his son and Halfdan carrying the king size bed outside. “Is something wrong with it? I thought…”

“It’s fine,” Halfdan quickly says, flashing a smile. “It’s great, actually. The cottage, it’s better than expected, it’s…”

“But you’re ripping it apart?” Ragnar asks, not letting Halfdan finish. “Did he put you up to this?”

“No, Mister Lothbrok, I…”

“Mister Lothbrok?” Ragnar laughs, making Halfdan blush. “What are you going to put in there?”

“I’m moving in,” Bjorn explains, but his father puts down the bags he has been holding in his arms up until now, and he looks at them with a confused look on his face. “We’ll be sharing the place.”

“I’m sorry, should we have asked you? I know this is your cottage, and…,” Halfdan begins, but Bjorn stops him.

“He doesn’t care. What’s in the bags?”

“I got you some things, to stock up the fridge… but wait, you are moving in?” Ragnar asks. “Didn’t you meet each other just this morning? Are you sure about this? Have you thought this through?”

“No,” Bjorn laughs. “But we’ll make it work. Won’t we?”

“Did he tell you how messy he is? That he never does the dishes, he doesn’t clean up after himself, or…?”

“That’s fine,” Halfdan quickly says.

“Are you trying to get him to change his mind?”

“I’m trying to warn him what he’s getting himself into.”

“Thanks, dad!” Bjorn rolls his eyes, before looking down at the king size bed. “So, do you still have those spare beds in the shed?”

“We do, but…”

“Great,” Bjorn says, and his father shakes his head, laughing.

“Shall I put these inside then?”

“Thank you, mister…”

“Ragnar, or I will take them with me again.”

“Sorry… Ragnar,” Halfdan says, a slight blush appearing on his face, and Bjorn can’t help but laugh at his shyness. It makes him wonder how he could ever work for his brother, but he knows not to ask.

“Do you need a hand with the beds?” Ragnar asks, before picking up the bags full of groceries. “They’re in the shed, but…”

“We’ll find them,” Bjorn interrupts him, and Ragnar knows when he is not needed, or wanted, so he takes the bags into the cottage, and starts putting away the groceries, while the young men carry the bed towards the shed. But when they open the door, they find one big mess, from an old couch, to the family’s bicycles, to three single beds somewhere hiding in the back.

“Is this stuff yours?”

“One of the beds is,” Bjorn explains. “I used to have my own room, but then they kept having children, so…”

“Please tell me they didn’t…,” Halfdan begins, and Bjorn can see the horrified look on his face.

“Oh, they didn’t make me sleep in here,” Bjorn laughs. “No! No, they put up a bed in Ubbe and Hvitserk’s room.”

“Have you always been close to your brothers?”

“Of course, they’re my brothers!” Bjorn says, but as the words leave his mouth, he can see the uncomfortable look on Halfdan’s face. He opens his mouth to ask him about it, but before he can get a chance to, Halfdan quickly heads into the shed.

“Let’s try and get through this mess, eh?”


	2. Chapter 2

“Getting used to the view yet?” Athelstan asks, as he walks up to Halfdan, who is sitting in the grass, staring out at the woods. “Mind if I join you?”

“Of course not, sit down.” Halfdan flashes him a small smile, before looking out at the woods again. “I don’t think you can ever get used a view like this.”

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Athelstan smiles. “When Alfred and I first moved here, I used to come out here too. Just wait until you see the sunrise.”

“Have you lived here long? Bjorn told me about your family, but… I’m sorry, I got a little confused sometimes, because…”

“There are so many of us?” Athelstan laughs.

“No!” Halfdan quickly says, an embarrassed look on his face. “It’s just that yesterday was a little overwhelming, and he told me so much that I…”

“Don’t worry,” Athelstan says, flashing a reassuring smile. “Ragnar told me how nervous you were.”

“I was.”

“We’re not so bad. So don’t worry if you don’t remember everything Bjorn tells you, or… just learn to relax a little,” Athelstan says, before looking out at the woods. “But to answer your question, I’m assuming Bjorn has told you Ragnar was married to Lagertha, before…”

“Yes,” Halfdan quickly says.

“I met him when they were still married, and we became really good friends.”

“So you knew Bjorn when he was just a little…”

“I’ve known him since he was born.” Athelstan smiles. “Yes, I ehm… I even used to babysit for them. But after they got divorced, and Ragnar got together with Aslaug, we started drifting apart.”

“Because of Aslaug?”

“Don’t tell Ragnar or the boys I told you, but… I hated her,” Athelstan admits, and Halfdan can’t help but smile. “Lagertha was strong, she was proud… but Aslaug? She just seemed insecure, and there was something dishonest about her.”

“Did you tell Ragnar? Is that why you drifted apart?”

“No,” Athelstan laughs. “Of course I didn’t tell him that. He was head over heels in love with her, so I decided to take a step back.”

“Were you…,” Halfdan begins, but then he hesitates, and he looks down at his hands.

“What?”

“It doesn’t matter, continue?”

“No, ask me. I’m used to living with five teenage boys, so I’m sure there’s not a question I haven’t heard before,” Athelstan laughs.

“Were you in love with him all along?” Halfdan asks, still a little hesitant to ask, nervous that he has crossed a line, that he has gotten too personal. But Athelstan just smiles, and he shrugs.

“I don’t know, I don’t think so. I was with my girlfriend, Alfred’s mother, for a few years, and I did love her. And I was genuinely happy for Ragnar when he was with Lagertha, and when Aslaug left him, and he called to tell me, I wasn’t happy, or relieved,” Athelstan admits.

“Then how…?”

“How did we end up married?”

“I’m sorry, I’m asking far too many questions, I’m…”

“You’re going to be living with us, well… you’re going to be living in our cottage.” Athelstan smiles. “So I’m glad you want to get to know us. That you won’t be a stranger to us.”

“I don’t want to cross any boundaries, or…”

“I’ll let you know if you are, and Ragnar and the boys definitely will let you know,” Athelstan laughs, before taking a deep breath, “But to get back to how I ended up here… After Aslaug left, Ragnar was left with four young children, so I offered to come help him out. At first I would drive back and forth between here and my apartment, but after a while we decided it’d be easier for me and Alfred to come and stay here.”

Halfdan can see the shy smile on Athelstan’s face, and he can tell that by the time he moved in here, things had changed. That they weren’t just friends anymore.

“And you never left?”

“And I never left.”

* * *

“What are you doing out here?” Bjorn asks, when he walks into the empty stables.

After he had gotten back from work, he had found the cottage empty, but he had walked past Halfdan’s car, so he knew he couldn’t have gone far. He himself had gotten lost in the woods before, and there is no reception out there, so he had decided to go look for him. But when he finds him in the stables, reading a book, he can’t help but feel a little stupid for worrying.

“Sorry, I thought… I should have asked before I went in here, I…,” Halfdan rambles, as he jumps up, but Bjorn stops him, and he shakes his head.

“No, it’s fine. This place hasn’t been used since my dad moved here. You can come here any time, but I thought…”

“What?”

“I thought you might have gotten lost in the woods,” Bjorn explains. “Your phone won’t work out there, so…”

“You were worried you’d have to pay the rent on your own?” Halfdan says, a smile forming on his lips.

“Exactly!”

“Thank you,” Halfdan laughs, and Bjorn shakes his head, laughing. “I will try to look out for myself, and I’ll remember that my phone will be of no use when I go out there.”

“Can I show you something?”

“Sure.”

“Follow me.”

Halfdan follows Bjorn out of the stables, and into the woods. Neither of them says a word, until they arrive at the clearing, and Bjorn turns to face Halfdan.

He still remembers when he had first discovered the clearing. He had stayed there for hours, just listening to the sound of the river, the birds in the trees. It had become his quiet place, and he had never even told his family about it.

“It’s…,” Halfdan begins, but then he gets a shy smile on his face.

“Beautiful, isn’t it? The last time I was here was…,” Bjorn begins, but then he realises he can’t even remember when he was last here. “It must have been at least ten years ago. But it has only gotten more beautiful. I was actually planning to propose here to my girlfriend, but then she found the ring, so I never got to bring her here,” Bjorn remembers, and Halfdan looks at him, a confused look on his face.

“You are married?”

“No, Torvi and I, we… we never got married. But I was married when I was eighteen,” Bjorn explains, and just remembering, just talking about it, it makes him feel like he is eighteen again, like he is back there again. Like his heart is being broken all over again.

“Yesterday you mentioned you moved out of your mother’s home, but…”

“I moved in with the girl I eventually married, Porunn” Bjorn explains. He can tell that Halfdan is about to open his mouth to ask a question, but he seems to change his mind, and he looks back at the river.

“How about a swim?”

“What?” Halfdan laughs. “In the river?”

“Sure, why not? I could do with a swim, after being in the gym all day,” Bjorn shrugs, as he is already kicking off his shoes, and ready to take his shirt off. But then he sees Halfdan’s face, and he can’t help but laugh. “What?”

“Nothing, it’s just that I’m…”

“You can’t swim?” Bjorn suggests, “I promise I won’t let you drown.”

“No, I…”

“Look, you can go back to the cottage, but I’m getting in,” Bjorn says, and without hesitating, he gets out of his clothes, and he gets into the river. The water is refreshing, and as he closes his eyes, for a moment he forgets about anything and everything. But when he opens his eyes again, he finds a nervous Halfdan, having turned around as he is getting out of his clothes.

Bjorn can’t help but smile to himself, because they have only met yesterday, but he can already tell that Halfdan’s life has been very different from his, that their upbringing couldn’t have been more different. Bjorn was always raised to be comfortable not only with himself, but with others, whereas Halfdan constantly seems nervous, uncomfortable, shy. Bjorn just wants to grab him, and shake him up. Make him relax. But he knows that it is just going to take some time. And perhaps a drink might help too.

Halfdan quickly gets into the water, but he is actively avoiding Bjorn’s eyes, a dark blush on his face.

“Have you always been this shy?”

“Not really…”

“Do you want me to back off?” Bjorn asks, but Halfdan shakes his head, and he flashes a small smile. “You can tell me, if I’m too…”

“No!” Halfdan quickly says. “I’m just new to all of this. I’ve grown up in my brother’s shadow, and I was always Harald’s little brother. He decided what I was going to say, what I was going to do… I’m not used to…”

“Being Halfdan?” Bjorn suggests. “But I know what guys like him are like, what they get up to. If you worked for him, or with him… what did you do when there was a fight, or…?”

“I told you, I was Harald’s little brother. The crazy one who would keep fighting, until my brother told me to stop. I’ve threatened people, I’ve…,” Halfdan admits, and Bjorn can see the shame not only written on his face, but it’s all over his body, the tension in his shoulders, the way his chest, his neck are flaring up. “I don’t want to be that guy. That’s who my brother is, but I’m not like him.”

“But now you have no idea who you are?” Bjorn asks, but Halfdan doesn’t answer, he just stares at him. “What? Am I not understanding what you are saying?”

“No, you are. I tried explaining it to my brother, but he just laughed. He told me I’d be back within a week, maybe a month.”

“I don’t think so.”

“No?”

“I don’t think my family will let you leave,” Bjorn laughs. “People don’t leave this place once they move here. You saw what happened with Athelstan.”

“Yeah, but…,” Halfdan begins, but when he realises that Bjorn is only kidding, he keeps quiet, and he flashes a shy smile.

Bjorn dips his head underwater, and when he comes up, he finds that Halfdan has swum away from him. He doesn’t follow him though, he just closes his eyes, and listens to the quiet of the water around him. It makes him feel like he is his younger self again, it almost makes him feel like he can start over.

* * *

It has been just over a week since Bjorn and Torvi have ended their relationship and he has moved out of their apartment. So far he hasn’t seen her at work, and he isn’t sure if she has been avoiding him, or if they have both just been busy with clients. But when he finally sees her, he quickly goes over to her, before she can slip away again.

“Bjorn!” Torvi says, an uncomfortable look on her face, and for a moment Bjorn wishes he hadn’t come up to her. Perhaps she had been avoiding him after all. He wouldn’t blame her if she had.

“How have you been? You look…”

“Tired?” Torvi suggests, and Bjorn sighs.

“You do. I’m so sorry.”

“I’ve been working hard. I’m not tired because you left, Bjorn,” Torvi says, but when she hears footsteps, she jumps up. Bjorn notices how nervous she is, which isn’t like her, at all.

“What’s going on?”

“Nothing. I’m fine,” Torvi says, and before Bjorn can ask again, she changes the subject. “Did you move into your father’s cottage?”

“I did. Torvi, I…”

“I’ve got to get to work,” Torvi quickly says, “It was good seeing you.”

“Wait, how about you come over to mine later? We can have a drink, we…”

“I can’t.”

“I thought you said you still wanted us to be friends?”

“I do, but I can’t. Not today. I’m going out for drinks with a friend later,” Torvi says, but Bjorn can see the guilt in her eyes. He wonders if she is simply rejecting his invitation, or if she is perhaps going out on a date. Just the thought of her going out on a date makes him feel jealous, even though he knows he has no right to. But knowing that she is able to move on so quickly, it hurts. He can’t deny that. But then again, perhaps she really is just going out with a friend.

“Next time then?”

“Sure.”

* * *

“You still remember us then?” Hvitserk asks, when Bjorn walks into the villa that night. He had gone home to the cottage after work, expecting to find Halfdan in the kitchen, cooking dinner, like every night. But instead, he had found a note on the table, letting him know that Halfdan was meeting his brother, and he wouldn’t be home until later that night. So Bjorn had taken a quick shower, and he had gotten changed, before going to the villa.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been…”

“Where’s Halfdan?” Ragnar asks, “Have you left him out there on his own?”

“He’s meeting his brother tonight.”

“Why do you think he’s here?” Ivar says, not even looking up from his phone. “His boyfriend isn’t cooking for him, so he’s only here for the…”

“If you want me to go, I’ll go,” Bjorn says, ready to turn and leave, but his father stops him.

“No one wants you here,” Ivar spits out, “Go back to the cottage, to your…”

“That’s enough. Bjorn, sit down. Ignore your brother, it’s good to have you here again,” Ragnar says, flashing a reassuring smile. “How have things been? With Halfdan?”

“It’s fine, he’s a nice guy.”

“How did you get him to let you live there?” Sigurd asks. “How much did you pay him?”

“Nothing! Well, half the rent, I suppose. But he suggested it.”

“But you had never met before, right?” Alfred asks, and Bjorn is almost starting to regret coming here. He had been excited to spend time with his family again, but this is starting to feel like an interrogation, and being on his own at the cottage doesn’t seem so bad now.

“I wouldn’t be able to live with a stranger. What if he’s some kind of…”

“He isn’t,” Bjorn states, not even trying to hide how irritated he is getting, before nudging his head into the direction of the empty chair. “Are we not waiting for Ubbe?”

“He’s out tonight,” Athelstan says, as he and Ragnar put the food on the table, before sitting down. The teenagers all throw themselves onto the food as though they haven’t eaten in weeks, and Bjorn can’t help but smile to himself, realising that nothing has changed. But when his father puts a hand on his arm, he looks up, and he finds Ragnar staring at him with a loving, fatherly look on his face.

“It’s good to have you home again, Bjorn.”

“Thanks, dad.”

* * *

Bjorn is already in bed that night when he hears Halfdan coming home, but he is still awake, still thinking about Torvi, about their relationship, about what he had told her last week. About whether he should tell his family, or if he should wait. If waiting will only make it feel like a secret, a burden. The thoughts are racing through his mind, and it makes him feel like getting up and going out for a run. But it’s long after midnight, and he has to get up early for work. So instead, he keeps quiet, and he listens, as Halfdan takes off his jacket and shoes, before he comes upstairs, and he goes into the bathroom.

Bjorn catches himself smiling, as he listens to the other man getting ready for bed, and when the bathroom door opens, and Halfdan goes over to his bed, he opens his eyes, and he watches him. For just a split second, he catches himself checking out his body, something stirring deep inside of him which he hasn’t felt for a long time.

“I thought you were asleep,” Halfdan says, when he finds Bjorn watching him, and Bjorn feels caught out, but he just flashes a smile, not knowing what else to say, to do. “I’m sorry I didn’t prepare dinner, but my brother called, and he…”

“How was it? Seeing your brother again?”

“I’m not sure,” Halfdan admits. “He is still waiting for me to change my mind. But I told him about this place, about…,” he begins, but then he pretends to yawn, and Bjorn can tell that he had been meaning to say something, but he had changed his mind at the last second.

“Will you start looking for other work?”

“I will have to, or I won’t be able to pay the rent. But I have no idea what I can do. I only ever…”

“Yeah,” Bjorn quickly says, knowing exactly what it is that Halfdan used to do. “I’ll ask around at the gym for you too. Maybe one of my clients…”

“Thank you,” Halfdan says, and by the look on his face Bjorn can tell how grateful he is. How he isn’t used to someone helping him out. That he isn’t used to having a friend.

“I was thinking, I used to go for a run before work every morning, but since I moved here I have kind of… I haven’t been looking after myself,” Bjorn admits. “But I want to start running again, so I was thinking, how about you join me?”

“I haven’t gone for a run since I was… fifteen?” Halfdan laughs. “I won’t be able to keep up with you.”

“I’ll go easy on you. I promise.”

“Sure, but I am telling you, Bjorn, I…,” Halfdan begins, but when he sees the smile on Bjorn’s face growing bigger, he stops himself, a dark blush on his face. “What?”

“Nothing,” Bjorn laughs, because how can he explain that simply hearing the other man say his name made his insides feel like he was on a rollercoaster? “So we’re on for tomorrow morning?”

“Sure. Goodnight, Bjorn.”

“Goodnight, Halfdan.”

* * *

Bjorn is already downstairs, having a coffee, when he hears Halfdan stumbling down the stairs, still half-asleep.

“I’m not late for our run, am I?”

“No, don’t worry,” Bjorn laughs.

“Why didn’t you wake me up?” Halfdan asks, but Bjorn just shrugs, not able to tell him that he had indeed gone over to wake him up, but when he had stood there, staring down at him, he just hadn’t been able to do it. He had looked so peaceful, and Bjorn had found him so beautiful in that moment, he just hadn’t been able to wake him from his dreams.

“If you get dressed, I’ll make you a coffee.”

* * *

“I…,” Halfdan begins, but he is out of breath, and the rest of his sentence is lost in a gasp for air. So Bjorn slows his pace, and he leads him over to the clearing where they had gone for a swim only days before.

“Are you okay?”

“No,” Halfdan laughs, as he sits down on the ground, still struggling to catch his breath. “I told you… I don’t run… I don’t work… out.”

Bjorn looks at him, and he raises an eyebrow, knowing exactly what is hiding underneath those clothes, knowing just how fit he is, but he keeps quiet, and he just shakes his head, smiling to himself.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“What happened?” Halfdan asks, “with Porunn?”

“We were too young,” Bjorn shrugs, but he knows that it isn’t fair to lie to the other man. “I met her, and I fell in love… we got married…”

“Sorry if it’s none of my business, but you look different when you talk about her,” Halfdan says, and Bjorn nods, before looking out at the river. “You look hurt.”

“I married her because she was pregnant,” Bjorn admits.

“You’re a father?”

“I was. She had a daughter, and for two years I helped her raise her, but…” Bjorn just shakes his head, still remembering how he had felt when he had found out that Porunn was pregnant, when the little girl was born. When he had found out that the little girl wasn’t his.

“What happened to her?” Halfdan asks, and Bjorn can hear that he is hesitant to ask, not sure if he wants to hear the rest.

“I found out Porunn had been cheating,” Bjorn shrugs. “Her daughter wasn’t mine… I was angry, hurt, they left, and that was that.”

“But you…”

“What?”

“That was your daughter,” Halfdan says. “You raised her for two years, you had been there for her since she was born, she…”

“Wasn’t mine, Halfdan,” Bjorn snaps, but he can feel the lump in his throat growing. “She wasn’t mine.”

Halfdan puts his hand on Bjorn’s lower back, and just feeling him trying to comfort him, showing him support, it brings tears to Bjorn’s eyes. Because even after all these years, it still hurts more than he can put into words. And because it’s been so long, his family doesn’t talk about it anymore. They tried to at first, but Bjorn would tell them that it didn’t matter, he told them he had moved on, so they had given up talking about it. He had bottled up his pain, and no one knows that he is still struggling with losing his daughter. Having someone to talk to about it, after all these years, having someone comforting him, it makes him feel lighter.

“I miss her,” he whispers, his voice breaking, as Halfdan’s hand slides up to his shoulder. “I often wonder where she is, what she’s like… what does she look like?”

“Have you tried to find her?”

“No. I don’t want to tear her life up,” Bjorn says. “I was only in her life for two years, so she doesn’t even know who I am. If I were to show up now, it would only confuse her. I don’t want to do that to her. I want her to be happy, Halfdan. But I just miss her so much.”

“She was your daughter,” Halfdan whispers, leaning his head against the other man’s shoulder. “Blood or not.”

“The day she was born was the happiest day of my life,” Bjorn admits, speaking the words for the first time in his life. “I was happy with Porunn, with her. When I had a family. And I had only been divorced for a few weeks when I met Torvi. I loved her, but…”

“Is that why you ended your relationship? You weren’t happy?”

Bjorn is ready to tell Halfdan the reason why his and Torvi’s relationship hadn’t worked, why it could never work. But he feels Halfdan’s grip tightening on his shoulder, and it all of the sudden hits him just how close they are, how he can feel the other man’s breath on his neck. He remembers how he had checked him out not only last night, but this morning during their run. And a fear washes over him, because what if Halfdan won’t accept him if he tells him he is gay? Sure, Halfdan seems to be fine with Ragnar and Athelstan being married, but he isn’t sharing a cottage with them, a bedroom. Bjorn knows he can’t lose Halfdan, so in a split-second, he decides to keep the real reason to himself, and he nods.

“I guess it was,” he says, feeling like he has just betrayed not only himself, but Halfdan, by lying to him. But the thought of losing him, it just fills him with anxiety. “She deserves to be with someone who can give her more than I can.”

“And you deserve to be happy.”

“Yeah…”

“You do,” Halfdan reassures him. “You didn’t leave your daughter.”

“I never said…”

“But you’re thinking it. You feel like you have abandoned her,” Halfdan says, and Bjorn feels like someone has kicked him in the gut. He had never spoken those words to anyone, he hadn’t even fully admitted to feeling it himself. To have Halfdan saying those words to him, it makes him feel like this man, this virtual stranger, can see right through him, and he isn’t sure if he likes it anymore. If he wants to run and get away from him. Or if he is feeling the safest and most comfortable he has felt in years.

“I loved her, I would have done anything for her, she…”

“I know, Bjorn,” Halfdan says, flashing a small, shy smile. “And you are a good man for choosing her happiness over yours.”

“I’m not sure if I am.”

A long silence follows, and Halfdan takes his hand away from Bjorn’s back, leaving him feeling cold, like he has lost some kind of support. But he can still feel the heat radiating from Halfdan’s body as he is sitting next to him, and just knowing that he is still with him, that he hasn’t left him, after what he has just told him, it makes him reach out and takes Halfdan’s hand in his. He half expects Halfdan to get up and run, but instead, Halfdan looks down at their hands, and he flashes a small smile.

“All I want is to go out and see more of the world,” Halfdan admits. “I have never had what you had, a family… a wife. All I had was my brother and his… _work_.”

“Then why don’t you do it? Just pack your things and leave?”

“I can’t afford it,” Halfdan shrugs, still staring down at their hands. “It’s fine, at least I got out of that world. That’s something.”

“Perhaps one day it will happen. You never know what life has in store for you.”

“Perhaps.” Halfdan says, before patting Bjorn’s hand, and freeing his hand from his grip. He gets up, takes a deep breath, and he flashes a determined smile. “Come on, let’s get back. You can’t be late for work.”

* * *

Bjorn has been meaning to ask Torvi out for a drink after work all week, after she had rejected his offer last week, but every time he had tried to catch up with her, she had already left work. But just as he is about to get his things to go home, he notices her making her way to the back door. So he follows her, but just as he is about to catch up to her, he notices Ubbe standing by the door, waiting for her. For a split second he thinks his brother is waiting for him, but as he watches Torvi, he realises that Ubbe is waiting for her. Because he kisses her on the cheek, and he wraps his arms around her, holding her for the longest time, before taking her hand, and leading her away from the building.

Bjorn is left standing there, confused, angry, jealous. But then he turns, and he goes to grab his things, before going home. He tries to tell himself that nothing is going on, but all the way home he can feel his anger building up, and by the time he reaches the villa, he is ready to explode. So he gets out of the car, and he storms inside.

“What are…,” Athelstan begins, but when he sees Bjorn’s face, he knows not to ask. He nudges Ragnar in the arm, who turns, and when he sees his son, he sighs.

“What happened?”

“Did you know?”

“Know what?” Ragnar asks, a confused look on his face.

“About Ubbe and Torvi?” Bjorn asks, and when he sees the guilty look on his father’s face, he struggles not to explode with rage right then and there. “You knew? How long has this been going on?”

“Nothing is going on, Bjorn,” Ragnar tries, but it doesn’t matter, because Bjorn is not even hearing him right now. “You really should talk to your brother about this, he will explain to you what…”

“He’s just a kid!”

“He is nineteen,” Ragnar says. “Don’t you dare make this out to be something that it’s not. Even is something was going on between them, Torvi would not be doing anything wrong, and you know it!” Ragnar spits out, and Bjorn feels ashamed when he sees the anger in his father’s eyes. “Talk to your brother, Bjorn.”

Bjorn storms out, and as he makes his way over to the cottage, he is starting to wonder if something is indeed going on between his brother and Torvi. And if they like each other, how long has it been going on? Was Torvi cheating on him? Was that why she didn’t fight him when he ended their relationship? But he knows that she couldn’t have fought him, because what would have been the point? He knows he isn’t being fair on either Torvi or Ubbe, but seeing them together hurt, and he needs to know what’s going on.

“I made a…,” Halfdan begins, but when Bjorn slams the door shut behind him, he jumps up. “We need that door!”

“Don’t. Not today!”

“What’s wrong? What happened?” Halfdan asks, and he comes up to Bjorn, a worried look on his face. “Did something happen at work?”

“It doesn’t matter, Halfdan. Just… not today.”

“Do you want to be alone?”

“Yes. No. I don’t know, okay?” Bjorn admits, and he pushes past him, and sits down on the couch. Halfdan joins him, and he hesitates, before putting a hand on his knee, and giving it a squeeze, just to let him know that he is there for him, in case he does want to talk.

“It’s Torvi.”

“What happened?”

“I saw her, with Ubbe.”

“You mean…?”

“I don’t know,” Bjorn shrugs. “He kissed her cheek, they hugged… I don’t know.”

“And if they are?” Halfdan asks.

“He’s my brother, Halfdan. And he’s almost ten years younger than she is! That’s…”

“But what if they like each other? What if they make each other happy?” Halfdan asks, and for a moment, Bjorn is sick and tired of Halfdan being so good, so accepting. He wants him to be angry with him, he wants him to be full of hate. To say the most horrible things about Ubbe and Torvi. But when Bjorn looks up at Halfdan, he can’t help but smile.

“Of course I want them to be happy,” he says, “But…”

“You’re jealous?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you want to get back with Torvi?”

“No!” Bjorn quickly says, and he sighs. “That can never happen, not after I…”

“What?” Halfdan asks. “What did you do? You didn’t cheat on her, did you?”

“No, I didn’t. But we didn’t just end things because I wasn’t happy, or because things weren’t working out,” Bjorn admits, knowing that this is the moment to tell Halfdan the truth. But still, to say the words, to have to speak them out loud again, it makes his heart feel like it is beating out of his chest. He had only ever spoken the words to Lagertha and to Torvi. Lagertha had been nothing but accepting, but Bjorn can still see the hurt look on Torvi’s face, and he has no idea what Halfdan’s reaction will be like when he tells him.

“I ehm… I actually told her that I'm gay, that’s why we couldn’t be together anymore,” he says, and he stares down at his hands, too scared to see Halfdan’s reaction. But when there is none, he looks up, only to find a small, shy smile on the other man’s face.

“What?”

“You’re gay?”

“Yes,” Bjorn says, and he feels like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders now that he isn’t keeping it from Halfdan anymore. But still, he isn’t sure what his reaction is. Not really. “That is why I couldn’t be with her anymore.”

“Yes, I can see why that would be a problem,” Halfdan says, that small, shy smile still on his face. But when he sees the hurt look on Bjorn’s face, he laughs. “For a girlfriend, I mean.”

“Oh…”

“So you are jealous of Torvi being with someone else, even though you are the one who ended things, because you…”

“Because I’m gay,” Bjorn says. “When you put it like that…”

“Can’t you just try and be happy for them? If they are together. Perhaps your brother is just being a friend to her. Her boyfriend _did_ just dump her.”

“Yeah…”

“Come on, let’s have dinner before it gets cold.”


	3. Chapter 3

Bjorn is about to go to bed that night, when there is a knock on the door. He quickly goes to open the door, not wanting whoever is there to knock again, in case they wake Halfdan up. He expects to find Ragnar there, to check on him after he had been upset earlier that night, but Ubbe is standing there, a nervous look on his face.

“Dad told me you…,” he begins, but Bjorn doesn’t even give him a chance to finish.

“How long?”

“What?”

“How long has it been going on?”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Ubbe asks. “I sent Torvi a text, after you dumped her, to ask her if she was okay.”

“I saw you, Ubbe!”

“You saw what?” Ubbe asks, getting more than just a little irritated. “Do you have any idea how upset she’s been?”

“She…”

“I have been nothing but a friend to her, Bjorn! But even if we were dating, you…”

“You don’t go out with your brother’s girlfriend,” Bjorn spits out, but the second the words leave his mouth, he realises that he sounds ridiculous. But the thought of Torvi and Ubbe together, it stirs something inside of him, and he just can’t stop himself. “You think she cares about you?”

“I know you’re upset because you love her, but fuck you, Bjorn!” Ubbe spits out, trying to stay calm, but Bjorn can see that he is getting to him. He almost wishes that he would get angry, that they would get into a fight. “Did you even hear what I just said?”

“That…”

“Torvi is upset,” Ubbe says. “You have been so stuck in your own head, that you have no idea what she is going through. So don’t you dare…,” he goes on, the anger building up with every word, but then he stops himself, and he sighs. “Just don’t, Bjorn. I am not your enemy, and you know it.”

Bjorn is about to open his mouth and tell his little brother off, but he can hear the floorboards upstairs creaking, and he knows that his bickering with his brother, his arguing, in which he deep down knows he is in the wrong, has woken Halfdan up. He feels guilty, and as he looks up at the ceiling, he feels ashamed of himself. The thought of Halfdan having heard him being unfair, petty, it makes him want to apologise to Ubbe, but he can’t do it. He just can’t.

“Just go home, Ubbe.”

“Sure,” Ubbe says, and without saying another word, he turns and leaves. Bjorn closes the door, and before he has even turned around, he can hear Halfdan coming down the stairs.

“I’m sorry, I…”

“You were out of order. You know that, don’t you?” Halfdan asks, as he sits down on the couch. Bjorn joins him, but he can’t get himself to apologise, he is too embarrassed, too confused. He knows he has no right to be jealous, or angry, but he just can’t help himself.

“Are you still in love with her?”

“No,” Bjorn admits, the word having left his mouth before he could even think about it. “I mean…”

“Why are you so angry?” Halfdan asks. “You heard him, didn’t you? She is upset, and she needs someone to be there for her. If he can be that person, then why…”

“Because I’m angry with myself,” Bjorn realises. “Because I did this to her.”

“She just needs time.”

“She is my best friend, Halfdan. She has been avoiding me, she is jumpy…,” Bjorn sighs. “If I had just kept my mouth shut…”

“You think she’s upset because you’re gay?” Halfdan asks, but Bjorn can’t even get himself to answer his question. He still remembers how hurt Torvi had looked when he had come out to her, and knowing that she is still upset now, it makes him feel even guiltier than he had already been feeling before. “She isn’t upset because you came out to her, Bjorn.”

“But…”

“She is scared that what you had all those years wasn’t real,” Halfdan explains. “That you have lied to her, that…”

“I never lied to her. I didn’t know!”

“Did you sit her down and tell her that?”

“No, but…”

“Tell her, reassure her that what you had was real,” Halfdan says, and only now does Bjorn see the dark blush on the other man’s face. He realises that he is nervous about interfering in the situation, that he isn’t used to having these kinds of conversations. But that only makes Bjorn appreciate this more.

“Thank you, for this. It’s good to have someone to talk to,” Bjorn admits, but Halfdan just flashes a small smile before getting up from the couch.

“Can I go back to bed now?”

“Yes. I’m sorry, I…”

“Talk to her, and stop feeling guilty. You have done nothing wrong. Except for arguing with your brother,” Halfdan says, “but I’m sure he’ll forgive you for being a…”

“A what?” Bjorn laughs.

“Goodnight, Bjorn.”

“Goodnight, Halfdan.”

* * *

Bjorn and Halfdan have been going for a run every day, but as they reach the clearing, Halfdan is still struggling to catch his breath, and Bjorn can’t help but laugh as he watches him crash down onto the ground. Bjorn joins him, and he watches him, as he lies down and closes his eyes. Bjorn catches himself checking out his arms, his chest, he almost reaches out to brush the hair away from his sweaty forehead. But he resists the urge, and he lies down on his back, trying to think about anything, everything but the man lying next to him.

“I’ve been wondering…”

“What?”

“You hear these things,” Halfdan begins. “About personal trainers and their clients…”

“What things?” Bjorn laughs.

“You know.”

“What are you saying, huh?”

“Have you ever been tempted to go there?” Halfdan asks, and Bjorn turns his head, only to find Halfdan looking at him, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Once,” Bjorn admits. “but this was years ago.”

“What happened?”

“Nothing.” Bjorn smiles to himself, as he thinks back to it. “There was some flirting, but when it came to it, I couldn’t do it. I was with Torvi, and I couldn’t cheat on her.”

“And if you hadn’t been with Torvi?”

“I liked him, so…”

“Him?” Halfdan asks, and Bjorn looks at him. “I thought you were… you said you didn’t know you were gay, so I thought…”

“I didn’t,” Bjorn laughs. “But you’d be surprised what goes on between guys at the gym. It’s not… it’s just what happens.”

“Right…”

Bjorn closes his eyes, and as he hears the peaceful sounds of the water streaming in the river, he feels a calmth washing over him. Only last night, he had been so angry with Ubbe, with Torvi, himself. He had spent most of the night thinking about things, about his relationship with Torvi, about what Ubbe had told him, about what Halfdan had told him. He had come out here, still feeling angry, frustrated. But as he is lying here, with Halfdan by his side, he just feels calm.

It has only been a matter of weeks since he has met Halfdan, and he knows that they are only just starting to get to know each other. But there is something about this man, about this stranger, that makes him feel safe. Makes him feel like they have known each other all their lives.

“What about you?” he asks, not ready to let this conversation die down just yet.

“What about me?”

“Have you ever been with a man?” he asks, feeling brave, mischievous. Perhaps it’s because of a lack of sleep, perhaps because of the mischievous glint he had seen in Halfdan’s eyes before. Perhaps it is making him feel like he can take things just that little step further.

“No,” Halfdan laughs, but Bjorn can tell that there is something hiding behind the laughter. “My brother would have beaten the life out of me.”

“Really?”

“I think so,” Halfdan admits, and Bjorn sits up. He looks down on the other man, and there is still a smile on Halfdan’s face, but it is so obviously there to hide hurt, to hide pain, that it hurts him to see it.

“I am so sorry, Halfdan.”

The smile leaves Halfdan’s face, and for just a moment he lets Bjorn see behind the mask. But then he smiles again, and Bjorn can tell that the moment has passed.

“We should go out sometime,” he suggests, as he pats Halfdan’s knee. “No more thinking about what your brother would do, no more…”

“Girlfriend?”

“Yeah… I’m still getting used to it,” Bjorn admits.

“You were with her for a long time. It’s going to take time. But talk to her, Bjorn.”

“I will.”

* * *

Bjorn has only just entered the gym when he is being slammed into a wall. He isn’t even sure what is happening, or why, but when he composes himself, he finds Torvi standing in front of him, looking like she is ready to explode.

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

“I…”

“He is my friend, Bjorn!” Torvi spits out, her eyes filled with anger, but also hurt. “He has been there for me, when I needed someone.”

“I know,” Bjorn manages to bring out, and he nervously looks around him, realising their colleagues and clients are starting to watch them. “Can we please take this somewhere else?”

“Fine!”

Bjorn leads Torvi out of the building, away from prying eyes, but it almost makes it worse.

“I am sorry. Ubbe told me you’re upset, and I…”

“Did he tell you why?”

“No, but I am sorry, okay?” Bjorn says. “I am so sorry for hurting you.”

“I don’t care that you are gay,” Torvi says, keeping her voice down. “I know that that’s who you are, so…”

“You know that I have never lied to you, don’t you? I have never cheated on you, and I loved you,” Bjorn tries, wanting to get the words out as quickly as possible, before his ex can get angry with him again. “I still love you, but…”

“I know, Bjorn.”

“Do you?” Bjorn asks, but Torvi just sighs. “I am so sorry for wasting so many years of your life, Torvi.”

“That is not… We were good together,” Torvi says, as she grabs Bjorn’s hand. “I don’t regret it, and I’m not angry with you.”

“Then why…”

“Am I upset? I am hurting, Bjorn,” Torvi admits. “Just give me some time.”

“But I love you.”

“I know.”

“And I’m glad my brother has been there for you,” Bjorn admits, trying to ignore the jealousy which he is still feeling. “But seeing you together…”

“Nothing happened between us.”

“Do you like him?”

“Don’t do this, Bjorn!” Torvi warns him, as she lets go of his hand, getting irritated again. “We are not together anymore, so you don’t get to…”

“I just want to know.”

“Don’t. Not now, okay?”

Bjorn knows that there is something she is keeping from him, but he knows not to ask any further. So he wraps his arms around her, and he kisses the top of her head.

“I love you.”

“Just give me time, Bjorn. Please.”

* * *

When Bjorn goes into the villa that night, he finds Ubbe, Hvitserk and Alfred on the couch together, watching a movie. He almost feels guilty for interrupting, and when his father walks into the room, and sees him, he gets a worried look on his face.

“No fighting today, I hope?”

“No. I ehm… Ubbe, have you got a minute?” Bjorn asks, but his brother just shrugs. “Come on, man.”

“What do you want?”

“Can we do this outside?”

“Fine,” Ubbe sighs, and he gets up and follows his brother out of the villa, an uninterested look on his face. “What is it now, Bjorn? I’m tired, and I really don’t want to do this right now, so…”

“I’m sorry, about what I said. I know Torvi cares about you, and I know you’ve been a good friend to her.”

“Did you talk to her?”

“I did.”

“What did she tell you?” Ubbe asks. “Did she tell you that nothing is going on between us?”

“I know you like her,” Bjorn says, only when the words have left his mouth, fully admitting to himself that he has known it since the moment he had seen them together. He had seen it in their hug, in the way they had looked at each other. “I’m glad she has you, man.”

“Did she tell you why I’ve been there to pick her up from work every day?”

“Because you…”

“You know Erlendur? That client of hers who fancied her?” Ubbe asks, but Bjorn just shrugs, not sure what he has to do with anything. “He has been harassing her. He has been sending her texts, and when he’s at the gym, he keeps following her around… She is scared, Bjorn.”

“That’s why she’s been different,” Bjorn realises, and he sighs. “I thought it was because…”

“You dumping her has hurt her, but she’s a tough girl, you know that,” Ubbe says, a smile on his face which only confirms it for Bjorn that he has feelings for Torvi. But hearing this, knowing that someone has been harassing Torvi, and he hasn’t noticed it, even though it has been happening right under his nose, it makes him feel sick to his stomach. “But this has shaken her up. So I pick her up, and I make sure she gets home safe. And sometimes I stay, we hang out…”

“Thank you, for looking after her.”

“I care about her, Bjorn.”

“I know.”

“Even if…,” Ubbe begins, a nervous look on his face, but then he takes a deep breath, and he continues. “if this becomes something more, I want you to know that she’s not just some girl to me.”

“You know I will come and find you if you hurt her,” Bjorn says, trying to fake a smile, but he can’t deny that this is still too much, too soon. Even if he knows he has no right to be jealous. Not anymore.

“I know,” Ubbe says. “But I’m more scared of what she would do to me.”

“You should be.”

“She ehm… we’ve been talking a lot.”

“She told you?” Bjorn asks, before looking over his shoulder to make sure the rest of his family is still inside. “Why we ended our relationship?”

“She did,” Ubbe admits. “She was upset, and she knows she shouldn’t have told me, but…”

“It’s fine. Just… do all them know?” Bjorn asks, his heart starting to beat faster. He knows that Ubbe tells Hvitserk everything, and if Hvitserk knows, it’s only a matter of time before the rest of his family knows.

“I haven’t told anyone, Bjorn. It’s not my place to tell them. But you know they won’t care, don’t you?”

“I know, but I’m just not ready,” Bjorn admits.

“Does dad know?”

“No, I only told my mum, then Torvi… Halfdan knows… now you…” Bjorn can hear his voice starting to shake with nerves, and Ubbe seems to notice it as well, because he wraps his arms around his brother, and he gives him a big hug.

“I love you, brother,” he says, and Bjorn can’t even begin to explain how relieved he feels. Not only to have their argument resolved, but to have his brother know, to still have him say ‘I love you’.

“So, you and this Halfdan guy…?” Ubbe asks, as he lets go of Bjorn, a teasing smile on his face. “What’s going on there?”

“Nothing!”

“And they tell me I’m a bad liar!”

* * *

“Do you have time for a cup of tea?” Athelstan asks, as he comes over to Halfdan, who is just getting out of his car.

“Of course.” Halfdan flashes a smile, trying to hide how tired he is. How defeated, after today.

“How was your day?” Athelstan asks, as he leads Halfdan back to the villa. “You look tired.”

“I’ve been looking for work. I had another interview today, but…”

“No success?”

“I quit school, I have no job experience… no one is going to hire me,” Halfdan sighs, and Athelstan can see how embarrassed he is.

“I can ask Ragnar if they’ve got any jobs going at the pub?” he suggests, but the young man just flashes a grateful smile as he sits down at the kitchen table. “I’m sure you’ll find something.”

“I hope so. I don’t want to have to leave this place.”

“We’ll figure something out. Don’t worry,” Athelstan reassures him. “We’re not just going to put you out on the street.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…”

“I know you’re not asking for anything, Halfdan. But you’re our friend, and we’ll figure it out, okay?” Athelstan says, as he flashes a reassuring smile, before turning to prepare them both a cup of tea. “So, how has it been, living with Bjorn?”

“It’s nice. I have never actually lived with anyone, other than my family, so I wasn’t sure how I was going to get used to having someone around all the time. But it’s actually really nice to have someone to hang out with, to talk to... you know?”

“I am glad the two of you have become such good friends,” Athelstan says, as he turns to face Halfdan. “As I’m sure you know, Bjorn has just come out of a relationship, so he sure could do with a friend.”

“I know.”

“And Ragnar told me you were in a rush to move?” Athelstan asks, a little hesitant. “Were you running away from someone, or…?”

“Just another life.” Halfdan shrugs, but Athelstan can see that there is more to it than that.

“A partner?”

“No, family,” Halfdan admits. “My brother, actually. I used to work for him.”

“What kind of work did you do?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“But you had to run away from him?” Athelstan asks, and Halfdan sighs, fully aware that this man, who has been nothing but kind to him, and open and honest, is now only getting part of the story, a wrong picture. But Halfdan can’t tell him who his brother is, what he used to do for a living, because he is too ashamed. Too scared that Athelstan would tell Ragnar, that they would kick him to the curb, not wanting him anywhere near their family.

“It’s a long story.”

“Well, like I said, I am glad you and Bjorn have become friends. And you are always welcome here, you know that, don’t you?” Athelstan asks. “So come join us for dinner some time. We would love to get to know you better.”

“Sure, I’d love to,” Halfdan says, but the truth is that he can’t stop thinking about what the family would do if they knew of the things he has done in the past. Of the people he has hurt.

* * *

“Are you sure about this?” Halfdan asks, as Bjorn is about to get out of the car. “I can just go back home, and come and pick you up later.”

“Halfdan!”

“Does Torvi even know I’m coming?”

“I told her, so come on,” Bjorn laughs, before getting out of the car. Halfdan takes a deep breath, and when he gets out of the car, he considers making a run for it. But he knows he can’t, so he follows Bjorn into Lagertha and Ragnar’s pub, which is already overly crowded.

Bjorn can see the anxiety written all over Halfdan’s face, and he can see how tense his shoulders are, so he puts a hand on his back, as he leads him over to the bar, where Lagertha is just serving someone, not noticing her son yet. But when she finally notices him, she gets the biggest smile on her face. She comes over to them, and she pulls her son in for a big hug.

“Did you grow even taller than last time?” she asks, before kissing his cheek, ignoring customers who are trying to get her attention. “You look great, Bjorn! How are… wait, I know you!” she says, when she notices Halfdan.

For a moment, Bjorn assumes she has seen Halfdan at the pub before. After all, Ragnar had met him at the pub as well. But when he sees the smile leaving his mother’s face, and he sees the anger in her eyes, he knows that her recognising him is not a good thing.

“You! What are you doing here? I told you…!”

“What is going on?” Bjorn asks, a confused look on his face. “How do you know him?”

“This is…?” Lagertha asks. “This is who you are living with? Didn’t he tell you who he is?”

“I should go,” Halfdan says, tears now forming in his eyes. He turns to leave, but Bjorn grabs his arm, making sure he won’t go anywhere. “Please, Bjorn.”

“His brother tried to take my pub!”

“His… he is not his brother!” Bjorn spits out, Lagertha looking taken aback for a moment, but then she looks at Halfdan, who is avoiding her eyes, too ashamed to face her. “He is different, mum.”

“You don’t even know him, Bjorn.”

“I do, and I am telling you,” Bjorn says, his hand still wrapped tightly around Halfdan’s arm. “Halfdan isn’t like his brother. He got out of that life, away from his brother. That is why he moved into the cottage,” Bjorn explains, as his mother looks back at him. “He is a good man.”

“You don’t know what that family is capable of, Bjorn.”

“I do. But I trust him.”

Lagertha sighs, but then she looks back at Halfdan, who is still trying to fight his tears.

“If you do anything to hurt my family…”

“I won’t.”

“Go on, sit down,” Lagertha sighs, before turning around and going back over to the bar. The two young men sit down at a table, Bjorn finally letting go of Halfdan’s arm. But when he sees that he is shaking, he quickly puts a hand on his back.

“I’m sorry, if I had known…”

“No, I am sorry,” Halfdan says, his voice small, broken. “Bjorn, I… you have no idea of some of things I have done, I…”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It does. Your mum hates me for it.”

“That’s just my mum,” Bjorn says, flashing a small smile. “She’ll get over it.”

Halfdan opens his mouth to say something, but when Bjorn gets a nervous smile on his face, he turns to look over his shoulder, only to find Torvi coming up to them, looking just as nervous.

Bjorn had asked her out for a drink to catch up several times, but since the Ubbe situation it hadn’t come up anymore, until this afternoon, when she had suggested they’d go to the pub. It had been Torvi’s suggestion to bring Halfdan, so she could finally meet him, because she was curious to see who Bjorn was living with now. But after Ubbe’s teasing, Bjorn knows that there is probably more to Torvi now all of the sudden wanting to meet him.

“You must be Halfdan!” Torvi says, and Halfdan gets up, trying to hide that he is still shaken up from meeting Lagertha earlier. But when Bjorn’s ex gives him a big hug, it does comfort him, and it brings a genuine smile to his face.

“What can I get you to drink?” he asks, wanting to give the two a moment alone, but when he sees Bjorn raising an eyebrow, he feels like he has just messed up. “What?”

“You know that my mum is standing behind the bar, don’t you?”

“Oh… I can… it’s fine,” Halfdan stutters, and Bjorn can’t help but laugh. Still, he and Torvi let him go over to the bar, and they turn to face each other.

“I’m so sorry I’m late, Ubbe…”

“Did he drop you off? Why didn’t he come with you?” Bjorn asks, but Torvi just smiles. “You think I would have kicked off?”

“No, but wouldn’t it have been a bit odd?”

“No. We’re all friends, aren’t we?”

“Are we?” Torvi laughs. “Wouldn’t it have felt a bit like a…”

“A what?”

“A double date?” Torvi laughs, “Come on, he’s cute!”

“It’s not like that!”

“Yeah, right.”

“It’s not!” Bjorn says, but when he looks over to Halfdan, who is still struggling to catch Lagertha’s attention so he can order their drinks, he knows that Torvi is right. He knows that there is something between them, that it isn’t like a normal friendship. But they haven’t discussed it, and he isn’t sure if they ever will.

“You like him.”

“You met him what, a minute ago?”

“But I know you, Bjorn,” Torvi says, as she grabs his hand. “Not as well as I thought… I didn’t realise you were gay, but…,” she adds, and Bjorn can’t help but laugh, the smile on Torvi’s smile growing. “But I do know you, Bjorn. You are different when you talk about him.”

“I am?”

“You are happy,” Torvi says, squeezing his hand. “You like him.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t you dare. I want you to be happy, Bjorn. And if Halfdan makes you happy, then… go for it. Don’t let anyone stop you.”

“And Ubbe?” Bjorn asks, Torvi looking down at their hands, a blush now on her face. Bjorn knows her well enough to know that things have changed, that she and Ubbe are not just friends anymore. But he realises that the jealousy he had felt weeks ago, it isn’t there anymore. “I love you, Torvi.”

“I love you too, Bjorn.”

* * *

“Can’t sleep?”

“No,” Bjorn says, as he comes down the stairs. It is almost three in the morning, but he hasn’t slept yet. So when he had heard Halfdan getting out of bed, he had decided to join him.

“Me neither. I think I’m still shaking, after meeting Lagertha,” Halfdan laughs, but Bjorn knows that there is some truth to it. So he joins him on the couch, where he is cuddled up underneath a blanket. Bjorn joins him underneath it, the heat radiating from Halfdan’s body, giving him chills all over.

“Halfdan?”

“Mhm?”

Bjorn almost opens his mouth to tell him all the things he has been feeling ever since they have met. He is ready to ask him if he feels the same way, or if he has been imagining things. But when he feels Halfdan wrapping an arm around him, pulling him closer, he just smiles, and he rests his head on the other man’s chest.


	4. Chapter 4

When Bjorn wakes up, it takes him a moment to realise where he is. But when he realises that his head is still resting on Halfdan’s chest, he can’t help but smile. All he wants to do is keep it there for as long as possible, but his back is starting to cramp up, so he sits up, only to find Halfdan staring at him.

“Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“I thought you could do with a little sleep,” Halfdan says, before getting up, revealing his half naked body. Only now does it fully hit Bjorn that they had been cuddled up underneath a blanket, both half naked, and he knows that if he had been fully aware of this when it had happened, that it would have driven him out of his mind. But it had just happened, naturally, and it had felt normal, like this is what they do. It hadn’t been awkward or uncomfortable. But now Bjorn can feel himself starting to overthink it, and he has to take a deep breath to snap himself out of it.

“Are you okay?” Halfdan asks, when he sees the angry look on the other man’s face.

“Yes, cramp in my back,” Bjorn lies, and he knows that Halfdan can see right through his lie. But he quickly continues, hoping to change the subject to get over the awkwardness that he is creating in his mind. “It looks like the sun is about to come up. Want to go for a run?”

“Sure.”

“We can watch the sunrise,” Bjorn suggests, wanting to kick himself as soon as the words have left his mouth.

“Just let me get changed, okay?”

* * *

Bjorn and Halfdan are just leaving the cottage when they hear some screaming and shouting. Bjorn has grown up with his brothers, so he recognises their voices, and he sighs.

“It’s just Ivar. It’s what he does.”

“Has he ever talked to anyone about what happened with his mother?” Halfdan asks, but Bjorn just shrugs his shoulders. “Have any of your brothers? I mean, their mother left them, just like that. I can only imagine how much that must hurt.”

“Ubbe and Hvitserk used to talk to someone, together. It helped them. Sigurd had some help at school. They tried to get Ivar to talk to someone, but he kept telling them what they wanted to hear, so…”

“He is too clever for them?”

“Unfortunately. He is angry, with everyone. Especially me.”

“Don’t you ever want to try and explain to him what really happened?”

“He knows what happened,” Bjorn says, as he leads Halfdan over to the large patch of grass by the stables. “He knows, deep down, that Aslaug only came back to stop my father from marrying Athelstan. That she didn’t come back for him, or my brothers.”

“Does he know that she wanted to take him with her when she left?”

“He knows. He blames my father, my brothers… but it was my father who was willing to fight for him, for all of them. I think he knows that too.”

“You worry for him, don’t you?” Halfdan asks, and Bjorn can’t help but smile, because he hadn’t even talked to Torvi about Ivar anymore. Everyone had known that Ivar hated him, and there had been dozens of fights, so Ivar had simply gone unmentioned at their home. To have Halfdan read him again, to have him know something about him again that no one else knows, without even telling him, it makes him feel just that much more closer to him.

“How do you do it?” he asks, as they sit down on the grass, the sun already starting to change colour.

“Do what?”

Bjorn stares up to the sky, wondering if he should say what he is thinking. But when he feels Halfdan scooting over, their arms and legs now touching, he knows that it won’t matter what he says. Halfdan won’t run, he won’t be scared off.

“Why does it feel like you know me?”

Halfdan doesn’t know what to say, so he simply lays his hand on Bjorn’s knee, hoping that it will say everything that needs to be said.

Bjorn can feel Halfdan’s clammy hand on his knee, but he can’t get himself to look at it, or to face Halfdan. He can’t take his eyes off the sky, because he knows that if he does, it will make it real. This thing with Halfdan, which has only been in his head so far, will become real, and although he has been thinking about, fantasising about it for weeks, now that they are here, he isn’t sure if he is ready for it or not.

* * *

“We should go out,” Halfdan suggests the next day, after they have had dinner. “Maybe to the pub, for a drink?”

“Just the two of us?”

“Yes, Bjorn, just the two of us.”

“I think my dad is working tonight,” Bjorn says, but Halfdan just shrugs. “Sure, why not?”

“You’re making it sound like I am dragging you out there. We don’t have to go out, I just thought it’d be nice, that’s all.”

“Sorry, I’m just tired. The guy who’s been harassing Torvi showed up again at the gym today,” Bjorn explains, but while that has been on his mind, he’s also not sure if he wants to go out with Halfdan tonight. Since yesterday morning he has been feeling more and more unsure about things, and he just can’t figure out if this thing with Halfdan is all in his head or not. Because sure, Halfdan seems to be trying to let him know that he is into him, but if he liked him, wouldn’t he have tried something by now? Wouldn’t he have kissed him? Flirted even? Maybe he just isn’t into him at all, and he is just being nice, and Bjorn has been imagining things. He just doesn’t know, and it is making him feel like he is fifteen again.

“We don’t have to do this,” Halfdan says, and he flashes a small smile, but Bjorn can see that he is disappointed. “Don’t worry. We can go out some other time.”

“No, I… it’ll be good to take my mind off things.”

* * *

Halfdan can’t hide his disappointment as he watches Bjorn chug down another bottle of beer. Bjorn is starting to get loud, and the stories he is telling are growing bigger and wilder by the minute. Halfdan can see him changing, and at first he was glad to see him relaxing, but the more he sees him changing, the more he is starting to dislike him.

“… so then I grabbed his bag, and I… dad!” Bjorn shouts, and Ragnar comes over to their table, a frustrated look on his face.

“What, Bjorn?”

“Another beer for me, and… Halfdan?”

“I’m fine, thank you,” Halfdan says, flashing an apologetic smile to Ragnar.

“I think you’ve had enough, don’t you?” Ragnar asks, a confused look on his son’s face. “You’re drunk.”

“So? I am old enough to drink, am I not?”

“Don’t do this, Bjorn,” Ragnar warns him, but Bjorn gets up, now looking angry. “What is going on with you, huh?”

“I’m going for a piss,” Bjorn spits out, and he pushes his father out of the way. Ragnar sits down at the table, and he sighs, all of the sudden looking tired, and much older than his years.

“This isn’t like him, Halfdan,” he says, an apologetic look on his face. “I’m sorry, he…”

“I know. He’s just having a bad day.”

“It seems like all my sons are having bad days lately,” Ragnar sighs, but then he flashes a smile. “Kids, huh?”

“Bjorn will be fine, Ragnar,” Halfdan says. “I’ll make sure he gets home safe, he’ll sleep it off…”

“Thank you,” Ragnar says, and he opens his mouth to say something else. But people are trying to get his attention, so he gets up, gives Halfdan a squeeze in the shoulder, and gets back to work.

Halfdan feels like he has been waiting for Bjorn to get out of the toilets for the longest time, and he is starting to wonder if he has left the pub without him. He is even starting to get angry with him, but then he gets worried, because what if Bjorn has passed out and he has hit his head?

He gets up, and he goes over to the toilets, but Bjorn is nowhere to be found. So he wants to leave the pub, but as he walks past the backdoor, he can’t help but notice that it’s open. So he goes outside, but the second he steps outside, he wishes that he hadn’t left the table. Because he finds Bjorn in the alley, not lying there, not having passed out. He is standing there, fucking some girl. Halfdan wants to turn back and go back inside, but Bjorn has noticed him, and for a moment, their eyes meet. But there is no shame, no regret. Bjorn just shrugs, as he goes on fucking the girl.

So Halfdan goes back inside, but when he sees Ragnar, his legs nearly give out. He can’t face him, not after what he has just seen. So he leaves the pub, and he goes over to his car, ready to go home. Let Bjorn find his own way home. But he just can’t get himself to leave.

So he waits, and after only a matter of minutes, the door opens, and Bjorn gets into the car, looking flushed, still drunk. But he doesn’t apologise, he doesn’t explain.

* * *

“What happened back there?” Halfdan asks, when they are back at the cottage.

“You saw what happened, Halfdan.”

“But I thought…”

“What?”

“I thought you were gay,” Halfdan says, but Bjorn just shrugs, the walk from the car to the cottage having sobered him up somewhat. But he is angry, mostly with himself, and he doesn’t even know what to say right now. “Are you?”

“Yes, Halfdan, I’m gay.”

“Then what was that?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know why I fucked her,” Bjorn admits. “She came up to me, and we just… I don’t know, okay?”

“Your behaviour tonight, I didn’t like it,” Halfdan says. “I didn’t like who I saw, Bjorn. If you want to go out and fuck girls, that’s fine by me, but being drunk, loud, obnoxious? The way you spoke to your father?”

“You don’t get to tell me what to do, Halfdan. If I want to go out for a drink…”

“You’re right,” Halfdan says, but the look on Halfdan’s face hurts Bjorn, and it makes him realise that his behaviour tonight has truly put a distance between them. “You do whatever you want to do, Bjorn. I’m going to bed.”

“No, wait, I…”

Halfdan turns to walk off, but Bjorn grabs his arm, making sure he can’t leave. Not yet. But he knows that Halfdan is disappointed in him, and that no matter what he says right now, it won’t make a difference. He needs to do something, try anything to get rid of that distance between them though, so in his intoxicated state of mind, he does the first thing that comes to mind.

He grabs Halfdan’s crotch, but Halfdan doesn’t jump up, he doesn’t walk away. He just laughs to himself, as he watches Bjorn fumble with the button of his jeans, with his zipper.

“What are you doing?” he laughs, but Bjorn ignores him. He is too busy trying to slide the other man’s jeans down, but he is struggling, and he knows it is taking him far too long. So he drops down to his knees, and he kisses the small strip of exposed skin that is showing. And when he feels Halfdan’s hand on the side of his neck, he feels like they are finally getting somewhere, like the distance is gone, Halfdan is letting him back in again.

But Halfdan is still laughing to himself, as he watches Bjorn. And when he carefully caresses the side of his neck, and Bjorn looks up at him, trying to give him a ‘sexy’ look, it takes all of his strength not to burst out laughing then and there.

“Go to bed, Bjorn.”

“What, but I was…”

“I know what you were going to do,” Halfdan laughs. “That’s why I’m telling you, go to bed.”

Bjorn isn’t sure what is happening, but before he knows it, Halfdan is helping him up to his feet, and up the stairs, up to their bedroom. For a split second, there is still some hope that something is going to happen between them. But when Halfdan tucks him into bed, before getting undressed and getting into his own bed, he realises that he really has just been rejected by him.

“Goodnight, Bjorn.”

“Yeah, goodnight…”

* * *

Bjorn had woken up a while ago, but he hasn’t gotten out of bed yet. The thought of having to go downstairs and face Halfdan after what had happened last night makes him feel even worse than his headache right now. He doubts Halfdan will tell him off for what he has done, in fact, he is sure Halfdan will either laugh it off or not mention it at all. But that almost makes it worse.

He knows he can’t avoid him forever though, so he takes a deep breath and he forces himself to get out of bed. But as soon as he gets downstairs, and he finds Halfdan sitting by the window, drinking his coffee, his heart starts beating faster. What if the distance he had been feeling last night will be there between them from now on? The thought hurts him, more than he wants to admit. It makes him want to turn and leave, but he knows he can’t.

“How is your head?” Halfdan asks, when Bjorn joins him, and he flashes a small, knowing smile.

“Sore,” Bjorn admits. “I ehm… I’m sorry, for my behaviour last night.”

“I’m not the one you should be apologising to.”

“I’ll talk to my dad later.”

“I’m sorry for telling you off. You were right, it’s not my place to tell you what to do,” Halfdan says, but Bjorn shakes his head.

“No, you were right. That was… I don’t even know what that was. I usually only have one beer, maybe two. Next time if you see me getting drunk again, just do whatever you have to do to stop me, okay?”

“Whatever it takes?”

“I know you’ve got some tricks up your sleeve,” Bjorn says, and Halfdan gets a shy smile on his face. It is good to see Halfdan smiling, to feel like he isn’t angry with him for last night. But Bjorn knows that there is still the elephant in the room, which is what had happened after they had gotten back home. “I need to ask…”

“What?”

“Why did you stop me?”

“You were drunk, Bjorn,” Halfdan sighs, knowing exactly what the other man is talking about. “I didn’t want you to do something you were going to regret.”

“Who says I would have regretted it?” Bjorn asks, but as soon as he has spoken the words, he realises what he has just said. “I mean…”

“Would you really have gone through with it?”

“You know I would have.”

Halfdan stares back out of the window, and Bjorn wonders if he has said too much. But then he notices the shy smile on Halfdan’s face. The blush on his cheeks.

“Are we okay?”

“Yes, Bjorn, we are okay.”

* * *

“What the hell?” Halfdan asks, when he and Bjorn get to his car later that morning. It’s an old car, and it looks like it can fall apart any minute now. But the large scratches which are now covering the entire side had definitely not been there last night.

“Do you think someone at the pub…”

“They weren’t here when we got home,” Halfdan says, already having his suspicions, but not wanting to speak them out loud. “I’m sure it must have been animal, or…”

“An animal?”

“It’s fine. It’s just a car.”

“We both know who did this,” Bjorn says, but Halfdan wants to ignore it and get into his car. But when he watches Bjorn turning to make his way over to the villa, he quickly goes over to him.

“Please, don’t. Honestly, it’s fine.”

“He can’t do this and get away with it. He is a bully, Halfdan!”

“I know, but… please. This is exactly what he wants, a reaction. Don’t give him the satisfaction,” Halfdan says, but Bjorn can feel his blood boiling. He knows that Halfdan is right though, so he takes a deep breath, and he gets into the car with him.

* * *

“Did Halfdan just drop you off?” Torvi asks, when Bjorn walks into the gym. “Does this mean…”

“He did, but no. I already told you, it’s not like that.”

“Sure,” Torvi laughs.

“He needs to be in town today for a couple of job interviews, so he offered to give me a ride.”

“Okay.” Torvi shrugs, but Bjorn can see the knowing grin on her face, and he can’t help but laugh. “Is he picking you up later?”

“Yeah, we need to get groceries, so…,” Bjorn begins, but the grin on Torvi’s face just keeps growing, so he wraps his arms around her, and he kisses the top of her head, glad to still have her in his life.

* * *

Torvi’s last client of the day has just left, and she is about to get changed, but when she notices Halfdan coming into the gym, looking a little uncomfortable, she goes over to him, a big smile on her face.

“You’re early,” she says, “he’s still with a client.”

“Oh, I know. But I was done early, so…”

“Come on, let’s have a drink,” Torvi suggests, and she leads him over to the bar. She grabs them both a drink, before sitting him down at one of the tables. “Bjorn told me you had a job interview today?”

“I did. Two, actually. But I might as well not have gone,” Halfdan says, trying to laugh it off, but the truth is that he is now truly running out of money, and if he doesn’t find work soon, it will only be a matter of weeks until he has to move out of the cottage.

“I don’t think the gym is looking for anyone, but I’ll ask around for you. What kind of work are you looking for?”

“Anything,” Halfdan admits. “I don’t even mind scrubbing toilets, or…”

“Is it that bad?”

“It’s ‘I’m about to end up on the street’ bad,” Halfdan laughs, staring down into his energy drink.

“What about the pub?”

“Didn’t Bjorn tell you? Lagertha is not exactly my biggest fan.”

“Did something happen?” Torvi asks, but then Halfdan just sighs.

“It doesn’t matter.”

Torvi is about to ask Halfdan what happened, because she had always gotten along with Lagertha, and she can’t imagine what must have happened for her and Halfdan not to get along. But when she sees Erlendur coming over to their table, a determined look on his face, she feels the anxiety creeping up on her.

“Leave! You know you’re not allowed to come anywhere near me, so…”

“I have done nothing wrong, you sick…!” Erlendur spits out, but before he can say another word, Halfdan has gotten up, putting himself in between the young man and Torvi. “Who the fuck are you? Are you her new boyfriend?”

“Just leave!” Torvi tries, and she wants to get up, but she can’t. She has always been strong, independent, and she prides herself for it. But there is something about Erlendur, about his determination, which scares the living daylights out of her.

“Seriously?” Erlendur asks. “This guy?”

“You heard her, she doesn’t want you here,” Halfdan says, and no matter how distanced he has become from his brother’s world, from the violence, he can feel that anger creeping up on him again. That anger, that rage, which had made him so useful to his brother. Which had made him beat the living daylights out of dozens of people. He had tried so hard to get away from the person he had been back then, but as Erlendur is standing before him, he can feel himself turning back into the person he had sworn he had left behind.

“Who the fuck are you, huh?” Erlendur asks again, taking a step towards Halfdan, having no idea of the mistake he is making. He pushes Halfdan, trying to scare him, intimidate him. But something inside of Halfdan snaps, and all he wants to do is protect Torvi from the man who is standing in front of him. So without even thinking it through, without thinking about the fact that he is at Bjorn and Torvi’s place of work, he punches Erlendur with all of his strength. Erlendur falls to the ground, but Halfdan doesn’t stop there.

Bjorn can hear the chaos, but it takes him a while to realise that it isn’t just a group of friends being loud. He looks over, and when he sees Torvi trying to pull a man off another man who is on his back on the floor, his first thought is that two clients have gotten into a fight. So he hurries over, wanting to get Torvi away from the chaos, to keep her safe. But when he reaches the chaos, it fully hits him what is happening.

He pulls Halfdan off of Erlendur, whose face is bloody, but he is still moving, still crying, still begging for help. But no one is helping him.

“What are you…,” Bjorn begins, as he sits Halfdan down into a chair, but when he sees how badly he is shaking, he just wraps his arms around him.

“I’m calling the police!” Erlendur cries out, as he gets back up to his feet. “You’re getting locked up for this!”

“Call them!” Torvi spits out. “I will tell them everything you have put me through over the last months. I will tell them you threatened me, how Halfdan defended me! I have witnesses!”

“I…”

“Call them. I dare you!” Torvi spits out, making Erlendur flinch. “If I ever see you here again…,” she adds, having found her strength now. The thought of Halfdan getting into trouble, when all he had done was defending her, has lit a fire in her. And as she steps up to Erlendur, he steps back, looking scared, like a nervous little boy, his face still bruised and bloody. “Go home, Erlendur!”

The young man turns and leaves, without saying another word, so Torvi hurries over to Halfdan, who is still being held by Bjorn. But a crowd is gathered around them, and Torvi knows that they can get into trouble for this. But then an elderly woman comes up to them, and she offers them her towel, for Halfdan’s bloody hands.

“Good job, son. Defending our Torvi like that,” she says, and Torvi can’t help but smile, as she takes the towel from the woman. “Don’t you worry, we all saw that he was the one looking for trouble.”

“Thank you, miss Evans,” Torvi says, and she flashes her a grateful smile. The crowd quickly scatters after that, so Torvi kneels down beside Halfdan, and she places a hand on his arm, but it makes him flinch.

“I am so sorry,” Halfdan whispers, and Bjorn lets go of him, shocked to find all colour having drained from Halfdan’s face. “I’m not…”

“I know you’re not,” Bjorn whispers. “You’re a good man, Halfdan. You heard what miss Evans said, didn’t you?”

“I could have killed him…”

“Nah, you probably just broke his nose, that’s it,” Bjorn says, but he can see how scared Halfdan is, how ashamed of what he has just done.

“Imagine what might have happened if you hadn’t been here, Halfdan,” Torvi tries, but it’s like her words aren’t even getting through to him. “Why don’t you go home, Bjorn? Make sure he’s okay?”

“But I was with…”

“I know, I’ll explain. Just make sure he’s okay,” Torvi says, a worried look on her face as she looks back at Halfdan. “I’ll call you later.”

* * *

It’s been a few hours, and Halfdan is still curled up underneath a blanket on the couch. He hasn’t said a word since they have gotten home though, and Bjorn is starting to get really worried about him. So he joins him on the couch, and although he is scared to touch him, scared to make him flinch, he joins him underneath the blanket. And the fact that Halfdan lets him, that he doesn’t move at all, it almost scares him more.

“You did nothing wrong, Halfdan.”

“I came here to get away from all of that.”

“Today was different,” Bjorn says. “You did it to protect Torvi, you didn’t do it to hurt someone, to intimidate them, to threaten them… what you did today had nothing to do with what you did for your brother.”

“But he didn’t hurt her, Bjorn. If I had just let him walk away…”

“Who says he would have walked away? Who says he wouldn’t have hurt her?”

“Who says he would have?” Halfdan asks, making Bjorn sigh. “I couldn’t stop hitting him, Bjorn. I got so angry, I…”

“Because he was hurting someone you care about.”

“I hardly even know Torvi. No offence, but…”

“But you know I love her, and you care about me. Don’t you?” Bjorn says, the colour finally coming back to Halfdan’s face. “That makes you care about her.”

“I don’t want to be that person anymore.”

“You’re not,” Bjorn says, as he grabs the other man’s hand. “I promise you you’re not.”

“Will you get into trouble, for what I did?”

“No, and neither will you. Now come on,” Bjorn says, as he gets up from off the couch. He reaches out his hand, but Halfdan just stares up at him, a confused look on his face. “Come on!”

“What are you…?”

“Let’s go.”

“Where to?”

“The woods,” Bjorn says, a small smile forming on Halfdan’s lips. “You know I could just pick you up and put you over my shoulder, don’t you?”

“I know you’re crazy enough to do it.”

“Good, so get up,” Bjorn laughs, the smile on Halfdan growing bigger. He finally gets up, and after putting his shoes on, he follows Bjorn outside, and they quietly make their way over to the woods.

They have been here every morning, but it feels different, being here at night. There is almost something dark and mysterious about it, and even though it’s still warm out, Bjorn can feel himself getting more and more chills the deeper they are getting into the woods.

“Bjorn?”

“Mhm?”

“What you asked me earlier… if I care about you…,” Halfdan begins, but Bjorn keeps his eyes focussed on the path, and Halfdan swallows back whatever else he had been meaning to say. It isn’t until they arrive at the clearing, that they face each other, only to find that they are both unable to face each other without blushing.

“Let’s go for a swim,” Bjorn suggests, and without even waiting for Halfdan’s answer, he gets out of his clothes, and he gets into the river. The water seems to wash away everything that happened today, what happened at the pub last night. It frees him from any worries, any regret, shame, fear. And when Halfdan swims up to him, all he can do is stare at him.

Only months ago, he had been living with Torvi, they had still been in a relationship. But he can hardly remember what his life had been like back then, what he had felt like. What he had been like. What life without Halfdan had been like.

But just as he is about to close the space between them, to lean in and kiss him, Halfdan opens his mouth and he speaks the words that make Bjorn feel like he is being kicked in the gut.

“I am going to have to move out.”

“What? Why?” Bjorn asks, not even trying to hide the hurt in his voice. “Because of last night? I thought…”

“No, last night has nothing to do with it. But I’ve been looking for work for a while now, and no one wants to hire me, so… I can’t afford to pay the rent anymore, Bjorn. I’m sorry.”

“We’ll talk to my dad and Athelstan, we can…”

“No,” Halfdan quickly says, an embarrassed look on his face. “I don’t want to talk to them, or ask them for help. I am sorry, okay, but… I’m sorry.”

Bjorn wants to object, he wants to tell him off for giving up so easily, but he knows that he shouldn’t argue with him, not after what had happened at the gym earlier. So he simply nods, as he watches Halfdan swim away from. But he knows that he cannot let Halfdan leave, and that he will do whatever he can to help him.


	5. Chapter 5

“You’re still alive then?” Ragnar says, when Bjorn steps into the living room of the villa a few days later.

“I’m sorry, for…”

“Next time I will kick you out of my pub,” Ragnar says, still not looking up from the pile of papers in his lap. “Don’t think I won’t, just because you’re my son.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I’ve just been…”

“What is going on with you?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Bjorn says, and he is about to turn and leave, because he only came here to finally apologise to his father. But Ragnar scoots over, making room for him on the couch, so he sits down next to his father, and for a moment he considers telling him everything, from coming out to Torvi, to falling in love with Halfdan, to Halfdan having to move out. But the thought of coming out to his father, right here, right now, it just doesn’t feel right. So he just sighs, and his father grabs his hand.

“Talk to me.”

“Halfdan needs work, or he’ll have to move out.”

“Yes, Athelstan told me. We’re looking for someone at the pub, but… I suggested Halfdan to your mother, and she nearly bit my head off. What happened there?”

“Halfdan used to work for his brother… with his brother,” Bjorn begins, but then he hesitates, not sure if he should tell his father about Halfdan’s past. But he knows Ragnar needs to know something, so he continues. “His brother is involved in the more criminal side of things, so…”

“And your mum?”

“Halfdan’s brother tried to take the pub from her, from you.”

“Halfdan is Harald’s brother?” Ragnar asks, and he lets go of Bjorn’s hand, a tired look on his face. “Your mum told me about Harald, but… I had no idea Halfdan was his brother, Bjorn. If I had known…”

“Halfdan is different, dad.”

“I know. But I seriously doubt your mum will give Halfdan a chance, after what Harald did to her. You know he threatened her, don’t you?”

“But Halfdan…”

“I’ll talk to her, but even if she is willing to let him work at the pub, he will probably have to scrub the floor, or…”

“But it means he will be able to stay,” Bjorn says, and a small smile forms on his father’s lips. “Please, dad.”

“I’ll talk to your mum. And Bjorn? You know you can tell me anything, don’t you?”

“Yeah, of course. But that was all,” Bjorn lies, but when he sees the smile on his father’s face, he wonders if his father knows. If he can see right through his lies. Through him.

* * *

Bjorn has just gotten home from work, and he is about to jump into the shower, get changed and have a quiet night. But just as he is about to step into the shower, his phone starts ringing. He wants to ignore it, but no one has seen Erlendur since he was beaten up by Halfdan last week, so Bjorn is worried that he has shown up again, that something has happened to Torvi. So he picks up his phone, only to find that it is Athelstan.

“Why don’t you and Halfdan come over to ours for dinner tonight?”

“Oh, we ehm… I’m actually not sure where Halfdan is. He wasn’t here when I just got home,” Bjorn realises, having been too caught up in his own thoughts to realise this before. “Give me a minute, I’ll just go look for him, see where he is.”

Before giving Athelstan a chance to speak, he hangs up the phone, and he quickly gets dressed again. He runs out of the cottage, a little worried that Halfdan is gone. But when he goes over to the stables, he finds him there, reading a book.

“Athelstan invited us over for dinner,” he says, and Halfdan looks up, but he looks a little hesitant. “Why have you been avoiding my family?”

“I’m scared they’ll find out who I am.”

“My dad knows who you are, Halfdan. I told him, about your brother.”

“Why?” Halfdan asks, his neck flaring up. Bjorn joins him, and he takes his hand in his. “What did he say?”

“He doesn’t care,” Bjorn says, staring down at Halfdan’s bruised knuckles. “He knows who you are now.”

“It doesn’t even matter, I’ll be gone soon anyway.”

“You’re not going anywhere,” Bjorn says, and Halfdan looks up at him, ready to object, but when Bjorn brings his hand up to his lips, and he kisses his bruised knuckles, all he can do is smile. “You’re staying right here with me. With us. Now come on.”

* * *

“Have you got a minute?” Ragnar asks, when Halfdan is about to sit down at the table. “I need to discuss something with you.”

“Oh, sure…”

Halfdan follows Ragnar into the other room, preparing himself for the worst. They sit down on the couch, and he wonders if he should begin, if he should start by apologising. But he doesn’t get the chance to.

“Are you still looking for work?”

“Yes, but…”

“I’ve spoken to Lagertha, and she’s not too keen on the idea of you working at the pub,” Ragnar admits, “but she is willing to give you a chance. But if you mess this up…”

“Really?”

“I know you came here to get away from your brother, from his… line of work,” Ragnar says, a knowing smile on his face. “I believe you want to change, Halfdan.”

Halfdan looks down at his knuckles, an embarrassed look on his face, but when Ragnar places a hand on his hand, and he squeezes it tight, he looks up, only to find a reassuring smile on his face.

“Ubbe told me what you did for Torvi.”

“I’m not… I don’t want to be that person, Ragnar. I’m not a violent…”

“I know,” Ragnar says, and he pats Halfdan’s hand, before getting up. “You make the best of this chance, Halfdan. Oh, and about the rent…”

“I’ll get it together, I…”

“It’s been taken care of,” Ragnar says, and he flashes a smile, leaving the room before Halfdan can say anything. But what does that mean, it’s been taken care of? Has Bjorn paid his half of the rent for him? Have Ragnar and Athelstan helped him out? What has just happened? It takes him a moment to compose himself, but then he takes a deep breath, and he gets up and steps back into the kitchen, where Athelstan is trying to get the teenagers to sit down and be quiet for a moment. But there is no use, and the small kitchen is one big whirlwind of men walking around, yelling and screaming at each other. But when Halfdan sits down next to Bjorn, he can’t help but smile, and for just a moment, he even catches himself thinking that he can get used to this.

* * *

Dinner had been surprisingly nice, even Ivar had kept most of his comments to himself. But as Bjorn and Halfdan had made their way back to the cottage, it had started raining, and the weather had only gotten worse as the night had gotten on.

They are now upstairs, and Bjorn is just getting out of the bathroom, ready to get into bed. But he finds Halfdan standing in front of the window, and even from a distance he can tell that he is shivering, and when the lightning lights up the sky, followed by a loud bang, he starts shaking.

“Are you scared?”

“I know it’s stupid,” Halfdan admits. “but I’ve always been scared of it. It just seems so… I don’t know. It seems so big to me. Other-worldly.”

“When I was younger,” Bjorn begins, as he makes his way over to Halfdan, only stopping when he is standing right behind him, their bodies almost touching. “my parents used to tell me these stories, about the Gods. Whenever there is thunder, lightning, I still think of them. I still wonder if they are real.”

“Like Thor?” Halfdan asks, turning to look over his shoulder, but when a loud bang can be heard, he jumps up. So Bjorn wraps his arms around him, and he pulls him close, their bodies now pressed together, the warmth only causing Halfdan to shiver even more. But he stares back out of the window, and when another flash of lightning lights up the sky, Bjorn wraps his arms around him even tighter. It makes him feel like the world outside can’t hurt him, no matter how bad it is. Not even thunder or lightning can get to him right now. Not even the Gods.

“Let’s go to bed,” Bjorn whispers, and he leads Halfdan over to his bed. Until now, they had always slept in their own beds, but tonight they both get into Bjorn’s bed, and as he turns off the lights, he feels Halfdan pressing his body up against him, wanting to feel that warmth from before again. The safety, the reassurance.

So Bjorn wraps an arm around his waist, and he makes sure there is not even an inch of space between their bodies anymore. But when he lays his head down on the pillow, he feels an emptiness, something feels unfinished, undone.

Halfdan seems to feel the same way, because he turns to face him, and before Bjorn can even think things through, he has kissed him. Halfdan kisses him back, not even trying to hide that this is what he has been wanting to do for months. And when he pulls away, he has a shy smile on his face, which only grows bigger when Bjorn presses their bodies together, before nuzzling his face into the crook of his neck.

“Goodnight, Bjorn.”

“Goodnight, Halfdan.”

* * *

Bjorn can feel the warmth of Halfdan’s body next to him when he wakes up the next morning, and all he wants to do is close his eyes and fall back asleep, make this moment last for just a little bit longer. But he has to work today, and staying in bed with Halfdan for the rest of the day just isn’t an option.

He carefully tries to get out of bed without waking the other man up, but when he feels Halfdan wrapping his arms around him, not allowing him to leave the bed, he can’t help but smile.

“I thought you were still asleep,” he whispers, but Halfdan just mumbles, as he pulls him closer. “It looks like we made it through the storm.”

“Mhm,” Halfdan mumbles, and Bjorn looks down at him, finding him looking so peaceful, that for a moment, he seriously considers not going to work at all. But then Halfdan sighs, and he opens his eyes, looking up at him. “You should get ready for work. I think you’re already late.”

“I am?” Bjorn asks, before reaching over to grab his phone. He thought he had woken up before the alarm had gone off, but when he sees the time, he realises that he has forgotten to set the alarm last night, and that he is indeed late.

“Go on, you get ready,” Halfdan says, and within seconds, he is out of bed, throwing on some clothes. It leaves Bjorn feeling cold, and all he wants is for him to come back to bed. But he gives himself a kick up the backside, and he gets out of bed, before going to the bathroom to get ready for work.

* * *

This morning had been a mad rush, and Bjorn had had his breakfast in the car, while Halfdan had driven him into work. He had still been late, but at least he hadn’t been late for his first client. Not going for a run, and not having a moment to himself before work had made him feel uneasy, and all day he has felt like he is being rushed. Chased.

But as the day is coming to an end, he can feel his brain finally calming down, and he is finally starting to feel like himself again. But it also means that his brain is starting to think about what had happened last night, about the kiss he had shared with Halfdan. Does this mean that they are more than friends now? Or had it simply been a kiss? Is nothing going to change now? He wishes he could just ask Halfdan, but he knows that if he were to ask him, he might not get the answer he wants to hear.

“What’s up, brother?” he hears, and he snaps out of his thoughts. Ubbe is sitting at one of the tables, having a cup of tea, waiting for Torvi. “Halfdan?” he asks, as Bjorn joins him.

“Yeah,” Bjorn admits, still not used to discussing this with his brother. But Ubbe and Torvi are the only ones who know he is interested in Halfdan, and Torvi is his ex, so he would be even more uncomfortable discussing this with her right now.

“What’s going on with the two of you? You like him, don’t you?”

“I do, but…”

“But what? You’re already living with the guy!” Ubbe shrugs, and Bjorn can’t help but laugh. “Are you nervous dad might find out you’re gay? Is that it?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

“You realise he’s married to a guy, right?”

“I know he won’t care, it’s just… I’m just not ready to tell him. It just doesn’t feel right.”

“But it’s holding you back,” Ubbe says, and for the first time does Bjorn truly see the young man sitting across the table from him. He is not a teenager anymore, not just his little brother. He has grown up, and Bjorn can see that he had been wrong, when he had called Torvi out for choosing to be with him. He can see that he is right for her, that he has become the man she needs. The man she deserves.

“I love him, Ubbe,” he admits, for the first time speaking the words out loud, and he half expects the world to come crashing down around him. But his brother just flashes him a knowing smile.

“Have you told him that?”

“No, of course not. We’re not…”

“So you’re just going to go on living with him, and whatever you could have had… fuck it?” Ubbe asks, but before Bjorn can defend himself, his brother continues. “And you’re not going to come out to your family because you’re too scared?”

“I’m…”

“I have always looked up to you, Bjorn,” Ubbe continues. “I used to wish I was more like you. But I’m starting to think you’re a coward.”

“I’m not a coward, Ubbe,” Bjorn says, but he knows that his brother is only calling him a coward to try and rile him up, to try and get him to act. “I’m just not…”

“When are you going to start living your own life?” Ubbe asks. “When are you going to stop hiding? Huh?”

Bjorn feels like his brother has just punched him in the face, and he wishes he could come up with something to say, but he can’t. Because when months ago, he came out to Torvi, and they ended their relationship, when he had driven up to the villa, it had felt like a new beginning, a new life. But it’s been months, and although things have changed, and he wouldn’t go back to the way things had been, he knows that he himself hasn’t changed since that day. He is still hiding the truth from his family, and he has told himself every excuse he can come up with to justify not having come out to them yet. And even with Halfdan he feels like he is making excuses. He could have asked him out dozens of times, he could have kissed him months ago, he could have flat out told him he was into him. But there had always been a part of him that been holding him back. He had even gotten drunk, and he had ended up fucking some girl, just to try and take his mind off Halfdan. Perhaps to even get a reaction from him. But still it had gotten him nowhere. Even their kiss last night has gotten him nowhere, because he knows that he will come up with yet another excuse not to have to be completely honest with Halfdan. He will laugh it off, cover it up with lies, and he knows Halfdan will let him. Still he will do it, because he is scared, and even Ubbe knows it.

* * *

Bjorn has been thinking about his conversation with Ubbe all night, and it had made him quiet, and withdrawn, so Halfdan had gone upstairs, to give him some time alone. But he knows that he needs to snap out of it, because he is the only one who is doing this, the only one who can change it. So he goes upstairs, and he sits down with Halfdan, who puts his book down and looks up at him, a worried look on his face.

“What happened?”

“I ehm…,” Bjorn begins, the words he had come up with only minutes before, now seeming to have disappeared again. “Last night…”

“We don’t have to have this conversation, do we?”

“I don’t know,” Bjorn admits, as he grabs Halfdan’s hand, not wanting him to run away. “Ever since I started doubting my relationship with Torvi, my feelings, myself… I have been so caught up in my head, and I feel like I have gotten stuck there. Even now, I don’t know how to… I don’t know, Halfdan.”

“But you do know,” Halfdan says, and he squeezes Bjorn’s hand tight. Bjorn looks him in the eyes, and he is scared to find pity there, to find him preparing to reject him. But instead, Halfdan brings his hand up to the side of his face, and he gently brushes his thumb over his bottom lip, a nervous, but determined look in his eyes. But just as Bjorn is about to lean in and kiss him, his phone starts ringing. He wants to ignore it, but Halfdan is already moving away from him, so he gets up, and he hurries downstairs to grab his phone, ready to throw it out of the window. But when he sees Ubbe’s number, he worries something has happened to Torvi, so he quickly answers it.

“Hey, what…”

“You need to come here. Now,” Ubbe says, and Bjorn can hear the chaos that is going on in the background.

“Are you at Torvi’s?”

“I’m at the villa,” Ubbe says, “Just hurry over here, okay? And Bjorn?”

“Yeah?”

“Bring Halfdan.”

Bjorn is about to ask his brother what is going on, but Ubbe has already hung up the phone. So he turns to go back upstairs, but he finds that Halfdan has followed him, and he has a worried look on his face.

“We need to go to the villa. Ubbe sounded nervous, he said we…”

“Let’s go,” Halfdan interrupts him, and within seconds, they’re on their way over to the villa. Bjorn is scared that something has happened to one of his brothers, but then why would he have to bring Halfdan with him? He can’t figure out what must have happened, but when they enter the villa, he finds his brothers all screaming and shouting at each other, only Ubbe and Alfred standing in the doorway, not getting involved. Ragnar and Athelstan are in the kitchen, quietly discussing something, but when they notice Bjorn and Halfdan, they hurry over, and the room falls silent.

“What is going on?” Bjorn asks, and Ivar looks like he is about to open his mouth, but his father stops him.

“Don’t!”

“Is it true?” Sigurd asks, but Bjorn has no idea what he is talking about. So he just looks at Ragnar, who has a guilty look on his face. “You’re gay?”

“I’m…,” Bjorn tries, but before he can even come up with an answer, Ivar has opened his mouth, ignoring Ragnar’s warning.

“I saw them! Halfdan picked him up at the gym, and when they got into the car, they kissed,” he explains. Bjorn wishes he could defend himself, tell his family that Ivar is lying, but he knows that he isn’t. “That is why he dumped Torvi. He’s gay.”

“Is that why you two moved into the cottage?” Sigurd asks. “Did you two know each other before?”

“Did you dump Torvi because of him?” Hvitserk asks, the questions starting to get to Bjorn, and he wishes he could turn and leave. But he knew that this was going to happen sooner or later. But he was going to come out when he was ready, he needed more time to prepare. This isn’t the right moment. Not yet.

“Why did you lie to us?” Alfred asks. “You could’ve told us. I mean, dad and Ragnar are gay, so…”

“I’m not…,” Bjorn begins, but when he sees that the guilt on his father’s face has turned into disappointment, something inside of him breaks.

“Let him speak,” Athelstan says, raising his voice, and the teenagers are so not used to him raising his voice, that a deadly silence follows.

“I am gay,” Bjorn says, his voice shaking, but when Ubbe comes up to him, and he puts a hand on his shoulder, to show him support, he finds some kind of strength within himself, and he continues. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you guys. But I wasn’t ready. I was waiting for the right moment, and I’m sorry that it came out like this. I…”

“Does Torvi know?” Hvitserk asks, and Bjorn nods, an embarrassed look on his face. “Did you lie to her all those years?”

“No. I didn’t know, okay? As soon as I was sure, I told her, and we… that’s when I moved out, and I came here,” Bjorn explains. “I’m sorry,” he repeats, but then he feels a hand on his back, and he knows that it is Halfdan’s. It means the world to know that he has both Ubbe and Halfdan’s support right now, but he can still see the disappointment in his father’s eyes, and it takes all of his strength not to start crying right now.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Bjorn,” Athelstan says. “I am sorry you didn’t get to tell us when you were ready.”

“So we are just going to ignore what I just told you?” Ivar spits out, an angry look on his face. “The two of them have been hooking up ever since they moved in there. He lied to you, dad. To all of us!”

“We’re not…”

“And how is that any of your business?” Ubbe asks, before Bjorn can say another word. “So what if they are? You had no right telling us he’s gay. It wasn’t your place.”

“You knew, didn’t you?” Ivar asks. “Were you in on this whole…”

“That’s enough!” Ragnar snaps, after having been silent throughout all of this. “You shouldn’t have told us.”

“But…”

“I know you’re angry with your brother, but what you have just done… I have never been so disappointed in you, Ivar,” Ragnar says, “I want you to go to your room, and…”

“Is this some kind of a joke?” Ivar asks. “He has been lying to all of us for months, and I’m the one in the wrong?”

“Go to your room. Now!” Ragnar repeats, so much anger and hurt in his voice, that Ivar realises that he isn’t kidding. So he gets up, and he storms off to his room, leaving a deadly silence in the room.

“I don’t care that you’re gay,” Hvitserk finally says. “I just wish you would’ve told us.”

“So are you two…?” Sigurd begins, but when he sees the warning look on Athelstan’s face, he keeps quiet.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” Bjorn repeats, but this time he isn’t talking to his brothers. This time he is saying it to his father, because he can still see the disappointment on his face. He can see how upset he is, and he feels horrible for causing this. He knows he should have just told them, the day he had come here after telling Torvi, then none of this would have happened. His brothers wouldn’t have felt lied to, his father wouldn’t be upset. But he knows he can’t turn back time, so now all he can do is try to make things right.

“Don’t you dare apologise,” Ragnar spits out, sounding almost as angry as he had just sounded when he had spoken to Ivar. But when he comes up to him, Bjorn can see the tears forming in his eyes. He wraps his arms around him so tightly, that it actually hurts Bjorn’s back, but he doesn’t say a word, he just clings onto his father, this hug meaning so much more to him than just any hug.

“Come with me,” Ragnar says, when he finally lets go of him. He leads him out of the villa, away from the others, to a quiet place where they sit down.

“I’m sorry Ivar told you,” Bjorn says, even though his father has already told him not to apologise again. But he still feels like he should have been the one to tell his father. It shouldn’t have been his brother who told him.

“I already knew, Bjorn,” Ragnar sighs. “I saw how upset you were, when you thought Halfdan was going to have to move out.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because I knew you weren’t ready to tell me,” Ragnar explains. “But your mum knows, doesn’t she?”

“I told her, when I first started having doubts about… yeah… I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you. I know you’re with Athelstan, so I probably should have talked to you, but…”

“Bjorn, stop apologising,” Ragnar says, as he grabs his son’s hand. “I’m glad you had your mum to talk to, okay? And I am proud of you for being honest with Torvi.”

“But not with you.”

“Stop it,” Ragnar snaps. “You think I’m angry with you? You think your brothers are angry with you?”

“They…”

“They are hurt, because they think you didn’t trust them, or they think you thought they wouldn’t have accepted you. They’re not angry because you didn’t tell them.”

“I saw you, dad,” Bjorn admits. “I saw how disappointed you were.”

“You did?” Ragnar asks, and his son looks up at him, trying to hide how hurt he is, but he is failing miserably. “Did you really think I was disappointed in you?”

“I saw you.”

“I am disappointed in Ivar, Bjorn. He told us, not because he wanted us to know. But because he knew that he was hurting you, by telling us one of your secrets. He did it, to try and set us up against you. You should have heard the things he was saying,” Ragnar sighs. “That is why your brothers were arguing when you came in. He told them you had been lying to Torvi, to Porunn… He said…”

“What?”

“It doesn’t matter. But what your brother did tonight… he has gone too far, Bjorn. I don’t care that you’re gay, I don’t care that you didn’t tell us. It’s your life, and you’re old enough to decide what you tell us and what you keep to yourself. But…”

“He needs help, dad,” Bjorn says, but Ragnar just stares down at their hands. “He scratched Halfdan’s car the other day.”

“He did what?”

“Halfdan didn’t want me to tell you, because Ivar only did it to get a reaction, but…”

“I don’t know how to help him,” Ragnar admits, and Bjorn can hear the fear in his voice. “I have tried to get him to talk to people about what happened, but he won’t let anyone help him. He is so angry, with me, with you…”

“It isn’t your fault. Aslaug did this to him. Not you.”

“I sometimes wonder if I should have let him go with her.”

Bjorn is shocked to hear his father speak these words, but he isn’t shocked to find that he has been thinking them. Ivar has been so angry with the world, that perhaps it would have been easier to not put up a fight, to simply have let him go with Aslaug. Perhaps then he would have been happy. But Bjorn also knows that Ragnar wouldn’t have been able to let one of his sons go, that he wouldn’t have been able to just say goodbye to him.

“You couldn’t have done that. You love him.”

“I know,” Ragnar sighs. “But I want him to be happy, I hate seeing him angry, lashing out at everyone around him. And what he has just done to you… I am so sorry, Bjorn.”

“It would have come out sooner or later,” Bjorn shrugs, but he still feels like his insides are being wrangled, and the fear he had been feeling earlier is starting to turn into anger. “I just wish I would have been able to tell you myself.”

“So now that the secret is out… should we move the king size bed back in?”

“No,” Bjorn laughs, before looking over his shoulder. He can see Halfdan through the window, talking to Ubbe and Athelstan, and it brings a smile to his face, but he is also fully aware of the conversation he and Halfdan had had before Ubbe’s call. Or rather, the non-conversation they had had. “We’re not… I don’t know.”

“That boy is in love, Bjorn,” Ragnar says, and Bjorn looks back at his father. “Trust me.”

“We kissed,” Bjorn blurts out, a big grin forming on his father’s face. “But he’s not…”

“Not what?” Ragnar asks, but Bjorn just shrugs his shoulders, not sure what he was going to say, because he isn’t sure of anything anymore right now. “Talk to him. You think me and Athelstan would have ended up where we are now if one of us hadn’t said something?”

“Which one of you was it?”

“Who do you think?” Ragnar laughs, the big grin still on his face.

“If mum finds out me and Halfdan…”

“Lagertha will get over it.” Ragnar rolls his eyes. “Stop making excuses, Bjorn.”


	6. Chapter 6

After getting back to the cottage, Bjorn and Halfdan had had a drink, but they hadn’t even discussed what had happened. Bjorn had still been thinking about his conversation with Ragnar, and Halfdan simply hadn’t known what to say. He had been feeling too guilty about it, because he had been the one who had kissed Bjorn as he had gotten into his car that afternoon. If he hadn’t kissed him, Ivar wouldn’t have seen anything. Then he hadn’t known, and he hadn’t been able to tell his family.

So they had had a quiet drink, before going to bed, this time in their own separate beds again. It had just happened, without discussion. But when Bjorn had woken up, it had bothered him, more than it should have. And Halfdan can’t help but notice that he is being distant, even as they are halfway through their run, and they are getting to the clearing.

“Are you upset about last night?”

“I am,” Bjorn admits, but then he realises that Halfdan is talking about what had happened with Ivar, with his family, not about what had happened later. So he sits down in the grass, and when Halfdan joins him, he looks at him, wondering if he should tell him why he is so bothered, or if he should simply try and run it off. But before he can fully think it through, Halfdan’s next words hit him like a ton of bricks.

“I’m sorry I kissed you.”

“What?”

“If I hadn’t kissed you… Ivar saw us, because I kissed you.”

“What he did wasn’t your fault, or mine. We should be able to do whatever we want to do without him using it to hurt me. He is a little…,” Bjorn begins, but he swallows back the rest of his words, because he doesn’t want to talk about Ivar. Not now. But he can’t get himself to ask Halfdan why they hadn’t shared a bed last night, or why they hadn’t kissed. Why they had gone their separate ways again.

So he simply gets up, gets out of his clothes, and he gets into the water. It’s a warm day out, but he knows that they won’t have many more days like these this year, so they might as well enjoy it while they can.

Halfdan watches Bjorn for a moment, not sure if he should join him in the water today. There is something different about him today, something angry. After last night, he can understand his anger, but it feels like there is more to it. So he wonders if he should head back to the cottage and leave him to it.

Bjorn can see Halfdan getting up, and he expects him to get out of his clothes, to join him in the water. But he realises that he is about to turn and leave instead.

“Where are you going?”

“I thought you might want to be alone.”

“Why?” Bjorn asks, but he knows why. He knows what he has been like all morning. “Don’t go, please.”

Halfdan can see Bjorn’s face growing softer, so he decides against leaving. He quickly gets out of his sweaty clothes, and he gets into the water. He is fully aware that this place has a special meaning to Bjorn, that he has his own memories here. But Halfdan has only ever come here with Bjorn, even during those long days alone, he wouldn’t dare come here on his own. And to him this has become ‘their’ quiet place, hidden in the woods, far away from everyone else. And although they have been here dozens of times before, it still gives him chills, every time they get here. Every time he gets into the water, every time he realises just where he is, who he is with.

Bjorn can’t help but smile as he watches Halfdan’s chest flare up, his neck. There is a dark blush on his cheeks, and Bjorn can’t believe he is still this shy, after all this time. He swims up to him, but when he reaches him, Halfdan is avoiding his eyes.

“I like you, Halfdan,” he whispers, afraid if he speaks the words any louder, they will become harsh, and they will become dangerous.

“What happened to not having this conversation?” Halfdan whispers back, a nervous smile on his face.

“My father said…”

“Your father?” Halfdan laughs, and Bjorn realises that he is making it sound like they are only having this conversation because of Ragnar.

“I just…,” he sighs, but then he places his hand on the side of Halfdan’s neck, and he finally looks him in the eyes. “I want you to know...”

“I know, Bjorn,” Halfdan says, his lips forming into the smallest of smiles. He leans in, and he kisses Bjorn, and although they had shared a kiss before, this time it feels different. Bjorn can feel that nothing is holding him back anymore, and when Halfdan wraps his arms around him, pressing their naked bodies against one another, he can feel that the hesitation, the fear, which had been there before is gone.

* * *

Bjorn is about to get into his car to get to work, when the door to the villa opens. He half expects his father to come out, but when he sees Ivar, heading out to get to school, something inside of him snaps. Last night he had been raging on the inside, and although he had told his father that one day it would have come out anyway, the anger is still there.

“You!” he yells out, making his little brother jump up. But Ivar quickly puts on a brave face, and he comes up to him. But before he can even try to be clever, Bjorn has slammed him into the car.

“What you did last night…,” Bjorn spits out, Ivar trying to hide how scared he is, but failing miserably. “You had no right, taking that away from me!”

“I…”

“I was going to tell them when I was ready! And you took that from me!”

“I didn’t mean…”

“I will never forgive you for what you did last night,” Bjorn spits out, the words seeming to linger in the air for the longest time. But then he lets go of Ivar, and for a moment he considers letting him walk away. But then he sees the arrogant smirk on his little brother’s face, and he knows that he thinks he has won. Yet again. And before he knows it, he has punched Ivar in the face, making him slam back into the car.

“I’m telling dad about this!” Ivar cries out, grabbing onto his face. But Bjorn just shrugs his shoulders, before pushing him out of the way, so he can get into the car. He watches as his brother runs back into the villa, but he can’t be bothered with any drama, so he quickly heads off to work, hoping that it will help to take his mind off things.

But when he gets there, he finds Torvi waiting for him, a disappointed look on her face.

“You punched Ivar?”

“How do you…”

“Ubbe called me,” Torvi explains. “He asked me to keep an eye on you, after what happened last night. Are you okay?”

“No,” Bjorn admits. “I just punched Ivar, Torvi.”

“It sounds to me like he deserved it.”

“He’s just a kid.”

“It’s Ivar, Bjorn. He can take it.” Torvi shrugs. “Now tell me, how do you feel?”

“What do you mean?”

“Now that your family knows.”

“Relieved, I guess,” Bjorn says, as his ex leads him over to the changing rooms. “Guilty, for not telling them. That they had to find out like this. But relieved.”

“I’m proud of you,” Torvi says, and she wraps her arms around him, giving him a big hug. “and from what Ubbe told me, so is your family. Especially Ragnar.”

“I should have told them sooner.”

“You think?” Torvi laughs, as she lets go of him. “Go on, get changed.”

* * *

It’s Halfdan’s first shift at the pub today, and he is terrified of having to work with Lagertha. This morning, when Bjorn had still been at home, he had been fine. But the minute he had left, reality had sunk in, and he had even considered packing up his things and leaving. But he knows that he should be grateful to Lagertha for giving him a chance, and the fact that Ragnar is willing to giving him a chance, and still let him live at the cottage, even though he knows about his past, it means the world to him. He can’t just throw that away.

But Bjorn had noticed how nervous he was, he had even burned their dinner. So he had offered to come with him for his first shift, and after they have just gotten ready, they are now heading to the car.

But they find Ragnar waiting there, and Bjorn can only imagine what he has to say, after what had happened with Ivar that morning.

“I’m sorry, dad, I…”

“I’m not here because of what you did to your brother,” Ragnar says. “I wish you wouldn’t have hit him, but… well, we all know he had it coming, don’t we?” he adds, keeping his voice down.

“Is he…?”

“He’ll be fine,” Ragnar shrugs, an uninterested look on his face. “But I’m only here to wish you good luck tonight,” he then adds, looking at Halfdan. “and if Lagertha gives you any trouble…”

“She won’t,” Bjorn quickly says, a grin forming on his father’s face. “He is just messing with you.”

“You’ll be alright,” Ragnar says, before giving Halfdan, whose legs are shaking with nerves, a quick pat on the arm. “Relax.”

“Come on, let’s go, or we’ll be late.”

“You don’t want to be late, Lagertha will kill you!”

“Dad!”

* * *

Halfdan was expecting to have to scrub floors, toilets, do all the rotten jobs that nobody else wants to do. But Lagertha had put him behind the bar, and she had given him a quick run through of how everything works. But Halfdan has no previous experience, and the thought of having to work behind a bar, when he was expecting to scrub floors, it is giving him even more anxiety than he has already been having all day long.

Bjorn can see Halfdan running around behind the bar like a mad man. He looks scared, panicked, and every time someone calls out to get his attention, he seems to grow redder. Lagertha is watching him from a distance, and all Bjorn wants to do is go over to her and tell her to go and help him, but he knows that she is testing him. So all he can do is keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn’t run.

* * *

“I didn’t think you had it in you,” Lagertha admits, after she has locked the pub door, hours later. Halfdan is still standing behind the bar, his clothes soaked through, his hair sticking to his head, but he is still standing, and not once has he asked for help. Bjorn has a big grin on his face, and he isn’t even trying to hide how proud he is of him.

“Let me get this straight,” Lagertha continues. “I do not trust you, Halfdan. Your brother swore that he would do whatever it takes to take this place from me, from Ragnar, and for all I know this is his plan. Placing you in our family… inside the pub…”

“I…”

“But my son trusts you, and so does Ragnar,” Lagertha says, and both men can see that it pains her to say these words. “That is why you are here.”

“I know.”

“He isn’t going to mess this up, mum,” Bjorn says, as Halfdan finally steps out from behind the bar. “I told you, he isn’t like his brother.”

“I hope you’re right, Bjorn. I really do.”

* * *

Halfdan has been quiet ever since they have left the pub, and Bjorn knows that Lagertha’s words have gotten to him. He wishes he could make his mother’s suspicion go away, but he knows that it’s going to take time. But seeing Halfdan going back into his shell, and seeing the shame written all over his face, in the way he carries himself, it makes him feel sorry for him, because he knows how badly he wants to get away from his past.

“How about a drink?” he suggests, when Halfdan comes down the stairs, after having taken a shower. But Halfdan ignores him, and he just joins him on the couch, a tired look on his face. “What my mum said… she doesn’t…”

“She does mean it.”

“She just doesn’t know you yet,” Bjorn says, as he wraps his arm around the other man’s shoulder. “Give her time.”

“I’m just tired.”

“No, you’re not. You’re upset, and I get it. But I mean it, Halfdan. Just give her time. Once she gets to know you… she won’t be able to resist you,” Bjorn says, and although Halfdan knows that he is being teased, he can’t help but smile. “You know I will fight her for you, don’t you?”

“Shut up.”

“No, I mean it.”

“Stop it,” Halfdan laughs, but Bjorn just wraps his arm around him tighter, glad to see him laughing again. Glad to not see him so broken down anymore.

* * *

It had taken Bjorn and Halfdan a week or two to get used to Halfdan now having to work almost every night, to him coming home in the middle of the night. A few times he had been too exhausted to join Bjorn for a run, and the first days Bjorn had woken up as Halfdan had come home, and it had left him too exhausted to focus at work the following day. But they are finally getting used to things, and things are starting to fall into place again.

As the alarm goes off, Bjorn quickly grabs his phone, hoping that it hasn’t woken Halfdan up. But he can already feel him stretching and turning around, and when he looks up at him, he opens his mouth to speak, but he ends up yawning again.

“Go back to sleep,” Bjorn whispers, before kissing him, hoping that Halfdan will do as he is told, and he won’t even remember this when he wakes up later today. But Halfdan mumbles something, and he shakes his head. “Are you sure? You got in late, and…”

“Give me a minute.”

“Okay,” Bjorn laughs, Halfdan already closing his eyes again. But when Bjorn wants to get out of bed, Halfdan wraps his arms around him, refusing to let him leave. “Halfdan, I have to…”

“Stay.”

“I want to go for a run.”

“Stay,” Halfdan repeats, still not letting go of him. Bjorn can’t help but smile, and he has to admit that staying in bed for just a moment longer is tempting. He can go for a run tomorrow, so why not?

He kisses Halfdan, half expecting him to fall asleep again in a minute or two, but when he feels Halfdan’s hand starting to make its way towards the lower part of his stomach, he already knows where this is going. After Halfdan had rejected him, the night when he had gotten drunk at the pub, he hadn’t tried to take things any further than kissing. He had simply been too nervous, too embarrassed to get rejected again.

He is both relieved and excited to have Halfdan making the first move now, but he can feel him hesitating, and his hand is shaking with nerves. So he places his own hand on Halfdan’s, and he slides it down towards his dick, hoping to not have misunderstood his intention.

“Is this…,” he whispers, but he is cut off by a kiss, and he can feel Halfdan’s hand grabbing onto his dick. He had been imagining this for months, every time he had quickly and quietly gotten himself off in the shower, but to actually feel Halfdan’s hand on his dick, it is nothing like it had been in his mind. He thought he would be careful, he thought he would be fumbling, perhaps even too shy to do something like this at all. But while he is obviously nervous, there is something determined in his touch. It is clear that he has been thinking about this, that he knows what he is doing, and to have him make the first move, it makes Bjorn feel like his heart is about to beat out of his chest.

He closes his eyes, but just as he feels like he is fully about to give over control to Halfdan, he feels him moving away from him. He opens his eyes, and he finds Halfdan sitting up, staring down at him, his face flushed, but his lips are curling up into a smile, and there is a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“What are you…?”

Before Bjorn can even finish his question, Halfdan has thrown the covers off them, and Bjorn’s first instinct is to cover himself up. Sure enough, they have been naked around each other dozens of times, but to lie here on his back, with an erection, while Halfdan is staring down at him, it makes him feel vulnerable, and every bit of confidence he usually has is slowly leaving him.

“Don’t,” Halfdan says, and he pushes Bjorn’s hands away. Bjorn knows that he can, and should trust him, so he rests his hands on the bed, now fully exposed, Halfdan still staring down at him, but not making a move.

It feels like he is lying there forever, but in reality Halfdan only stares down at him for a moment longer, before he leans down to kiss him. He then sits back up, and he grabs hold of Bjorn’s dick again, but the fact that there is nothing to cover them up, to protect them, it makes it all the more real for Bjorn, and when he looks down, and he sees Halfdan’s hand touching him, he knows he has to look away. Because if he looks, if he truly thinks about what is happening, he knows he won’t last much longer. And what would Halfdan think then?

But when he looks up at Halfdan, he sees a knowing smile, and it makes him kick himself for wondering what Halfdan would think. Of course he wouldn’t care, he wouldn’t judge. This is Halfdan.

So he looks down again, his heart skipping a beat when it hits him yet again, that it is truly Halfdan’s hand which is touching him right now. That this is not just his imagination, this time it is really happening. But seeing it, out here, in the open, it is enough to send him over the edge, and he quickly looks up, to see Halfdan’s reaction, half expecting to find shock, disappointment, disgust even. But Halfdan has the shyest smile on his face, his chest and neck now a dark red colour.

“I ehm…,” Halfdan manages to bring out, and he shows his hand, a slightly uncomfortable look on his face. But Bjorn leans over, and he grabs his shirt from last night from off the floor, and hands it over to him. Halfdan quickly wipes his hand on the shirt, before handing it back over to Bjorn, who uses the shirt to clean himself up, but there is such an uncomfortable tension in the room, that when he looks up at Halfdan, they just burst out laughing.

“Come here,” he laughs, before throwing the shirt back on the floor, and Halfdan lies back down in his arms, the heat now radiating from his body.

“Now you can go for a run,” Halfdan says, and Bjorn can’t help but smile, as Halfdan closes his eyes and rests his head against his chest.

“Nah, I think I’ll stay with you, if that’s okay.”

“Whatever.”

“Whatever?” Bjorn laughs, and without even seeing Halfdan’s face right now, he knows that he has a grin on his face.

“Whatever.”

* * *

Halfdan is watching Bjorn dancing and jumping around with his brothers, the biggest grin on his face. He seems so happy, so free, that Halfdan just wants to leave him to it. After the last months, they can all do with a break, and although he had been hesitant to go to this concert at first, he is glad he decided to come along. Even if only to see this side of Bjorn.

But when he feels an arm wrapping around his waist, he jumps up.

“Don’t worry, it’s just me,” Torvi laughs. “You’re not into all that?”

“I was just getting drinks,” Halfdan says, but they both know that he is just making an excuse. That he has been standing here, watching Bjorn, Ubbe and Hvitserk for minutes. Torvi flashes a knowing smile, her arm still wrapped tightly around his waist, but then she sighs. “You look tired,” Halfdan says, and Torvi raises an eyebrow.

“Thanks!”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean…”

“No, you’re right. I’m still on edge, even though I haven’t heard from Erlendur since you…,” Torvi begins to explain, but she still remembers how upset Halfdan had been after he had beaten Erlendur up, so she swallows back the rest of her words, and she looks out at the young men jumping around.

“Is Ubbe still staying with you?”

“Most nights, but I just haven’t been feeling like myself these last few weeks,” Torvi admits. “Maybe it’s just all starting to come out now.”

“Maybe you should get in there and join them,” Halfdan suggests, nudging his head into the brothers’ direction. “I bet it would make you forget about everything.”

“Maybe,” Torvi laughs. “but only if you join me!”

“But what about…,” Halfdan begins, but before he can even try and grab the drinks, Torvi has grabbed his hand. She drags him over to the brothers, and Halfdan still isn’t sure about interrupting their time together, but as soon as Bjorn sees him, the grin on his face grows even bigger.

“I was wondering where you had gotten to,” Bjorn yells into his ear, the music almost drowning out his voice. Halfdan is about to explain that he has left the drinks at the bar, but when Bjorn pulls him in for a kiss, right there in the middle of the crowd, every single thought leaves his mind. For just a moment, it is just the two of them and the music.

“I love you,” he blurts out, but when Bjorn just flashes a big smile at him, he figures the music must have drowned out his words. So he simply smiles back, before turning to face the stage. But Bjorn wraps his arms around his waist, and he pulls him close, before bringing his mouth up to his ear.

“I love you too.”

* * *

It had been long after midnight by the time the concert had ended, and although the plan had been for Bjorn, Halfdan and Hvitserk to go home, Torvi had suggested they’d all stay at the apartment with her and Ubbe instead. The apartment is much closer to the venue, and that way they can still get a good night’s sleep, and go home in the morning. But once they had arrived at the apartment, they had crashed down on the couches, and Torvi had opened a bottle of wine.

It is getting later and later, and it is getting clear that none of them will be getting more than just a couple of hours of sleep now. Bjorn is even considering still getting into his car and going home. But when Torvi gets up, trying to stifle a yawn, before going into the bedroom to grab the spare covers and pillows, Bjorn knows that he has missed the opportunity to make an excuse and leave.

“How are we…,” Bjorn begins, as he, Halfdan and Hvitserk get up from the fold-out couch. He had been there as they had picked it out, and he and Torvi had bought it for when one of his brothers would stay over for the night, but the fact that he is now the one to sleep on it, while Ubbe is sharing a bed with Torvi, it still feels a little uneasy somewhere deep down inside of him. But he knows that he is still getting used to how things are now, that with time, all these feelings will go away.

“Hvitserk is staying with us,” Ubbe says, as he helps Bjorn fold out the couch. Bjorn looks up for a moment, but when he sees Torvi staring at him, daring him, he decides to keep quiet. Ubbe and Hvitserk quickly say their goodnights, before disappearing into the bedroom, and Torvi turns to leave, but then she turns back around.

“If you need anything, you know where it is,” she says, a mischievous smile on her face, before turning to leave again.

“Torvi?”

“Mhm?”

“Are you trying to get through all my brothers now?” Bjorn asks, and Torvi shakes her head, smiling to herself.

“Very funny. Goodnight, boys.”

“Goodnight, Torvi,” Halfdan says, and Torvi gives a little wave, before going into the bedroom, and closing the door behind her.

Bjorn turns to face Halfdan, and he is about to kiss him, but then he sees a look in his eyes which he can’t quite place.

“What is it?”

“Are they…?”

“What?” Bjorn laughs.

“It doesn’t matter,” Halfdan mumbles, before getting out of his clothes, and lying down on the couch. Bjorn joins him, but even in the dark, he can see that Halfdan is still thinking, still wondering.

“Nothing is going on in there,” Bjorn laughs, keeping his voice down so the others won’t hear him. He can see the embarrassed look on Halfdan’s face, but it just makes him love him more. “But then… Ubbe and Hvitserk did used to have threesomes with Ubbe’s old girlfriend, so you never know…”

“What?” Halfdan asks, and Bjorn can’t help but laugh at the shocked look on his face. “They did?”

“Sure.”

“How do you even know that?”

“After Ubbe dumped her, she went around and told everyone. It was a whole thing last year…,” Bjorn shrugs, trying to keep a straight face, but when he sees Halfdan’s face, he can’t contain his smile any longer. “Is that a blush, Halfdan?”

“What? No!”

“It is,” Bjorn laughs. “Have you never done it?”

“Done what?”

“A threesome.”

“No!” Halfdan says, the blush on his cheeks growing even darker. “Have you?”

“No,” Bjorn laughs. “I’m only messing with you.”

“So they’re not…”

“I don’t know. That’s not my business, is it?” Bjorn whispers, before kissing Halfdan. Halfdan returns the kiss, but there is hesitation in his kiss, and when Bjorn tries to slide his hand into his pants, he stops him.

“I’m sorry, I…”

“Not here,” Halfdan whispers. “We’re on Torvi’s couch…”

Bjorn knows that Halfdan is right, so he simply gives him another kiss, before rolling onto his back and looking up at the ceiling.

“I helped pick out this couch,” he whispers, not even sure why he is telling Halfdan this. But when he looks, and he finds Halfdan staring at him, he just bursts out laughing, the absurdity of lying here, in his old apartment, on the spare sofa, now fully hitting him. “We should…”

“We should what?”

“My dad and Athelstan have a spare bed in the shed… it’s still new… king size…”

“What are you suggesting, huh?” Halfdan asks, trying to keep a straight face, but when Bjorn leans over and starts kissing his neck, he can’t contain a smile. “This bed… you had nothing to do with buying it, or picking it out, did you?”

“No, why?” Bjorn asks, looking back up at Halfdan, whose smile is growing bigger, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “What?”

“You know this couch is terrible, don’t you?”


	7. Chapter 7

When Bjorn had arrived at work today, he had discovered that Torvi had taken the morning off, which is nothing like her. She hasn’t been herself for weeks, and it had only gotten worse since the concert last week. Now that she is even taking time off work, it is really worrying Bjorn, and when the door opens and Torvi comes in, her eyes red from crying, he quickly apologises to his client, before running over to her, and leading her to a quiet place so they can talk.

“What’s wrong? What happened? Is it Erlendur? Is he back? I can…”

“No,” Torvi says, her voice small, shaky.

“What’s wrong, Torvi?” Bjorn asks again, his heart starting to beat faster, because this is so unlike her. Even when she’s upset, she normally manages to hide it. So to see her like this, it terrifies him, because he can only imagine how bad it must be for her to let her mask slip.

“I can’t tell you.”

“Do you want me to call Ubbe?”

“No!”

“Has he done something?” Bjorn asks. “Have you gotten into a fight?”

“No. He can’t…,” Torvi begins, but then she has to stop talking, because she is getting choked up. Bjorn wraps his arms around her, holding her tight, but he can feel her pulling away, so he quickly lets go of her again.

“Tell me, please. Maybe I can help. Or tell my mum. I can call her…”

“I’m pregnant, Bjorn,” Torvi blurts out, and a long silence follows. “I haven’t been feeling like myself for weeks, so I went to the doctor this morning, and…”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“And?” Bjorn asks, not sure how to react, because he can see how upset Torvi is. “Is this a good thing?”

“I don’t know, Bjorn. Ubbe, he is…”

“Only twenty,” Bjorn says, and his ex nods, before taking a deep breath, trying to calm herself.

“And Ragnar and Lagertha were younger than that when they had you,” Torvi says, and Bjorn can’t help but smile, as he takes her hand in his. “and they did a great job, so…”

“Have you told him?”

“Not yet. I know he would be a great father, but…”

“This is your decision, Torvi. If you’re not ready, or you don’t want to have this baby…,” Bjorn begins, but when Torvi pulls her hand away, he knows he has upset her. “I’m not trying to tell you what to do, I’m just saying, take your time, and think about what it is that you want. Think about what is best for you, for Ubbe, for this baby.”

“There is nothing to decide, Bjorn,” Torvi snaps.

“I didn’t mean…”

“I know what you meant, and I know you mean well, but I am telling you, there is nothing to decide,” Torvi repeats. “I am almost five months along.”

“No,” Bjorn blurts out, lowering his eyes to Torvi’s flat stomach. “That’s not… they must have made a mistake. You are…”

“They say it happens sometimes,” Torvi explains. “If I hadn’t gone to the doctor today, I might not even have known until the baby was born.”

“Come here,” Bjorn says, not knowing what else to say, and he wraps his arms around his ex, holding her tight. “Whatever happens, I am here for you, okay?”

“You think Ubbe is going to leave me when he finds out?”

“No! Ubbe is going to step up, and he is going to be an amazing father.”

“I don’t want to tell him,” Torvi whispers, Bjorn’s arms still around her, holding her tight. Holding her safe. “We haven’t even… it’s not…”

“Tell me.”

“I don’t even know if what we have is serious. For all I know he is still seeing other people,” Torvi admits. “We haven’t discussed it yet. We haven’t discussed where we stand, what we want… if we want to have children…”

“Ubbe isn’t going to leave you, Torvi,” Bjorn reassures his ex, but he knows that Ubbe is young, and although he is in love with Torvi now, who knows what might happen when things become too serious, too grown-up?

“I can’t tell him.”

“Do you want me to tell him?”

“No,” Torvi says, Bjorn finally letting go of her. “He has to hear it from me.”

“Do you want me to be there?”

Torvi hesitates for a moment, trying to be strong, determined, but then she nods.

“Okay, now come on, I’m taking you home.”

“But I…”

“You’re going home, Torvi. You can’t work like this.”

* * *

When Bjorn had shown up at the cottage that afternoon with Torvi, they had to explain to Halfdan what was going on. Torvi had been too upset to tell him, but the minute Bjorn had told Halfdan, he had wrapped his arms around her, and he hadn’t let go of her. And even now Torvi seems to have calmed her nerves a bit, Bjorn can still see Halfdan keeping an eye on her. It means the world to him, knowing that Halfdan cares about her. Because Torvi might be his ex, but she is also his best friend, and if she and Halfdan wouldn’t have gotten along, if Halfdan hadn’t cared for her, he knows that things between them wouldn’t have been able to work out.

“I should let Ubbe know that I’m here,” Torvi says, already reaching out to grab her phone from the table. “but what should I tell him?”

“Tell him I’ve invited you over for dinner. Invite him too.”

“Dinner? Here?”

“Halfdan can cook, you know?” Bjorn laughs, a shy smile on Halfdan’s face. “We don’t have to tell Ubbe tonight, we can just have a quiet dinner.”

Torvi hesitates for a moment, but then she grabs her phone, and she starts typing away. It only takes a moment for Ubbe to reply, and when she reads his message, she gets a guilty look on her face.

“What does he say?”

“He was already on his way to the gym. But he’s now coming here. What if…”

“What?”

“I’m scared, Bjorn. I don’t want to be a single mum,” Torvi admits, the façade she had managed to put up, crumbling down within moments. Bjorn can see the girl he had met all those years ago, who had been abandoned by her family, who had no one, who was struggling just to get through every day. Who was, and still is, a fighter. But who is still terrified to be left, to be abandoned, like she had been by her family, all those years ago.

“Whatever happens with Ubbe, you still have us, my mum, my dad, Athelstan… you think they will let you out of their sight once they find out you’re pregnant?” Bjorn asks, and it brings a small, shy smile to Torvi’s face. “You’re their daughter, Torvi. Blood or not.”

“I have no idea how to do any of this, I…”

“You will learn, Torvi. You think my parents had any idea, before I was born?” Bjorn asks.

“I think you are going to make a great mum,” Halfdan says, and to have this man, who was a stranger up until a few months ago, say these words to her, breaks something inside of Torvi, and tears start falling from her eyes. “I’m sorry, I did not mean…”

“No, it’s… these are good tears,” Torvi laughs. “Thank you.”

* * *

Halfdan and Torvi are in the kitchen, preparing dinner, when Ubbe steps into the cottage. He has no idea what has happened that day, and when his brother comes up to him, he gives him a hug, before he starts complaining about the traffic, about work. But when he sees that his brother isn’t listening, he keeps quiet, and he follows him to the kitchen.

“I didn’t know we were…,” he begins, as he wraps an arm around Torvi’s waist, but when she pushes his arm away, he steps away from her, a worried look on his face.

“What’s going on?”

“Nothing, I’m just tired,” Torvi quickly says, but Bjorn can see that she is avoiding his brother’s eyes. And he knows that Ubbe is smart enough to see right through her lie.

“Why are we here?” Ubbe asks, turning to his brother. “What am I missing?”

“They invited us over for dinner,” Torvi tries, but when Ubbe looks back at her, she breaks.

“What is going on, Torvi?” he asks, before wrapping his arms around her. “Talk to me.”

“I can’t.”

“She’s pregnant,” Bjorn says, not sure if this is the right time, the right place, if it’s even his place to tell Ubbe. But he knows that sometimes it’s better to just get it over with, and to not walk around with a secret and drag a thing like this out.

“You’re pregnant?” Ubbe asks, letting go of Torvi, who looks up at him, but she doesn’t say a word. “Are you?”

“Yes.”

Bjorn can see the big smile forming on his brother’s face, and a sense of relief washes over him.

“We are going to be parents?” Ubbe asks, and Torvi nods, a hesitant look on her face. “Are you sure? Did you do a test?”

“I’m sure.”

“Why are you…,” Ubbe then begins, the smile leaving his face. “You’re not happy. You don’t want to have this baby?”

“I do, but…,” Torvi says, but then she looks at Bjorn. Ubbe sees it happening, but he takes it the wrong way, and he sits down on the couch, burying his face in his hands.

“It’s his?” he asks, so much hurt in his voice, that Bjorn can feel his heart breaking for him. “I thought…”

“You are going to be a father, Ubbe. It’s not mine.”

“Then why…”

“Because I’m scared,” Torvi admits. “I don’t know if you’re ready, if you’re too young, if what we have is… what this is to you.”

“You’re my girlfriend, Torvi,” Ubbe says, a confused look on his face, as he looks up at her. “I love you.”

“I love you too, but I need to know if this is what you want. Because if you want out, I need to know now. I can…”

“Marry me,” Ubbe blurts out, and a long deadly silence follows.

“What?” Torvi finally asks. Ubbe gets up, and Bjorn half expects him to leave the cottage, to need a moment to think about what he has just been told, about what he has just blurted out. But he kneels down in front of Torvi, and he grabs her hand, a nervous smile on his face.

“Marry me.”

“You don’t have to do this, Ubbe,” Torvi says. “I don’t need…”

“Marry me,” Ubbe repeats. “I love you, and I want to do this right.”

Torvi looks up, at Bjorn, and he can see the hesitation in her eyes, the fear. But he knows that Ubbe means it, that he wouldn’t do this if he had any doubts. So he gives a small nod, and he flashes a reassuring smile, and as she takes a deep breath, she looks down at Ubbe, who is still kneeling down in front of her.

“Okay,” she says, her voice so shaky that Bjorn isn’t even sure if he has heard her right. But when Ubbe gets up, and he kisses her, before wrapping his arms around her, Bjorn knows that she has accepted his proposal. Halfdan comes up to him, a big smile on his face, and it makes Bjorn wonder if perhaps this is in their future, one day. But he quickly tries to push down the thought, because how can he think about proposals, about marriage, children, when they haven’t even made things official yet?

“I love you,” he whispers, before wrapping his arms around Halfdan’s waist, and pulling him close. But when he sees the look in his eyes, there is something in there that makes him wonder if Halfdan had been thinking the same thing. “Do you think we…”

“What?” Halfdan whispers, a knowing smile on his face. He raises an eyebrow, daring Bjorn to speak the words, but Bjorn just kisses him, knowing that there is no need to rush. They will have this conversation, but not today. Not yet.

* * *

There had been no dinner, because Torvi had been too emotional, too tired to eat. So Ubbe had taken her to the apartment, and he had stayed with her. Bjorn had texted him to check on Torvi, but he had only gotten a quick text back, and he is still worried. So he had skipped his morning run, and instead, he decided to go over to the apartment.

But when Ubbe lets him in, he finds Torvi sleeping on the couch, her face drained from all colour.

“How is she?”

“She didn’t sleep last night,” Ubbe sighs. “I think it’s the shock.”

“It wasn’t planned then?” Bjorn asks, and his brother flashes a small smile, but he looks tired, and Bjorn wraps his arms around him, giving him a big hug. “I’m proud of you, brother.”

“For not using protection?” Ubbe asks, and Bjorn can’t help but smile.

“You are going to be a great father,” he says, as he lets go of his brother.

“Did you think I was going to walk away?”

“No,” Bjorn says, but then he nods. “Maybe.”

“I would never walk away from my child, Bjorn. After what my mother did to us… whatever happens between Torvi and me, I will never abandon my child,” Ubbe says, tears starting to form in his eyes. He has never spoken about Aslaug to anyone, except for Hvitserk and their counsellor. Whenever anyone else tried to talk to him about his mother, he would walk away, or he would shut down. Bjorn is proud of him for finally talking about her, but he wishes it wouldn’t hurt him to do so. He wishes he would still have his mother in his life, as he himself has Lagertha. It almost makes him feel guilty for still having his mother in life, for being able to give her a call, go and see her whenever he wants.

“Do you miss her?”

“Sometimes,” Ubbe admits, as they go into the kitchen and sit down at the table. “Last year this woman showed up at work, and she looked just like my mother, and I just…”

“You thought she had come back?”

“I just don’t get it. How can a mother abandon her own children?” Ubbe asks. “I know she wanted to take Ivar, but she didn’t even want to take us with her. It’s like she just didn’t care.”

“She did love you,” Bjorn says, but he can see by the pain in his brother’s eyes, that he knows better. “I don’t know why she did it, Ubbe, but it wasn’t because of anything you did. She just…” he sighs, as he grabs his brother’s hand.

“I know it wasn’t our fault, but the fact that she was willing to take Ivar with her, and not us… I can’t explain how that still makes me feel, Bjorn. And I wish I hadn’t found out about that.”

“Did dad tell you?”

“No, but me and Hvitserk came home early one day, and we overheard dad and Athelstan talking about it. We didn’t tell Sigurd, but after the wedding, and Aslaug came back, Ivar told him.”

“How did Ivar find out?”

“I don’t know,” Ubbe admits, “but you should have seen Sigurd. He wasn’t even angry, or hurt. It’s like he knew, before he even found out. He knew Aslaug was… he hates her, Bjorn.”

“Is he still getting help at school?”

“Just some counselling,” Ubbe shrugs, “and as long as no one mentions her, he is fine. He is happy. But when Ivar mentions her, they end up going head to head, and we have had to pull them off each other several times.”

“Have you ever thought about trying to find her?” Bjorn asks, but his brother just shrugs. “Do you think it would help them?”

“She would probably end up leaving again. Hurting them all over again.”

“I wish I could have done something.”

“You were just a kid yourself,” Ubbe shrugs. “Besides, dad is much happier with Athelstan. I doubt he would have been happy if my mother had stayed.”

Ubbe realises that Bjorn is staring at him, but he can’t quite place the look in his eyes.

“What? You think I’m wrong?”

“No, that’s not… I was just thinking how much you remind me of dad.”

“Really?” Ubbe laughs, not sure what his brother is trying to say.

“I think you are going to make a great father, Ubbe.”

“I hope so,” Ubbe admits, and Bjorn can see that he is nervous. Terrified even. “I don’t want to mess this up.”

“You’re not going to mess it up,” Bjorn reassures him, before a grin forms on his face. “and if you do, you can always have another. Try again.”

“What? Like Ragnar did, after you?”

“Exactly!”

* * *

When Halfdan is about to leave for work that night, he finds Alfred sitting in the grass, his legs pulled up to his chest. Even from a distance Halfdan can tell that he is shivering, so he takes off his jacket, and he puts it around the teenager’s shoulders, as he sits down beside him.

“What are you doing out here?”

“Ivar and Sigurd have been arguing all day,” Alfred says, his eyes still focused on the villa. “I just needed to get away from them for a minute.”

“It must be mad in there,” Halfdan says, a small smile forming on the teenager’s face. “You can stay at the cottage if you want, if you need to get away from them for a few days, or weeks. There’s room enough, we can…”

“Thank you, but I think they will end up killing each other without me there,” Alfred says, and he is about to open his mouth to say something else. But when screaming can be heard coming from inside the villa, he just sighs, and he closes his eyes for a moment, before getting up. “I should get back.”

“The offer stands, Alfred. If you need a break…”

“Thank you, Halfdan,” the teenager says, before quickly handing him back his jacket, and returning to the villa. Halfdan watches him go inside, before heading to his car to get to work. And although he knows that Ivar fights with his brothers, there is a feeling in the pit of his stomach that tells him that things are about to get worse, if Ivar won’t get help soon.

* * *

“What are you doing here?” Halfdan asks, when Bjorn shows up at the bar just before closing time.

“I couldn’t sleep, so I thought I’d come pick you up,” Bjorn explains, and when he sees the blush on the other man’s face, he can’t help but laugh. “Come here,” he says, before leaning over the bar, and giving Halfdan a kiss. “I’ll leave you to it, okay?”

He heads over to a table, leaving Halfdan to deal with the last customers.

“What was that, huh?” Ragnar laughs, as he joins him at his table, a big grin on his face. “Does this mean that you and him are…”

“No, it doesn’t,” Bjorn laughs, looking over his shoulder, to make sure Halfdan isn’t listening.

“But I just saw you...”

“I know,” Bjorn quickly says, but then his father just shakes his head, rolling his eyes, before getting up to get back to work. But before he walks away, he hits his son in the back of the head, making him jump up.

“What was that for?” Bjorn cries out, more out of shock than anything.

“You know what that was for, Bjorn. You’re an idiot!” Ragnar says, before walking off, leaving Bjorn sitting there, unable to object, unable to defend himself.

“Why don’t you head off home?” Ragnar says, when he gets back behind the bar. “I’ll finish up here.”

“Are you sure? I don’t mind staying. I didn’t even know Bjorn was coming, so…”

“Go on, go home.”

* * *

“What’s with the worried look?”

“When I left, Alfred was outside, trying to get away from your brothers’ fighting again,” Halfdan says. “I said he could stay at the cottage, but…”

“He is like you, he always feels like he is a burden to people,” Bjorn explains. “When he first moved in, he didn’t even want to take a bed. He offered to sleep on the couch, so Sigurd would still have his own room.”

“He said if he would leave, your brothers would end up killing each other.”

“He shouldn’t get involved in their fighting,” Bjorn sighs. “My father and Athelstan try their best, but when they’re at work… Ivar is clever, Halfdan, he knows how to get a reaction from my brothers, especially Sigurd.”

“What if Sigurd moves in with us? If they aren’t living with each other, then maybe…”

“Then he’ll move on to Hvitserk, or Alfred,” Bjorn shrugs, as he drives onto his father’s land. “and before you suggest it, Ivar isn’t moving in with us!”

“I wasn’t going to,” Halfdan laughs. “I feel sorry for him, but I do not want to live with him.”

“Good, because if he is moving in, I am moving out. I love you, but…”

“Not that much?” Halfdan laughs, and Bjorn looks at him, a smile on his face, but he doesn’t answer. He parks the car, and they get out, ready to go home to the cottage. But as they walk past the large patch of grass, Bjorn notices something that catches his eye. He almost ignores it, but something draws him to it, and as he goes to check it out, he realises that there is a figure lying in the grass.

It’s a dark night, and only after Halfdan has gotten his phone out, and he turns the flashlight on, do they realise that it’s Sigurd. But he isn’t moving, and his hair is stuck to his face with blood. Bjorn can feel his legs nearly giving out underneath him, and it feels like the world is frozen for the longest time.

But when Halfdan crashes down besides Sigurd, and he starts checking him over, starts checking for a pulse, Bjorn snaps out of it, and he grabs his phone. He calls for an ambulance, but he has no idea what has happened, how his brother has gotten here. And as he looks around, he realises that they are near the rocky patch. Sigurd must have slipped on the rocks and hit his head. But how long has he been here? How long has he been unconscious for? Are they too late? Is he going to come out of this alive?

“Bjorn!” Halfdan cries out, after Bjorn has hung up the phone, and he is starting to zone out again. “Give me your jacket!” he orders, already having put his own jacket on Sigurd’s chest and arms, trying to warm him up, but his legs are still freezing cold.

Bjorn does as he is told, and he watches as Halfdan carefully lays his jacket down over his legs.

“Is he…”

“He’s breathing,” Halfdan says, but he checks the wound on the teenager’s head again, and when the bright light of Halfdan’s phone lights up his brother’s face, Bjorn has to look away. He can’t stand the sight of the blood, the pale skin of his brother’s face. The thought of something happening to his brother, to any of them, it’s too much to bear, and he can feel himself starting to panic.

But when his brother’s eyes open, a confused, dazed look in them, he kneels down beside him, and he grabs his hand.

“You’re going to be okay,” he says, reaching out to help him sit up, but Halfdan stops him.

“Not until the ambulance is here,” he says, “They need to check him over, stabilise him.”

“What… where is…,” Sigurd begins, but when they hear sirens in the distance, he keeps quiet, and he closes his eyes again.

“Sigurd?”

“Mhm?”

“What happened?”

“Nothing,” Sigurd says, but when Bjorn looks at Halfdan, he can see that they are both thinking the same thing. But there is no time to discuss it, because Halfdan gets up, and he goes over to the ambulance, to let them know where Sigurd is. And within seconds, there is nothing but chaos, because Bjorn had been so worried about Sigurd, that he hadn’t even thought about telling his family about what had happened. But when they hear the ambulance, they come storming out of the villa, and just as they are about to carry Sigurd into the ambulance, Ragnar comes home from work, and he finds the chaos at home.

* * *

“It’s taking too long,” Bjorn whispers, making sure his brothers won’t hear him. Halfdan grabs his hand, and he squeezes it tight, but he doesn’t say anything. “It’s been hours, Halfdan. What if he…”

“He is not going to die, Bjorn. They just need to do tests, make sure he is okay.”

“Why haven’t they told us anything?”

“Your dad and Athelstan are with him,” Halfdan whispers, still squeezing his hand tight. “If it had been bad, they wouldn’t have…”

“What if they are in there, deciding…”

“Bjorn, Sigurd is going to be okay, do you hear me?” Halfdan whispers, trying to hide how scared he is. Bjorn looks up at him, and he nods, but there are tears in his eyes, and when he looks down, and he sees the blood on Halfdan’s hands, he struggles to hold his tears back.

“What happened to him?” Ubbe asks. He had been at Torvi’s, but Hvitserk had called him, and he had shown up at the hospital just as they all had. Torvi had wanted to come with him, but after not sleeping last night, he would rather she stayed at home. But Bjorn keeps hearing Ubbe’s phone buzzing, so he knows that Torvi isn’t asleep, that she is wide awake, just as worried as they all are. “How the hell did he end up there?”

“He must have slipped,” Bjorn says, even though he has stopped believing it himself. But what else can he say?

“How?” Hvitserk asks, and he sits up, freeing himself from underneath Ubbe’s arm. “It’s the middle of the night. What was he doing out there?”

“You were outside earlier,” Alfred says, looking over to Ivar. “Did you see him?”

“No, of course not,” Ivar spits out, and he gets up and storms off.

“Do you think…”

“He’s just worried,” Bjorn quickly says, and he can feel Halfdan grabbing his hand tighter. “But Sigurd was awake when they took him away, so…”

“He is going to be okay,” Halfdan says, trying to flash a reassuring smile, but Bjorn can feel that his hand is shaking.

A doctor comes over to them, and Bjorn tries to prepare himself for the worst, especially when he sees the look on her face. He is already wondering how his brothers will react, what he can do to help them, what this will mean for their family. But the doctor flashes a small smile as she sits down with them.

“Your brother is just getting some rest,” she says, “but he is going to be fine. We are going to keep him in for observation, but…”

“And his head?” Hvitserk asks, still upset, after having seen his brother’s head covered in blood.

“It looked worse than it is,” the doctor says, flashing a reassuring smile. “Now, your dads are with him right now, but once he has gotten some rest, I will ask him if he is up to seeing you, okay?”

“What happened to him?” Alfred asks, but Bjorn can see the guilty look on the doctor’s face, and he knows that there is something she is not telling them.

“Did he fall?” Ubbe asks. “What did he say?”

“We aren’t sure what happened to your brother yet. But I have to get on now, so…,” the doctor says, “I will come see you when I find out more, or when your brother is ready to see you.”

“Thank you,” Bjorn says, trying to hide how worried he is after seeing her face just now. Because what is she hiding? What does she know about what happened to Sigurd?

* * *

It’s been hours, and the others have fallen asleep in their chairs, but Bjorn and Halfdan are still awake, still waiting to find out more. They haven’t spoken for the longest time, but Bjorn can see that Halfdan is stuck in his head, that he is thinking about something, and that it is upsetting him.

“What is it?”

“Nothing,” Halfdan says, “I was just wondering how long it will be.”

“He’s just sleeping,” Bjorn says. “But that’s not what you were thinking about. Tell me.”

“I was thinking about my brother,” Halfdan admits. “If something like that would happen to him…”

“Why don’t you go and see him?”

“He would only try to draw me back in,” Halfdan says. “Last time I saw him…”

“That was months ago,” Bjorn cuts him off. “Have you even spoken to him since then?”

“Once or twice, but he’s still the same, Bjorn.”

“But you’re not. If he tries to get you to come back to work with him, just tell him you found a new job,” Bjorn shrugs. “Tell him you’re done with all that. Show him you’ve got your own life now.”

“How can I show him that though? Last time I told him I was done, he just laughed at me, told me I’d be back within weeks.”

“Invite him over for drinks. Maybe if he sees where you live, he’ll see that you’re not just making it up,” Bjorn suggests. “Besides, I’d like to meet him.”

“You can’t meet him, Bjorn. If he finds out we’re more than friends, he’ll…”

“What? He’ll threaten me?” Bjorn asks, keeping his voice down, even though his brothers are fast asleep. “Let him. I’m not scared of him.”

“Perhaps you should be.”

“I’m not, Halfdan. And neither should you be,” Bjorn sighs. “If you miss your brother, just give him a call, invite him.”

Halfdan has a hesitant look on his face, but then he just smiles, and he shakes his head.

“My brother would kill me if he found out you were not just my roommate.”

“I’m not?” Bjorn asks, a mischievous smile forming on his face. “What am I then?”

“You know you’re not,” Halfdan says, and he awkwardly nudges the other man in the ribs with his elbow. “I love you.”

“So we’re…”

“Yes, Bjorn,” Halfdan laughs. “We are.”

* * *

“What the hell happened?” Hvitserk asks, as soon as they have all entered Sigurd’s room. They were only supposed to visit him one at a time, but they had ignored the doctor, and had all stormed in as soon as the doctor had left.

“I slipped,” Sigurd says, but he is exhausted, and has no energy to put into the lie. Bjorn can see the worried look on his father’s face, but he knows that this isn’t the time or place to talk to him about it.

“What were you doing out there anyway?” Ubbe asks. “It was the middle of the night! You could have cracked open your skull, broken your neck!”

“I didn’t, did I?” Sigurd mumbles.

Bjorn looks over his shoulder, and he sees the pale face of his youngest brother.. Last night a thought had crossed his mind, and he knows that Halfdan had been thinking the same thing, but they hadn’t discussed it, not with the others there. But with the way Ivar has been acting lately, the guilty look on his face, Bjorn just knows that he has something to do with this.

“What happened?” he asks, and Sigurd sighs.

“I told you, I slipped.”

“Let’s not do this, not here,” Ragnar tries, but before he can, Ivar has stepped forward.

“I hit him.”

“You did what?” Ubbe spits out, ready to jump him right then and there. But Hvitserk holds him back, and he leads him over to the other side of the room.

“We got into a fight, and I hit him,” Ivar admits. “I didn’t mean to hurt him, I just…”

“You could have killed him!” Ubbe says, and Hvitserk has to hold him back again, but it isn’t his brother’s anger that is catching Bjorn’s attention, it’s his father’s silence.

“You knew, didn’t you?” he asks, and Ragnar nods. “Were you going to let him get away with it?”

“Of course not! But I am not willing to lose any of you, Bjorn!” Ragnar says. “If anyone here finds out…”

“I will call the police myself. You should be locked up for what you did,” Hvitserk says. “What happens next time you get angry? You murder us in our sleep, huh?”

“You thought I wanted him dead?” Ivar asks. “I didn’t mean to hurt him.”

“You hit me with a rock!” Sigurd says. “You left me there! If Bjorn and Halfdan hadn’t found me…”

“I know that,” Ivar mumbles, a guilty look on his face. “But I didn’t want you dead, Sigurd.”

“You need help, Ivar,” Ragnar says, as he steps up to his son. “You are so angry… I am scared of you,” he admits, “Of what you might do one day.”

“I didn’t mean…”

“But you did,” Ragnar interrupts him. “You could have killed him, Ivar. You need to talk to someone, and no games this time. No lies.”

“And if I don’t do it?”

“Then I am calling the police myself,” Ragnar says. Bjorn can see that it kills his father to have to do this, but he knows that after what has happened, he has no other choice. If Ivar doesn’t get help, if he doesn’t start talking, things will only get worse.

“You have got to do this,” Ubbe says. “You need to start talking about her.”

“This isn’t about her!” Ivar spits out, but by the rage in his eyes, just in that comment, it is so clear what it hiding within him. “It isn’t…”

“Please,” Bjorn says. “You can’t go on like this. Don’t you want to be happy?”

“I didn’t mean to hurt him,” Ivar tries again, but he is starting to crumble, and when is father wraps his arms around him, the tears start falling from his eyes.


	8. Chapter 8

Bjorn had taken a few of days off work after what had happened with Sigurd, to help around the house, but he is starting work again today, and although it has only been a matter of days, it feels like he has been gone for weeks. He feels so out of it, that he is glad to be able to go on a break. Torvi joins him, and Bjorn is glad to find her looking much better than she had done last week.

“How is Sigurd?”

“He’s tired, but he’ll be fine,” Bjorn says. “But there’s such a tension at home… I still can’t believe Ivar hit him. I mean, I suppose I should have seen it coming, but…”

“No one could have seen that coming, Bjorn. There’s a difference between arguing, and hitting someone over the head with a rock, and then leaving him to die,” Torvi says, as she takes Bjorn’s hand in hers. “Ubbe told me he has agreed to talk to someone?”

“I hope he won’t try to outsmart them this time.”

“I wish Aslaug knew what she has caused, how much she has hurt them,” Torvi sighs.

“I doubt it would make a difference to her, she only cares about herself. Her own happiness. That is why she left.”

“I can’t imagine ever leaving this one,” Torvi says, bringing her free hand to her stomach. “Even if he turns out to be like Ivar,” she adds, and Bjorn can’t help but smile.

“It’s a he then?”  
”I don’t know, we’re not finding out until the baby is born,” Torvi says, “but I think it’s a boy. Ubbe thinks it’s a girl.”

“I still can’t believe you’re having a little Torvi or Ubbe in just a few months,” Bjorn says, the proud smile on his ex’s face growing. “Imagine if I had told you last year, that you would be with Ubbe, and you’d be having his baby…”

“And you would be living together with Halfdan,” Torvi adds, and she can’t help but notice the blush on Bjorn’s face. “I’m glad you told me, Bjorn. I would have hated for you to become one of those unhappy men, stuck in a marriage, just because you didn’t want to hurt me by coming out to me.”

“But I did hurt you.”

“Look at me, Bjorn, I am pregnant, I’m engaged… I am happy,” Torvi says, as she squeezes Bjorn’s hand.

“So how’s the wedding coming along?”

“You think I’m planning a wedding?” Torvi laughs. “I’m having a baby, Bjorn, in just a few months!”

“Yeah, I suppose you better start preparing for that first.”

“You think?”

* * *

Halfdan has just gotten back from getting the groceries in, when Ivar comes out of the villa. Ivar still makes him feel uncomfortable, especially after what happened with Sigurd, but he flashes a smile, and when he realises that Ivar is coming up to him, he stops to greet him.

“How are you feeling?”

“Guilty,” Ivar admits, a tired look on his face. “But I ehm… I just wanted to come and apologise for scratching your car the other week.”

“That was you then?”

“I’m sorry, I…”

“How about you help me get the groceries inside, then it’s forgotten about?” Halfdan suggests, and the teenager looks visibly relieved. Halfdan knows that scratching up a car deserves more of a punishment, but after last week, the car just isn’t important anymore. So why bother making a big deal out of it now?

“What are you making?” Ivar asks, as he looks into one of the bags.

“Just soup. You can stay for dinner if you like,” Halfdan suggests, but when he notices the uncomfortable look on Ivar’s face, he sighs. “Do you think Bjorn won’t want you here?”

“He hates me.”

“Your brother doesn’t hate you, Ivar. He’s just…”

“Angry.”

“Not even that,” Halfdan says, as they step into the cottage. “But what happened to Sigurd, it scared them. And I know it scared you too.”

“Yeah…”

“But they’re also proud of you, for agreeing to talk to someone,” Halfdan explains.

“I don’t want to hurt them,” Ivar says, and for the first time since meeting him, Halfdan can see behind the angry mask. “I just feel like they all hate me.”

“No one hates you,” Halfdan says, as they put the groceries down, and sit down at the kitchen table. “Why would you think that?”

“My mum left, after my parents had me,” Ivar explains. “She stayed for them, didn’t she? Then I was born, and she just…”

“She left because she had fallen in love with someone and she wanted to be with him, Ivar. It had nothing to do with you, or something you had done.”

“What do you know about it?” Ivar spits out, but then he looks down at his hands, a guilty look on his face. “I’m sorry.”

“You’re right. But have you ever talked to your dad about any of this? Or your brothers?”

Halfdan asks, but Ivar just shrugs his shoulders. “Why don’t you talk to Bjorn later? He was there, he remembers what happened.”

“He doesn’t care,” Ivar says, and for a moment, Halfdan recognises himself in the teenager. He had always put on a brave face, he had been angry, he had fought, but he had never felt like it was good enough for his brother. He had always felt like his brother had looked down on him, that secretly he hated him.

“Talk to him, Ivar.”

* * *

“What is he doing here?” Bjorn asks, when he sees Ivar standing in the kitchen of the cottage. He still remembers the conversation he had had with Halfdan before they had found Sigurd, and although Halfdan had said that he wouldn’t offer Ivar a place to stay at the cottage, he knows what Halfdan is like.

“I should go,” Ivar says, trying to hide how much his brother’s reaction is hurting him, but Halfdan stops him.

“Ivar is joining us for dinner.”

“Sure. I’ll just take a shower first,” Bjorn says, and as he goes up to the stairs, he hears Halfdan following him. “What is he doing here?” he whispers, as soon as they get upstairs. “Please tell me you didn’t offer him a place to stay.”

“I didn’t. But he apologised for scratching my car,” Halfdan explains. “and we started talking.”

“He talked to you? Really?”

“Yes. But you should talk to him, Bjorn. He is hurting,” Halfdan says. “He thinks Aslaug left because of him. He thinks you all blame him for it, that that is why you hate him.”

“What?” Bjorn asks, “No one hates him!”

“I told him that, but he…”

Before Halfdan can even finish his sentence, Bjorn has stormed down the stairs, where he finds his brother sitting on the couch, looking more than just a little uncomfortable.

“You think we hate you?” he asks, but before his brother can even open his mouth to answer, he goes on. “How can you even think that? Huh?”

“I see the way you all look at me.”

“And?” Bjorn asks, still not getting it. “None of us hate you, Ivar. You’re our little brother.”

“I know that, but…”

“You think we blame you for Aslaug leaving? You think dad blames you?” Bjorn asks, but his brother just looks away. “That had nothing to do with you! She left because of that guy, Ivar. She was being a selfish…”

“Shut up!”

“No. She left her family, to be with some guy. I don’t know how you can keep defending her.”

“Because she wanted to take me with her,” Ivar says. “She didn’t leave me.”

“Yet you think she left because of you?” Bjorn asks, but his brother just shrugs. “She did not leave because of you, Ivar. And no one is blaming you for her leaving.”

“She could have stayed though, couldn’t she?” Ivar asks, finally facing his brother. “If she cared enough, she could have stayed.”

Bjorn doesn’t know what to say, so he just sits down with his brother, and he reaches out to grab his hand. With his other brothers and his stepbrother he wouldn’t hesitate, but who knows how Ivar will react? Still, he grabs his hand, and he looks down at it.

“I know she didn’t come back for me,” Ivar admits. “I know she only came back to stop dad from marrying Athelstan.”

“I am sorry. I wish she…”

“Why?” Ivar asks, and Bjorn looks up, only to find him fighting against his tears. “Why were we not good enough for her?”

“I don’t know,” Bjorn admits. “Aslaug was… perhaps she just wasn’t ready to be a mother. But you know dad only stopped her from taking you with her because he loves you, don’t you? He couldn’t stand the thought of losing you. He never meant to stop you from seeing her, or…”

“I know.” Ivar nods, and Bjorn feels an overwhelming sense of pride, to have him finally opening up.

“And don’t ever think we don’t love you. You’re our little brother, and…”

“You’re stuck with me?”

“That too,” Bjorn laughs. “But we love you, okay? We don’t want to see you like this, we just want you to be happy. So next time you want to talk, you know where to find me, okay?”

Ivar nods, a hesitant look on his face, but Bjorn still feels like this is some kind of progress. And when he opens his arms to give his brother a hug, he is shocked to find Ivar not getting up and walking away, not looking at him in disgust, but giving him a big hug instead.

“Thank you,” he mumbles, and Bjorn can’t help but smile, hoping that this is only the first of many steps in the right direction. “I’m sorry, for telling them.”

“Huh?”

“That you’re gay,” Ivar explains, and Bjorn lets go of him. He had been so upset about it when it had happened, but after what has happened to Sigurd, this doesn’t seem important anymore. And when he looks into his brother’s eyes, he can tell that he is truly sorry, that he is ashamed of what he has done. “I shouldn’t have told them.”

“No, you shouldn’t have,” Bjorn sighs. “and I shouldn’t have punched you.”

“I deserved it.”

“You did,” Bjorn agrees, a shy smile on his brother’s face. “But I love you, okay?”

“Shut up.”

“I do. We all do.”

* * *

“Where is everyone?” Bjorn asks, when he and Ivar step into the villa, and they find only Ragnar sitting on the couch, a big bowl of popcorn in his hands.

“Hvitserk is at Torvi and Ubbe’s,” Ragnar explains, and just hearing the apartment not being called ‘Torvi’s’ anymore, but ‘Torvi and Ubbe’s’, it makes Bjorn realise that Ubbe must have moved in with Torvi. And although he has been staying with her for months, they hadn’t made anything official yet, so knowing that they haven taken this step, it makes Bjorn feel a sense of relief, because this means that his brother really isn’t backing out or running away from Torvi or the baby.

“And the others?”

“Athelstan has taken Alfred to see his mum, and Sigurd has been in bed most of the day. So it’s just me tonight,” Ragnar says, before offering his popcorn to his sons. “Where did you find this one?”

“He had dinner with us.”

“Really?” Ragnar asks, knowing fully well how much Ivar has hated his brother for the last years. How much he has tried to avoid him. “How did it go?”

“I’m going to bed,” Ivar mumbles, “I’m tired.”

He leaves the room, and Bjorn sighs, before joining his father on the couch.

“What really happened?” Ragnar asks, keeping his voice down so Ivar won’t hear him. “What has he done?”

“Nothing. Halfdan invited him over for dinner, and he accepted the invite, that’s it.” Bjorn shrugs. “But he thinks we all hate him, dad. He thinks we blame him for Aslaug leaving, but as soon as you say a bad word about her, he just…”

“Yeah, I know,” Ragnar sighs.

“I’m not sure he even knows how he is feeling about everything that has happened himself,” Bjorn whispers. “But he seems different.”

“If he goes on like this, there is only one way he is heading, and he knows it. What happened with Sigurd… he knows that nothing like that can ever happen again. He knows he needs to change, before it’s too late.”

“I just wish we could have stopped it from happening.”

“You think I haven’t tried?” Ragnar asks, a hurt look on his face. “I have spent day and night…”

“I know,” Bjorn quickly says. “I’m not saying you haven’t tried, but I just feel like we all failed him. Like I failed him.”

Ragnar can see the pain in his son’s eyes, but he knows that there are no words he can say to fix this. So he wraps his arms around him, and he pulls him close.

“I know I’ve never thanked you, for helping out after Aslaug left, but…”

“That was Athelstan, dad, not me,” Bjorn mumbles, and his father can’t help but smile as he lets go of him.

“I know Athelstan helped, but so did you. More than you know. Being there for your brothers, even for Ivar after he…” Ragnar sighs, but then the smile returns to his face. “They are lucky to have you, Bjorn. We all are,” he adds, but he can see that his son is struggling to accept the compliment, that he doesn’t know what to say. “You are going to make a great father one day, you know that, don’t you?”

“A father?” Bjorn laughs, “No, I don’t think I…,” he begins, but when he sees the knowing smile on his father’s face, he knows that there is no point in denying that he has been thinking about the future a lot lately. That since Torvi announced her pregnancy, he has been wondering if he will ever be a father, or if he has missed his chance.

“I know you miss her,” Ragnar says, and Bjorn can feel his body turning to ice. “You would have been a great father to her, if Porunn had…”

“I told her to leave, dad. I didn’t go after her, I didn’t… I’m just as bad as Aslaug,” Bjorn admits, never having spoken those words out loud before, but he knows that the thought has crossed his mind hundreds if not thousands of times before. “I left my daughter.”

“What happened was not your fault, Bjorn,” Ragnar says, before taking his son’s hand in his. “Porunn chose to lie to you, she…”

“I could have let them stay, raised her as my own.”

“Then what? You would have grown to hate Porunn for what she did to you, your daughter would have grown up in a house full of hate, full of resentment… You gave her a chance at a normal life, Bjorn. And yourself too. Look at the years you’ve had with Torvi, now with Halfdan. If you had stayed with Porunn, you would have never met them. Besides, Porunn could have still left you. She could have taken your daughter from you after four years, ten years…. What would that have done to the kid, huh?”

“I know,” Bjorn sighs, and although he can hear his father’s words, and they do make sense to him, he still feels like he has abandoned his family. So what right does he have, trying to start a new family? Trying to be happy.

“You were a great father to that little girl, and you know, deep inside, that you are going to be a great father to another child some day,” Ragnar says. “But promise me one thing.”

“What’s that?”

“Don’t rush into it. Just try and enjoy what you have with Halfdan. Give yourself a chance to be happy, okay? Before you…”

“Ruin it?” Bjorn asks, a shy smile forming on his lips.

“Before you have to start thinking about diapers, feedings… just enjoy what you have now,” Ragnar says. “And thank you, for talking to Ivar. I know he has not shown it, but he really looks up to you.”

“Sure,” Bjorn laughs, but when he sees the look on his father’s face, he realises that it wasn’t a joke.

“They all do, Bjorn.”

* * *

Although Ivar had agreed to talk to someone after he had hit Sigurd, and he had changed since that day, there had been a tension in the house, and everyone had seemed to walk on eggshells, not only around Ivar, but around Sigurd. It had taken weeks for things to go back to normal, as far as that was possible after what had happened.

But now that things are finally settling down at the villa, and Bjorn doesn’t have to put all of his time and attention into his family, he is starting to realise that something has changed between him and Halfdan.

There had been an excitement between them, there had been flirting, there had been the promise of something more. But he had been so focussed on his family, that he hadn’t realised that Halfdan has been putting a distance between them, that he is starting to crawl back into his shell.

Now that Bjorn is spending most of his time back at the cottage instead of the villa again, he can feel the distance though, so he had tried to ask Halfdan out on a date, he had brought him back flowers, he had kissed him, over and over again, trying to show him he still cares. Trying to show him he loves him, and he wants things to go back to the way they were. But he can’t seem to reach him, and it hurts more than he would ever admit.

Halfdan has just gotten home from work, and Bjorn can hear him coming up the stairs, trying to be as quiet as possible, trying not to wake him up. But Bjorn hadn’t been able to sleep, he had been worrying about Halfdan, about why he is withdrawing. So when Halfdan gets into bed, he turns to face him, not even trying to hide the hurt on his face.

“I thought you were sleeping.”

“I can’t,” Bjorn admits. “I’m worried.”

“About your brothers?”

“About you, Halfdan. What is going on?”

“Nothing.”

“Please don’t lie to me,” Bjorn whispers. “If you’re tired of this, of me, just tell me, but don’t do this. Please.”

There is a guilty look on Halfdan’s face, but he doesn’t explain, he doesn’t apologise.

“Have I done something to upset you? If I have, just tell me so I can make it up to you.”

“You haven’t done anything. I just…”

“What?”

“What if I can’t do this?” Halfdan whispers, his voice small, scared. “What if my brother was right about me?”

“What are you talking about?” Bjorn asks, as he reaches out to touch the other man’s arm, but Halfdan flinches, so he sighs, and he rolls onto his back, as things are starting to make sense to him. “Have you spoken to him?”

“I called him, after Sigurd’s accident,” Halfdan admits. “I told him about my job at the pub. I didn’t tell him what pub, because… you know what he did, so…”

“What did he say?”

“He laughed.”

“That’s why you’re upset? Because he laughed at you for having a proper job?” Bjorn asks, but when Halfdan doesn’t answer, he turns to face him again, and he can see the tears in his eyes. “What else did he say?”

“I told him about you, about your family… I did what you told me to do, Bjorn, and you know what he said?”

“What?”

“He said, ‘Just wait until they find out who you really are, brother.’. And you know what, he is right. If your family finds out what I’ve done, they will…”

“You think they give a fuck about what you’ve done?” Bjorn spits out. “After everything this family has been through, you beating the living daylights out of people is the last thing they…”

“I almost killed someone. I saw the way they all looked when they found out what Ivar had done. But he’s a hurt kid, he made a mistake. He didn’t mean to hurt Sigurd. I meant to hurt that guy, and if my brother hadn’t dragged me off of him…”

“You’re not that guy anymore, Halfdan.”

“You saw what happened with Erlendur,” Halfdan says, his voice shaking. “I can’t change who I am, Bjorn. My brother is right.”

“No, he isn’t.”

“You don’t know who I am, what I…”

“Have done? What you’re capable of? You think I haven’t done things I’m ashamed of? You don’t think I would change things if I could?” Bjorn asks, not feeling sorry for Halfdan, but getting angry, frustrated. “I love you, Halfdan. I honestly believe we can make this work, but if you want to keep feeling sorry for yourself, if you want to believe you’re not worth it, then fine, you can fuck off and go back to your brother.”

“I…”

“I am done, Halfdan, with trying to convince you that you’ve changed. I am not going to spend the rest of my life with someone who…”

“The rest of your life?” Halfdan asks, and Bjorn gets the smallest of smiles on his face when he realises what he has just said.

“I am in love with you, okay?” Bjorn sighs. “And yeah, I’m hoping we can build a life together. But not if you keep pushing me away every time you get scared. Every time your brother doesn’t take you seriously. Every time…”

“I’m sorry I’m no good at any of this.”

“And I am?” Bjorn asks, flashing a small smile. “I told you about my last two relationships, didn’t I?”

“This is the first time I’ve ever…”

“I know,” Bjorn quickly says, before bringing his hand up to the side of the other man’s face. “But this isn’t going to work if you keep pushing me away, or my family.”

“I’m scared to lose them,” Halfdan admits. “And you.”

“I told you when we met, we’re not so bad. We can all be pretty forgiving, you know?”

“I guess I’m also ashamed.”

“I know. But you’re not like that anymore.”

“I thought you were done trying to convince me?” Halfdan asks, and Bjorn can’t help but smile. “Thank you. I know I can be…”

“A little overdramatic?” Bjorn suggests, teasing Halfdan, as he slides his hand down towards his arm. “A lot of work?”

“I’m working on it.”

“I know.” Bjorn smiles, before giving him a kiss. “You came here to get away from your brother, to figure out who you are, away from him, away from that life. Don’t let him ruin this for you.”

* * *

“What is going on?” Hvitserk asks, when he sits down in between his brothers on the couch. “Why are we all here?”

“There’s something I need to tell you guys,” Bjorn says, feeling more nervous than he cares to admit.

“What, you’re gay?” Sigurd laughs, but when he sees the serious look on his brother’s face, he realises that this is no joke. “You’re not sick, are you?”

“No, I’m not. But there is something you need to know about Halfdan.”

“Is he okay?” Ragnar asks.

“Where is he?” Torvi asks, and Bjorn can’t help but smile when he sees how worried his family is.

“He’s fine. He’s just…,” Bjorn begins, and he looks at Ragnar, who has a knowing look on his face. He gives a small, approving nod, so Bjorn takes a deep breath, before continuing. “His brother is the guy who threatened my mum, who tried to take the pub,” Bjorn explains. “He ehm… Halfdan used to work for him.”

“He tried to take your pub?” Ivar asks, a confused look on his face. “And you let him live here?”

“I didn’t know he was Harald’s brother at the time,” Ragnar explains.

“Halfdan was the guy who did the dirty work for his brother,” Bjorn explains. “He threatened people, he beat them up… he almost killed someone,” he says, knowing that his family needs to know the full truth. He is waiting for a reaction, but there is a deadly silence, so he looks up, and he sees the surprised, and disappointed faces. “He moved here to get away from all of that, from his brother. To be himself, not just his brother’s…”

“That is why he was so upset after he hit Erlendur?” Torvi asks, her voice shaking.

“Why are you telling us?” Ubbe asks. “We knew most of this, didn’t we?”

“I didn’t,” Ivar says. “You’re dating a guy who almost killed someone! How do we know you are safe with him? If you get into an argument, how do we know he won’t hurt you?”

Bjorn can see the smile on his father’s face, because only weeks ago, Ivar couldn’t stand Bjorn, and now he is the one not even hiding his concern for him.

“He has never hurt me,” Bjorn says. “and he won’t.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because he is not that person. He is ashamed of what he has done, and I am telling you because he is terrified to lose all of you. He thinks that when you find out, you will hate him for it, and you won’t want to have anything to do with him.”

“Then why tell us?”

“Because I figured it’s better to tell you guys now, than to have you find out later.”

“What, like we had to find out from Ivar that you and Halfdan are…,” Sigurd begins, but when he sees the glare on his father’s face, he swallows back the rest of his words.

“Yes. I’m still sorry about that,” Bjorn sighs. “But I swear to you, Halfdan is a good man, and I hope you can accept his past and see him for who he is now.”

“We all deserve a second chance, don’t we?” Ragnar asks, and the brothers all subconsciously look at Ivar, who has a guilty look on his face. “A chance to make things right.”

* * *

Halfdan has just gotten back from work, and he is about to head over to the cottage, when Ragnar comes out of the villa. Halfdan is exhausted, and the last thing he wants to do is make small talk, but still he fakes a smile as Ragnar comes up to him.

“Why don’t you come with me for a moment?”

“I ehm…”

“Halfdan,” Ragnar says, his voice stern, warning almost. So Halfdan follows him into the villa, and he finds Bjorn and Athelstan sitting on the couch. There is a tension in the room, and when Ragnar tells him to sit down, he feels like he knows where this is going. He doesn’t even need to hear what they have to say. But before he can open his mouth to speak, Ragnar has already started talking.

“Bjorn told me about your brother, his work… what you did, some time ago,” he explains. “I can tell you are not that man, Halfdan, but let me tell you one thing.”

Halfdan nods, unable to take his eyes off Ragnar, unable to face either Bjorn or Athelstan.

“If you hurt my son… I will kill you. Do you hear me?”

“Yes, mister Lothbrok,” Halfdan quickly says, his heart nearly beating out of his chest.

“I told them,” Bjorn admits. “All of them.”

“I figured. I will leave. I’m sorry mister Lothbrok, mister…”

Halfdan feels himself getting choked up, but when he sees the small smile forming on Athelstan’s face, and he looks at Bjorn, and sees him shaking his head, smiling to himself, he isn’t sure what is happening anymore.

“You’re not going anywhere, Halfdan,” Ragnar says.

“But I thought…”

“No one wants you to go,” Athelstan explains. “You’re family now, and whatever you might have done in the past, it doesn’t matter.”

“Besides, you didn’t think I would let you leave, did you?” Bjorn asks, and the smallest of smiles forms on Halfdan’s lips. “I love you.”

* * *

Halfdan had expected there to be a change after the family had been told about his past, but nothing had changed. Except for Halfdan himself. He had allowed himself to open up more, to truly let himself believe that he could be a part of this family for a long time, that it wouldn’t all be ripped apart the minute they would find out about his past.

Bjorn had sensed the change in him too, and although he can still see the shame sometimes, he can tell that Halfdan is starting to find the person within himself which he had been meaning to find when he had first come out here.

They have just been out to dinner, and Halfdan had suggested they’d go for a drink after. Ragnar and Lagertha’s pub wasn’t an option, so they have gone to another pub, and they have just gotten their drinks in and sat down at a table.

“I was thinking…”

“What?” Halfdan laughs. “I know that look, Bjorn.”

“Remember what you told me, when we first met?”

“I told you a lot. I was nervous, and I was rambling, so…”

“You wanted to see the world, didn’t you?” Bjorn asks, an uncomfortable look on Halfdan’s face as he stares down into his glass. “Why don’t we go, after the baby is born?”

“I can barely make the rent,” Halfdan admits. “I told you, it’s just a dream, it’s not realistic for me.”

“What if it is?”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve been taking on extra clients,” Bjorn explains. “I did some extra work…”

“When?” Halfdan laughs. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I wanted it to be a surprise. It’s not much, but we can…,” Bjorn begins, but before he can finish what he was going to say, Halfdan has already kissed him.

“I love you,” Halfdan says, the biggest smile on his face. Bjorn is about to kiss him again, but when he sees the smile, together with all colour, leaving Halfdan’s face, he turns to see what is wrong.

A man he doesn’t recognise, is staring at them, an arrogant smirk on his tattooed face. For a moment, Bjorn assumes it’s just a random man staring at them. Until he looks back at Halfdan, and he sees the fear in his eyes.

“Is that…”

“Harald.”

Bjorn can hear the footsteps coming towards their table, and he can feel a part of him preparing for what is coming. Preparing for a fight, preparing for the words he might be about to hear. He can even feel a part of him preparing for losing Halfdan.

“I thought that was you, brother.” Harald smirks.

“I ehm…”

“And this is?”

“Bjorn,” Halfdan says, his voice shaking, but Bjorn can see that he is trying to hide how terrified he truly is. “My roommate. I told you about him.”

“Your roommate, huh?”

“Yeah.”

“Really?” Harald laughs.

“I’m sorry,” Halfdan mumbles, unable to face his brother any longer. He seems so small, so fragile, that all Bjorn wants to do is pick him up and take him home, away from the pub, away from his brother. But he knows he can’t, that this is something that can’t be stopped.

“Sorry?”

“I know you saw.”

“I did,” Harald laughs. “But why are you sorry? You thought I didn’t know?”

“You did?” Halfdan asks, looking back up at his brother.

“I’ve known since you were a kid, Halfdan.”

“But… I thought you’d…”

“What?” Harald asks. “You think I care? I’m angry with you for leaving and betraying me the way you did, but how can I be angry with you for this?”

“I’m sorry.”

“So you weren’t lying then?” Harald asks. “You’ve truly made a life for yourself out there? With him?”

“His name is Bjorn.”

Bjorn reaches out his hand, half expecting Harald to laugh at him, but instead, he shakes his hand, flashing a smile, before turning back to face his brother.

“It’s not too late to come back, you know?”

“I don’t want to come back.”

“It was worth a try, wasn’t it?” Harald laughs, but Bjorn can see that the rejection hurts. For a moment, he can see the man, the brother, behind the monster he had imagined him to be for months, and he realises that part of all of this has been about him missing his brother, about him trying to win him back. “You look happy, brother.”

“I am.”

“Good. Then I am happy for you,” Harald admits.

“How about you come over to dinner at ours some time?” Bjorn suggests. “You’re more than welcome.”

“I don’t think your father would be very pleased if I were to…”

“You know who my father is?” Bjorn asks, remembering what his mother had said, what Sigurd had said. What if this has all been a part of some kind of plan?

“I know exactly who you are, Bjorn Lothbrok.” Harald grins. “You didn’t think I’d let my brother move in with some family without looking into them, did you?”

“You knew I was living with the family whose pub you tried to take?”

“That’s why I tried to warn you,” Harald explains.

“That was you warning him?” Bjorn spits out. “You made him believe they would hate him if they knew who he was!”

“Do they know?”

“My family knows,” Bjorn says, before Halfdan can answer. “They know that he is not like you, Harald. That he is a good man, not some pathetic, low-life…”

“You love my brother?”

“Yes.” Bjorn nods, before grabbing hold of Halfdan’s clammy hand. “I love him.”

“Harald…”

“Good,” Harald says, “He can do with someone like you in his life. I’ll see you both around then?”


	9. Chapter 9

Harald had turned and left the pub without saying another word, leaving Halfdan and Bjorn sitting there, not sure what to say after what had just happened. So they had gone back to the cottage, where they had had a quiet drink, before going to bed.

But neither of them can sleep, and when Bjorn turns around, he looks straight into Halfdan’s worried eyes.

“I can’t believe he has known all along,” Halfdan whispers. “The things I have done, to hide it from him…”

“What did you do?”

“He kept throwing girls my way,” Halfdan admits. “So I slept with them, because I figured it was what he wanted me to do. To show him I was like him, you know? If he knew, why the girls, Bjorn?”

“Maybe he was hoping you would tell him you weren’t interested?” Bjorn shrugs. “Maybe it was his way of trying to get you to open up to him.”

“I have never been with a guy, because I was so scared he would find out,” Halfdan whispers. “A few years ago there was this guy, and I knew he was interested, but I tried so hard to ignore him, but he just… He kissed me, and you know what I did?”

“Was he the guy…?”

“If my brother hadn’t dragged me off of him, I would have killed him,” Halfdan admits. “How am I ever supposed to forget about that, huh?”

“You’re not going to forget,” Bjorn whispers. “But you can try to forgive yourself. Have you spoken to that guy since?”

“I did, when he was in the hospital. I tried to explain, but… I made up some lame excuse, but he knew. I could tell he knew.”

“What did he say?”

“He took my hand, and he begged me to get away from my brother. He wasn’t angry. He wasn’t even hurt. I could have killed him, and he just…!”

“Because he could tell that that wasn’t you.”

“It was, Bjorn. I chose to hurt him. My brother didn’t tell me to hurt him. I chose to do that.”

“You don’t see how everything your brother has done to you, said to you, led to that? You were scared.”

“That’s no excuse.”

“Remember what you said about Ivar? You called him a hurt kid when he hit Sigurd, you knew that he never meant to hurt him. Everything he’s been through, made him do that. You said that.”

“Yeah, but…,” Halfdan begins, but then he sighs, and Bjorn can tell that his words are starting to get through to him. “Thank you, for standing up for me.”

“I told you, didn’t I? I’m not scared of him. He is nothing more than a bully.”

“He is.”

“I’m proud of you.”

“Proud?” Halfdan laughs. “I just told you I…”

“Yes, proud,” Bjorn repeats. “Because look where you are. You did this. You chose to do this.”

“Shut up.”

“I mean it, Halfdan. You easily could have stayed where you were, hiding in your brother’s shadow, but you chose to step out and become who you really are,” Bjorn says, as he puts a hand on the other man’s chest. “Do you have any idea how brave that is? How much courage that takes? You are one of the strongest men I know, and…”

“Now I know you’re just talking…”

“No.” Bjorn says, his hand still firmly placed on Halfdan’s chest. “I mean it, Halfdan, look where you are. Look at the life you have now. Stop looking at the past.”

“That’s easy for you to say.”

“Easy? I hate myself for what I have done to Torvi,” Bjorn admits. “No matter how many times she tells me I have done nothing wrong, I feel like I have wasted her life. I feel like a liar, a fraud… My daughter is out there somewhere, and every single day I wonder what would have happened if I had stopped her mother from leaving. If Porunn has told her about me, if she thinks I have abandoned her. But I cannot let myself get stuck in hating myself.”

“I…”

“And neither can you.”

* * *

The leaves have started falling from the trees, and it’s freezing cold outside, still Bjorn and Halfdan had gone for a run, especially after what had happened last night. It helps release some of the stress, some of the pain. But as they reach the clearing, there is a tense silence, and when Bjorn turns to face Halfdan, he sees the tears in his eyes.

“Is this about…”

“You were right,” Halfdan says. “and this, it’s… I’m happy.”

“You don’t look happy,” Bjorn laughs, as he steps up to him.

“I am.” Halfdan nods, as he puts his hands on the other man’s hips. “I’m sorry I haven’t been…”

“It was going to come out some time, wasn’t it?”

“If I tell you something, will you promise me you won’t laugh at me?”

“That depends on what you tell me.” Bjorn flashes a small smile, but he can see that Halfdan is nervous, so he gives him a kiss, hoping that it will reassure him. “Tell me.”

“When Ubbe proposed to Torvi…”

“I know, Halfdan.”

“You do?”

“I was thinking, wondering the same thing,” Bjorn admits, a dark blush now on the other man’s face. “But I don’t want to rush this. You are the first man I have ever been with, and this…”

“This is my first relationship,” Halfdan awkwardly laughs. “But it feels…”

“Right?” Bjorn suggests, and Halfdan gives a quick nod. “Let’s see if it still feels right after you’ve spent Christmas with my family.”

“I think I’ll survive. After Christmas with my brother and his crew, your family…”

“Yeah, just wait!”

* * *

Bjorn has just gotten back from work, and when he gets out of the car, and the cold hits him in the face, he turns to rush to the cottage. But when he hears Sigurd crying out, he freezes in his tracks. He can’t get himself to turn and see what has happened though. Not yet. He still remembers finding Sigurd that night. He still remembers the fear he had felt, thinking his brother had died. And when he hears his brother’s cry ringing in his ears, the fear from that night starts creeping up on him again.

But when he hears Alfred’s laughter, followed by another cry from Sigurd, he knows he has to see what is going on. So he heads towards the sound, and when he finds his two youngest half-brothers and his stepbrother running around in the snow, acting like they are children again, he can’t help but laugh to himself. They are looking years younger than their years, they are laughing, like no bad has ever happened between them, and Bjorn can’t help but watch them.

They are unaware of his presence, so he watches them for a moment longer, before quietly turning and heading towards the cottage.

He is still smiling to himself when he walks in, and he finds himself wrapping his arms around Halfdan’s waist, and kissing his neck, feeling happy, relieved, like things are finally starting to fall into place.

“What has gotten into you?” Halfdan laughs.

“You won’t believe what I have just seen.”

“What?”

“My brothers, playing in the snow,” Bjorn says, but Halfdan just laughs at him. “I’m serious! Ivar, Sigurd and Alfred, they were…”

“Ivar and Sigurd?”

“They looked happy,” Bjorn says, shaking as head when he realises just how much these words actually mean to him. “I believed Ivar could change, but I didn’t think he and Sigurd would ever be brothers again, not really.”

Bjorn can’t help but notice the brightness in Halfdan’s eyes, in his smile, so he kisses him, before pulling him as close against him as he can, wanting to take in this moment, this happiness. This peace.

“I love you, Bjorn Lothbrok.”

Bjorn’s heart still skips a beat when he hears the other man say his name, and for a moment, he remembers the moment they had met. This stranger had been so nervous, yet he had been willing to open up to him, he had been willing to share his home. There had been a connection from the start, and although Bjorn had felt something stirring deep inside of him from early on, he couldn’t have imagined that this is where they would be today. He wouldn’t have dared to dream it.

* * *

It’s a few days before Christmas, and Halfdan had expected things to quiet down at the pub. He had expected people to be at home, with their families. But tonight has been even more of a rush than usual, and he can feel his shirt sticking to his back, as he watches Lagertha close up.

“I owe you an apology, Halfdan,” she says, when she turns to face him, still standing by the door.

“An apology? What for?”

“I was wrong about you,” Lagertha admits. “You are not who I thought you were.”

“Oh, it’s…”

“Fine?” Lagertha suggests, as she steps up to the bar. “It’s not. I assumed you coming into my ex-husband’s life, my son’s life, it was a part of some kind of plan. I assumed you were here because of your brother. I told Ragnar I was willing to give you a chance, but…”

“I don’t mind,” Halfdan quickly says, but Lagertha reaches out over the bar, and brings her hand up to the side of his face.

“My son was right about you.”

“You don’t know…”

“I do, Halfdan. I went and found your brother, some time ago now,” Lagertha admits. “I asked him if he had sent you.”

“What did he say?”

“He told me all about you. How you used to work for him, how you nearly killed a man,” Lagertha sighs. “Why you did it.”

“He knew?”

“He told me you were no longer working for him.”

“Did you believe him?”

“I could see he was hurting,” Lagertha explains. “So I knew he was telling the truth about you.”

“But he said…,” Halfdan begins, trying to wrap his head around what he is being told. “He told me that if you, if all of you were to find out about what I had done, you would hate me. You wouldn’t want me around anymore. Why would he say that, if he had already told you?”

“I don’t know.” Lagertha shrugs. “Perhaps he thought you would get scared and you would come back to him?”

“But if you know what I have done, why…”

“Why did I not tell my son?” Lagertha asks. “Because it was not my place to tell him. Besides, I figured you would tell him yourself.”

“I did.”

“I know you did.”

“Then…”

“I also know how much Bjorn loves you,” she continues. “How happy you make him.”

“Did he tell you that?”

“He doesn’t have to,” Lagertha laughs. “I know him. I have seen how much he has changed since he has met you.”

Halfdan isn’t sure what to say, how to feel about Bjorn’s mother saying these things to him. So he just watches her, finding himself waiting for it all to be a trick. But she flashes a knowing smile, before kissing his cheek.

“Thank you.”

“What for?”

“For making my son happy, Halfdan.”

* * *

“That’s it, what’s going on with you?” Bjorn laughs, when he notices Halfdan avoiding his eyes, every time he looks at him, later that night.

“Nothing!”

“What happened tonight? Was it some hot guy?”

“Shut up!” Halfdan laughs. “It was not some… it was your mother, if you must know.”

“My mother?” Bjorn laughs. “Should I be worried?”

“Not like that! I think she gave me her approval tonight.”

“I didn’t know you needed her approval.”

“I still felt like she hated me, Bjorn, and you know it. Tonight she apologised, and she told me she had spoken to my brother. I feel like…”

“What?”

“I am relieved,” Halfdan admits. “I feel like I can finally be myself, around all of you. I don’t have to pretend anymore.”

“Were you? Pretending?”

“With you I wasn’t. I couldn’t,” Halfdan admits, whispering the last part. Bjorn can see how nervous he is to admit this, he can see his chest, his neck flaring up, as he climbs into bed.

“I am glad. I fell in love with the real you, Halfdan. Not some made up story, or…” He joins Halfdan in bed, and he places his hand on his chest, Halfdan’s heartbeat thumping loud against his palm. He can tell that something in his eyes is changing, that a tension is growing between them.

“I want you, Bjorn,” Halfdan whispers, his voice so small, yet so determined, that Bjorn can’t help but smile. He kisses him, Halfdan’s hungry mouth more than willing to receive his tongue.

Halfdan grabs hold of his dick, and although they have touched each other before, this time it feels different. This time it is heading towards something else, and Bjorn can feel it in Halfdan’s touch, in him slowly pumping away, working to get him hard. It doesn’t take much though, because Bjorn catches himself fantasising about what is about to happen, and it is enough to light the fire inside of him.

But he catches the image inside his mind changing, he wonders what it would be like to be fucked by Halfdan, to have him inside of him. Would Halfdan be gentle? Would he be rough?

“Stop,” he hears himself say, and the other man looks up at him, a confused look on his face. “I want you to fuck me.”

“What? But I thought you said… when we discussed it, you said you wanted…”

“I changed my mind,” Bjorn admits. “Is that okay with you?”

“Do you even need to ask me that?” Halfdan laughs, before he kisses him with such a force, such an excitement, that Bjorn almost regrets not changing his mind about this sooner. But when they had discussed it before, he had felt nervous, and Halfdan had noticed it. Halfdan didn’t mind either way, and Bjorn had felt a sense of relief after they had had that conversation. But now the thought of being about to be fucked by Halfdan makes him feel such a rush, that he is starting to see stars.

He watches, as Halfdan reaches over to the bedside table, as he grabs the bottle of lubricant. Bjorn is almost getting lost in watching him, before realising that this is really going to happen. So he makes himself more comfortable, but he can feel himself starting to sweat, the reality now kicking in.

Halfdan kneels down in between Bjorn’s legs, and Bjorn stares up at him, unable to take his eyes off him as he watches him spread out some lubricant on his hand, on his fingers.

“Ready?” he asks, such a warm and caring look in his eyes, that Bjorn can feel a smile forming on his face, in spite of his nerves.

“I love you.”

“I love you too,” Halfdan whispers, and he leans down to kiss the other man, before sitting up again. Bjorn readjusts himself, spreading his legs, resting them on top of Halfdan’s legs. He takes a deep breath, as Halfdan gently pushes a finger into a him. And although it feels awkward, and a little uncomfortable, it isn’t as weird as he thought it would be.

“Is this okay?” Halfdan asks, as he pulls back his finger, before pushing it in again.

“It’s a bit…”

“Do you want me to stop?”

“Of course not,” Bjorn laughs. “I can take it.”

“I never said you couldn’t,” Halfdan laughs, as he pushes a second finger in, a grin forming on his face as he watches the strained look on the other man’s face. He doesn’t stop though, and when he pushes in a third finger, making Bjorn grunt, the grin on his face only grows bigger.

Bjorn can see the glint in Halfdan’s eye, he can see how much he is enjoying this. How long he has been waiting for this, how he has been fantasising about this just as much as Bjorn has.

He looks at his Halfdan’s hard dick, and a new rush of adrenaline rushes through him, when he realises it is going to be inside of him in a matter of moments. But when he looks up, and he sees the knowing smile on Halfdan’s face, he realises he has been caught out.

“Getting impatient?” Halfdan laughs. But he doesn’t make him wait any longer. He grabs the lubricant, and he spreads some out on his dick, but just the sight of Halfdan touching himself, it makes Bjorn’s heart race, and it makes him realise just how hungry he is for him. So when Halfdan gently guides his dick into him, he catches himself wanting more. Wanting all of him.

Halfdan seems to sense it, because he gives up on being gentle, and he pushes the full length of his dick into Bjorn, making him grunt, making him groan.

“Fuck, you are…!” Bjorn cries out, but the rest of his words disappear into another grunt, as Halfdan pushes into him again. He had been so nervous about this moment, he had even told Halfdan he did not want this, simply because he had been too scared. And although it feels like nothing he has ever felt before, nothing he could have imagined, he feels himself already longing for more.

Halfdan picks up the pace, and Bjorn can’t stop staring at him, at the way his muscles are straining, at the pleasure written all over his face, at the beads of sweat, forming on his chest. But when he looks down, and he actually sees Halfdan fucking him, for a moment the world stops. He truly realises that Halfdan is inside of him, that this man, who had been a stranger up until only a few months ago, is here, fucking him. That not only is Halfdan the first man he has been with, but he is the first man Halfdan has been with. That they are sharing this moment, this first time, right here, right now, with each other. That no matter what happens, they will always share this. This moment.

Bjorn grabs hold of his own dick, and he slowly starts pumping away, as Halfdan keeps fucking him. He can tell that Halfdan won’t last much longer though, so he lets go of his dick, and he lies back and focuses his eyes on the other man, on his face, on the subtle changes. On the small, soft moans that are coming from his mouth, as he tries to take it slow. But Bjorn recognises his own longing, his own hunger, in Halfdan’s eyes, so he gives a reassuring nod, and Halfdan can seem to read him as he usually can, because he starts fucking him harder, faster, and within moments, he comes, not taking his eyes off Bjorn for even a split-second.

Halfdan rides out his orgasm, before pulling out, and lying down next to Bjorn. Bjorn is about to grab his dick again, to finish the job, but before he can even reach out, Halfdan has already grabbed hold of his dick. He starts pumping away with a confident, determined goal, and Bjorn can feel his orgasm quickly building up. The fact that Halfdan is still keeping his eyes on him, not wanting to miss a second, it makes this even more exciting, and it doesn’t take long for him to come, making him squirt all over his own stomach.

He looks down, finally taking his eyes off Halfdan, but when he sees Halfdan leaning down, starting to kiss his stomach, starting to lick him clean, it makes him gasp for air, a whole new excitement building up inside of him.

“Fuck!” he cries out, as Halfdan places a trail of kisses from his stomach up to his chest, up to his neck. He then kisses Bjorn, and when Bjorn tastes himself on the other man’s tongue, he wants them to start all over again already, see what else Halfdan has been hiding.

But he can see the tired look on Halfdan’s face, so he kisses him again, before pulling him into his arms.

“Are you okay?” he whispers, but when Halfdan stares up at him with tears in his eyes, he already knows the answer.

“I am happy,” Halfdan whispers, his head resting on the other man’s chest. “I didn’t think I ever would be, but… I think for the first time in my life, I am truly happy, Bjorn.”

* * *

The family has all gathered together to spend Christmas Eve together, and they have just had dinner. The youngest brothers are clearing down the table, while the older brothers are picking out a game they can all play later. The house is filled with laughter, and excited chatting, but when the storm makes the windows of the villa creak, they all jump up.

All day it has been snowing, and as the night had fallen, and the storm had gotten worse, the roads had become impossible to travel. So Ragnar had already decided that Ubbe and Torvi are not going home tonight, that they will stay at the villa until it is safe for them to drive home again.

But as they all freeze in their tracks, and they look out, they fully realise just how bad things have gotten. They all quickly snap out of it though, and continue as they were.

“This is going to be a long night,” Bjorn laughs, as he watches Ubbe and Hvitserk pick out Monopoly from the stack of board games. “I am warning you, Ivar cheats, my father will try to play these mind games so you will sell him whatever you own, and those two… let’s just hope they don’t lose.”

“And you?” Halfdan laughs. “Should I be worried?”

“Don’t worry,” Bjorn laughs, before kissing him, and leading him over to the table. But when he sees a hint of sadness in his eyes, he brings his mouth up to his ear. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, it’s just… my family never did any of this. My brother and I got a present each on Christmas Eve, then on Christmas Day our parents made us watch whatever was on tv, and that was our Christmas,” Halfdan admits. “This…. It’s… I’m not used to this. It’s just a little…”

“Overwhelming?” Bjorn suggests, looking over to his father and Athelstan, at their hideous Christmas sweaters, which are still flashing their little lights every other second.

“A little.” Halfdan nods, a shy smile forming on his lips. “But this is how I had always imagined it to be, you know? This is what Christmas is supposed to be like.”

“And this is how it will be, every year, from now on.”

Bjorn can tell that his words mean the world to Halfdan, but when his family joins him at the table, he keeps quiet. The game is set up, and within minutes, they are all too focussed on the game to notice anything else.

But after a while Bjorn does notice something. He can tell that Ubbe is starting to fuss over Torvi, who is looking flushed and uncomfortable. She is fidgeting in her chair, and Bjorn can see the beads of sweat on her face. Ubbe seems to notice too, because he is whispering something in her ear, but she shrugs it off, and she keeps her eyes on the game.

But only moments later, she gasps for air, and they all, except for Ivar, Sigurd and Alfred, who are arguing on whether Ivar is cheating or not, look at her.

“I’m sorry, I’m…,” Torvi begins, but she grabs her stomach, and they all jump up and start fussing over her. She tries to swat them away though, even Ubbe.

“Is it happening?” Ragnar asks, but Torvi fakes a smile, and she shakes her head. “Torvi? If this baby is coming, I need you to tell me.”

“Of course not. It’s too soon.”

“Torvi, please,” Ubbe whispers. “What is happening?”

Torvi looks up at Bjorn, and he can see the fear in her eyes, as her hand stays glued to her stomach. He steps up to her, and he kisses the top of her head, before turning to his father.

“Call an ambulance, tell them the baby is coming.”

Ubbe and Bjorn sit Torvi down on the couch, and they try to get her to keep calm. She is unable to hide how scared she is though, and although both men are holding her and kissing her, she is shaking like a leaf, her teeth chattering.

“It’s too soon,” she whispers, as she turns to face Ubbe.

“Hvitserk was born a few weeks early too,” he says, before brushing the hair out of her face, flashing a reassuring smile. “He was fine.”

“It’s too early, Ubbe.”

“My dad is calling for an ambulance, they will…,” Bjorn begins, but when his father walks into the room, his face is ashen. “What did they say? How long will it be?”

“They are unable to get here, because of the storm,” Ragnar explains, his voice shaking. “The roads are…”

“When will they get here?” Athelstan asks. “Ragnar?”

“They don’t know. It could be hours,” Ragnar admits. “So we ehm… you told me you were there when Alfred was born, right?”

“Yes, but…”

“And you helped?”

“Yes, but that was years ago!”

“I don’t think much has changed since then. Do you?” Ragnar asks, and his husband opens his mouth to speak, but he decides against it, before looking at Torvi, who is staring at the wall now, not even taking in what is happening around her.

“Wait, you want her to have this baby here?” Ubbe asks. “What if something happens?”

“I don’t know, Ubbe! But what other choice do we have? Look outside! How do you want to get her to a hospital, huh?” Ragnar snaps, his sons all staring at him, too nervous to make a sound. “So either she has the baby here, or…”

“Okay, guys,” Halfdan says, when he sees the pale, nervous faces of the teenage boys around the table. “Let’s give them some space. Why don’t we go upstairs?” he suggests. The teenagers all quietly follow his lead, but just as they are about to leave the room, Ubbe stops them.

“Wait, Hvitserk?” he asks. “Stay, please.”

Hvitserk looks at Torvi for permission, but she is still staring at the wall. So he gives a nod, before joining his brother, giving him a squeeze in his shoulder, hoping to give him some kind of comfort.

“If there’s any way we can help…”

“Thank you,” Bjorn says. “I love you.”

Halfdan gives a quick, nervous nod, before leading the teenagers upstairs, away from what is about to happen.

“Torvi,” Athelstan says, in such a strong, determined voice, that Bjorn can’t help but look at him. Only moments ago he had been nervous, yet here he is, taking over, looking stronger than he has ever looked before. “I need you to look at me, okay?”

Torvi nods, staring up at him, but there is a dazed look in her eyes.

“I understand you’re scared, but we are all going to help you get through this,” Athelstan reassures her. “I need you to snap out of this, because whether you’re ready or not, you are about to have this baby. So come on, let’s do this!”

* * *

Bjorn isn’t sure how long it’s been, but tonight he has come to realise that minutes can feel like hours when you watch someone you love suffering, when you watch them in pain, crying out. He had tried to comfort Torvi as much as possible, so had Ubbe. But he could feel himself getting overwhelmed, and Ragnar had noticed, because he had told him to go check on the others.

Bjorn had been grateful for it, and as he goes up the stairs, he takes a deep breath, trying to get all of his strength together for the rest of the night. He fakes a smile though, as he goes into Ivar’s room, where he finds him, Alfred, Sigurd and Halfdan all sitting on the bed, watching a movie together.

“How is she? Is the baby born?” Sigurd asks, before Bjorn has even gotten a chance to open his mouth.

“Not yet.” Bjorn sighs. “But I think it won’t be long. She ehm…”

“How is she?”

“Tired, but you know Torvi, she’s a fighter.”

“How is Ubbe?” Ivar asks.

“Nervous, but he’s hanging in there,” Bjorn says, before adding. “Having Hvitserk there helps. Are you guys okay in here?”

“A little tired,” Alfred admits, and Bjorn can’t help but smile.

“Go to sleep if you want to. I’ll wake you up when the baby is born. Don’t worry. I ehm… I should get back now.”

“Good luck,” Halfdan quickly says. Bjorn almost goes up to him, to kiss him, to hold him, for just a moment, just to feel his warmth, his safety. Just to not have to go back downstairs yet. But he flashes a small smile, and he closes the door again, before going downstairs, where Torvi is trying so hard to stay strong, but the pain is unbearable, and she is crying out, nearly breaking Ubbe’s hand every time she squeezes into it.

Bjorn can see how strong Ubbe is though, how much he has grown up, these last months especially. How he is truly there for Torvi, as he kisses her forehead, whispering words of strength into her ear, even as she cusses him out.

“I need you to start pushing,” Athelstan says, and Bjorn quickly crashes down beside Torvi, and he sends all of his wishes, all of his prayers up to whatever force out there is willing to listen. He tries to give her all of his strength, as he holds onto her leg, Ragnar holding her other leg. He shares a look with his father, but he doesn’t find his own fear in his eyes. Instead, he finds pride, he finds the emotions raging in there, before Ragnar flashes a quick smile, and he looks away, back at his husband, who is trying his very best to guide Torvi through this.

“You can do this,” Ubbe whispers, and he leans down to kiss Torvi’s forehead again, but she pushes him away, nothing but fire left in her eyes.

“Go to hell, Ubbe!”

There had been a nervous tension in the room, but when they all see the sheepish grin on Ubbe’s face, the brothers can’t help but laugh. Only now does it truly hit Bjorn what is happening. In a matter of moments, Torvi and Ubbe’s baby will be born. Just months ago, he had been in that apartment, and he had come out to Torvi, ending their relationship. Now here he is, about to become an uncle to her and Ubbe’s baby. He can’t help but smile when he feels the intense happiness, the intense sense of pride burning inside of him, and when he looks back at Torvi, he finds her staring up at him. She gives a small nod, and he wonders if she knows how he is feeling, if she knows just how happy he is, not just for himself, but for her, for Ubbe, for his entire family.

* * *

Only minutes later, Bjorn is standing in the doorway, watching his two brothers curled up on a chair, both staring down at the baby boy in Ubbe’s arms.

Torvi had held her son for just a moment, but she had been too exhausted to keep her eyes open, so Ragnar had put a blanket over her, and she had fallen asleep before he had even stepped away from her.

Bjorn feels that intense pride still burning inside of him, and when he feels arms wrapping around his chest, a head resting on his shoulder, he can’t help but smile.

“I can’t believe Ubbe is a father,” Ragnar whispers.

“He looks happy, doesn’t he?” Bjorn asks, but for a split-second, he sees himself sitting in that chair, looking down at his and Porunn’s daughter in his arms. It had been the happiest day of his life, but it feels like a lie. Like none of it had been real.

His father seems to know what he is thinking about, because he tightens his grip on him, and he sighs.

“You will get another chance, Bjorn. I know you will.”

“I’m sorry, I’m just…”

“I know.” Ragnar sighs. “But give it a few years, and that’ll be you and Halfdan.”

“I hope so.”

* * *

Bjorn and Halfdan had gone to see Torvi, Ubbe and the baby almost every other day, and it hadn’t taken long for the family to notice how they were with the little boy. Bjorn could see their knowing looks, he could hear them whispering that surely they would be next, surely it won’t be long until there’s another Lothbrok baby.

But Bjorn still remembers Halfdan’s words, his dreams, and he is not willing to give up on them just yet.

Halfdan has just gotten the shopping in, and he is about to clear it away, when he notices the suitcases standing in the middle of the room. A feeling of dread washes over him, so he rushes upstairs, and he finds Bjorn in the bathroom, having just gotten out of the shower.

“What is… why are… do you want me to go?” Halfdan asks, unable to hide his confusion, his fear.

“Yes, Halfdan, I want you to go,” Bjorn says, trying to keep a straight face.

“Why? I thought… what did I do?” Halfdan asks, and as much as Bjorn wants to keep teasing him, he doesn’t want to hurt him, so he flashes a big smile, as he steps up to him.

“I want you to go, Halfdan,” he begins to explain. “To go live your dream.”

“But…”

“With me, as we go see the world. Or a part of it, for now,” Bjorn smiles. “So what do you say?”

“I’m… but what about… when?”

“We’re leaving tonight. I’ve cleared it with my parents, so you don’t have to worry about work.”

Bjorn can see that Halfdan is still trying to process what is happening, so he wraps his arms around him, pulling him close.

“I want to give you the world, Halfdan. I want you to have everything you have ever dreamt of, to have…”

“You have already given me the world, Bjorn. You have given me love, a future…. You have shown me what it means to live.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you!! Xx


End file.
